reddwarf Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 (edited) "There is one more thing how dare you ask me to be amiable you messed everything up you have no rights anymore you gave all those up when you committed adultery because you take your knickers off for anyone who is willing to smile at you. 4 years you put me through a living hell being accused of things I wasn't doing. Then I find out even the neighbours call you one in one out Shirley which just ripped me apart more. I am fixed now and ready to fight you for every last penny you took in your little circus of a life and had the cheek to tell me that I couldn't have expected to live there for free...well I was living alone so I might as well have been . I am not surprised you have no friends to call you own but what I really hate is your turning <Name> into another you. Since being apart from you I have realised I have hundreds of friends and they have all supported me through this living hell you created and yet I still loved you...how foolish how blind. All that time I thought there was something wrong with me (bedroom) but that was down to you , your selfishness....My family and my mother did not hate you its all part of the fantasy world you live in. At first I really wanted to hurt you and tell everyone about the shameful things you had done but I know now that that would achieve nothing except to make myself look petty and small and that I am not I am a better person than you are and will carry that weird crap around in my head forever and now it torments me as well and yes I believe in those circumstances you were a victim or your mother and father......but everything you have done is always made with the same claim "I was lonely and starved of love" , I am sorry you are not using that excuse this time you were very loved much to my expense to the point were I behaved like a mirror image of you. I have done something I never thought would happen 1) I spoke to Vicky and apologised for all the hurt I caused her and she reciprocated and now that ghost has been laid to rest. You need to stop blaming everyone else and the world for the **** that happens to you...take responsibility for your actions Sort your sad sorry of a life out before its to late yes you have a house , car but very little else. Stop taking advantage of people who are in vulnerable positions unless you intend to see it through (your going to have to be his carer in a few short years). Stop messing up relationships that may have some chance of lasting by being paranoid , insecure and devious to try to prove your "instincts" because they are so wide of the mark its untrue. You do need help, <Name> also needs help because of the trauma you have incurred on you both . I do still have resentment because its still very early and still raw but I have gained perspective both through a counsellor and friends and family and I am not ashamed to admit I needed some help to get strong again and to be able to laugh. I am now divorcing you from a position of strength as opposed to anger . I played out many scenarios over and over where I might get to the point were I could forgive you for <Name's> sake but I don't think that's realistic . The one real chance you had of real unconditional love and you blew it because your just not equipped to deal with it . Your love comes with conditions attached and that's not love its a transaction . You need to stop avoiding confrontation every healthy relationship needs it to restore balance and harmony once in a while. I meant what I said the abused has become the abuser you pray on people who are vulnerable and the hurt your going to impose this time is going to be a while lot worse. I would love to be able to sign of by saying what happened happened and I will always be there for you but I can't respect fakes , people who hide behind a shambolic facade of respectability." Edited March 25, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Add paragraphs, remove names and move to Infidelity Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Yeah, you'll regret it. Go absolutely radio-silence dark on her. It'll help you heal, and likely drive her absolutely batsh*t. Much more satisfying in the long run. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Your ex doesn't care. Sending that will show her that she still has power over your emotions, and it'll feed her ego. Burn the letter or delete the email (which ever one it is) and forget her. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author reddwarf Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 she is with another guy i don't think it matters much 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 It's hard to have perspective on the situation now, I know, but it won't be long before you'll be glad to be rid of her. Whichway's point, is very well taken: don't let her know that she has any power over your emotions. Don't share any more of your heart with her. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Regret - tick 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cali408 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Put it in bullet and paragraph form. Read it too yourself. Delete immediately. If you're going to court for divorce, nothing written. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I agree with all the above. You will regret the things in that email. It is very emotional as no doubt you are at the moment. Please punctuate with paragraphs and leave it for a few days before you re-read. It will serve no purpose to send it and you will probably wish you hadn't so don't. Poppy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
badpenny Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 she is with another guy i don't think it matters much It won't matter to her - she's in 'Happy Land'. But it will sure as heck begin to matter to you. A lot. Particularly when you realise she doesn't give a damn and you poured your heart out for nothing. Have you actually sent it? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Write as many letters as you like, but don't post any of them. Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 You've laid down your feelings, but she doesn't deserve access to those anymore. Don't give her the power to hurt you more. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
apeman101 Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 As others have said - Radio silence is the best revenge. Work out and pump some iron to get rid of that anger. Remember you cant change CRAZY BITCHES and its not your responsibility. You should be happy that you got away with it. That is the best happiness ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Davey L Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 You imply that you have already sent it. Why do people do this - do something and ask for advice afterwards when it's too late? If you haven't sent it already then don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Bootsie Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 I well and truly understand where you're coming from. But yes you'll probably come to regret it, especially if it gets shown in divorce proceedings in an attempt to prove your instability. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Yeah you should not have sent it. Ignoring her for the rest of your life would send a better message. That letter made you look weak and desperate. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Hopefully your STBX was stupid enough to delete this message so it won't be used against you. Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 If you haven't sent it to her yet, change the address and send it to yourself or a trusted friend. Write as many as you like, and send them to yourself or a trusted friend. Maintain no contact. Painful to do, but in a few months you'll be so glad you did. Link to post Share on other sites
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