(19 Male)I need to figure out this girl, I'm bad at this.

[Anaxas]

Hello! I've noticed I've gotten a lot better with confidence over the last year, but I like to analyze a lot..

 

I'm 19 years old, turning 20 shortly. I've been going to bars/clubs a lot with friends. I usually just meet new people and hang out with my friends. I've never hit on a girl in that environment (I usually flirt with girls in lecture halls haha), besides a month ago... My friend was talking to two girls, I thought I'd go after the one he wasn't interested in because I found her pretty cute. She was the first girl I actually liked enough at first sight to start hitting on.

 

I'll just give a brief little synopsis: We went to a club and were dancing. We ended up making out a bit. During the night, she took my phone and added herself on FB when I asked for her number. It took her a week and a half to accept the FR she sent from my phone. They wanted to go out again with the both of us, we had a nice sober double date. She added me on Snapchat then, and started messaging me a lot and kept inviting me out (still is). I think her friend really approves of me now, she thought I was playing her friend at first.

 

We've went out 3 or 4 times since then and I have her number now too, but haven't kissed since that first night. She likes dancing with me though, we always go to the same place. It's a lot of fun. I'm not dumb, I'm pretty sure she likes me, but I'm not sure what vibe I'm getting here. I've met a lot of her friends now, she calls me her date or "one of the guys we met".

 

I also keep putting myself under the bus and saying the WORST stuff when I'm drinking. She's suspicious, and I think she thinks I'm playing her. I think she's insecure too.

 

She seems like a fun girl, but she's also upset that I don't text her much or respond to her a lot. My buddy is texting the girl he likes a LOT. I used to do that stuff in high school, but I'd rather see my girl in person! And I have no time to text all day.

 

She invited me to an event at a bar (her friend will be there too, I'm sure), but my friends can't come so I might reconsider getting a ticket. They want me to ask her to something with just the two of us, if I actually like her. They're wondering if I'm planning on dating her or what. She told me last weekend (after a while) that she didn't want to dance anymore (her friend was upset and left so maybe that's why, long story), but if "I come she promises she'll be a lot more fun"....?

 

Does she want to get laid?

 

I don't know how to convince everyone that I'm genuine here. I don't know what this girl wants. Maybe she's playing me, haha?

Edited March 25, 2015 by Anaxas

[Buddhist]

How the hell are we supposed to know if she wants to get laid or not? Serious!

[Anaxas]

How the hell are we supposed to know if she wants to get laid or not? Serious!

 

Sorry haha, I guess I didn't specify what I meant there. I'm just wondering a couple of things:

 

1) Would it be too much to invite her out on an actual date, with just her and I? Or should I assume she just wants a fun guy to go dancing with, or a casual thing?

 

2) I don't like the idea of meeting a girl at a bar, honestly. It looks like her and her friend have been going downtown a lot. She seems like a good girl, but she might do this a lot? But she keeps inviting me downtown constantly, so I guess she thinks I'm special? We've been taking things slower recently, maybe that's why she's been acting like that?

 

Has anyone dated anyone they met at a bar?

[d0nnivain]

My parents met in a bar. They were married for over 40 years. I met my husband in a bar. Bars are not always the problem

 

 

Try to relax. I doubt many 19 year old guys understand women. Don't beat yourself up.

 

 

Keep dating her & learn to put a filter on yourself to stop blurting out the negative stuff. It will be fine if you stop sabotaging yourself.

 

 

Absolutely invite her on a solo non-dancing, non bar date.