My sister is a conspiracy theorist pothead.

[C_Ting]

So I am concerned about my sister. She is 29 years old. I am 4 years older. We have an older brother but we all live far far away from each other.

 

She has a 6x a day pot smoking habit for about 5 years now (a pothead) and she lives with her boyfriend who is a pot dealer. He is on government disability (something about his back) and spends day after day inside his apartment with his curtains closed reading the internet for conspiracy after conspiracy. She ended up with him after cheating on her then-boyfriend (who was a great guy, though emotionally reserved) about 2 years ago.

 

My sister works 25hrs per week at a grocery store and turned down an offer for a supervisor position (She is very emotional. I think it was a good call to decline). She couldn't afford her pot habit unless the guy she is with happens to provide for her (which of course this one can. The last one foot the bill for it too).

 

She is behind in her taxes by 7 years because of complications with her first marriage (She is in Canada, he is in the USA and he is not being helpful at all to get the divorce done). And of course she procrastinated in completing her taxes since then so she needs to get it all up to date.

 

She has dental pain daily and needs money to have her teeth fixed. But has nothing to spare with rent and her habit.

 

For the past few years she started to post conspiracies on Facebook. With little 1 liners like "When will we wake up and stop drinking the koolaid?". Everything from 9/11 to anti-vaccine to conspiracies about Robin Williams and family guy being linked somehow. She believes that the fluoride in the water and toothpaste is making us susceptible to mind control. Even that mercury in our dental fillings can be poisoning us and making us numb to the 'real truth' (Reptilians in the government ranks).

 

We had a tragic childhood with an emotionally tyrannical paranoid father who would physically abuse us and a mother who denied all of it, in fact blaming us for 'making him angry' at times. I have been in therapy for 10 years to work out my own problems that have scarred me from this man. My sister however, believes that psychiatry is evil and that " Big Pharma" has its claws in every doctor/psychiatrist and while she is seeking help for her mood instability problems, she refuses to talk about conspiracy or pot use with her therapist and will not take psychiatric medication. So how can a therapist help if the major issues are being hidden from them?

 

I am torn because when I debunk/disbelieve her theories she gets upset and guilt trips me for "not caring about her beliefs". Or threatens to stop talking to me. But if I stay silent I feel like I am supporting her negative worldview or enabling her conspiracy crutch. I am also pretty upset with her emotional blackmail on this front.

 

Any advice would be appreciated. I don't know how to help her even though I have walked a very similar childhood as she has. I know she is suffering.

 

Has ANYTHING ever gotten through to make conspiracy theorists question themselves at all? She is so convinced. I can't see how she would ever have any motivation to live life if she truly believes all that she says she believes. Its horrifying.

[Downtown]

She has a 6x a day pot smoking habit for about 5 years now.... Has ANYTHING ever gotten through to make conspiracy theorists question themselves at all?

Ting, you likely are seeing the side effects of the marijuana use. It is well known that this drug causes paranoia, especially when it is heavily used. See, e.g., Study Sheds Light on Marijuana and Paranoia. Another possible explanation -- or contributing factor -- may be that your sister developed strong traits of a personality disorder (PD) as a result of the abusive childhood (or as a result of genes inherited from your abusive father). If she is exhibiting strong traits of Borderline PD, for example, paranoia would not be unexpected because it is one of the nine defining traits (i.e., nine behaviors used in diagnosing BPD). Moreover, it is common for BPDers (those with strong traits) to abuse drugs because they have little impulse control and they seek ways to escape their internal pain and feelings of emptiness.

 

Yet, regardless of what is causing her paranoia, it is extremely unlikely that you can make a dent in it by reasoning with her, as you suggest. If the drug is causing paranoia, the solution is to stop using the marijuana. On the other hand, if a PD like BPD is causing the paranoia, the solution is to undergo several years of intensive therapy to learn the emotional skills she was unable to acquire in early childhood. Either way, SHE is the only person who can bring about such change by taking action. In contrast, you have control over NONE of it.

[amaysngrace]

Tell her about Bill Gates trying to confuse everybody about what sexuality they are as a way to solve the Earth's overpopulation problem.

 

That one is my mine.

[rester]

Ting, you likely are seeing the side effects of the marijuana use. It is well known that this drug causes paranoia, especially when it is heavily used. See, e.g., Study Sheds Light on Marijuana and Paranoia. Another possible explanation -- or contributing factor -- may be that your sister developed strong traits of a personality disorder (PD) as a result of the abusive childhood (or as a result of genes inherited from your abusive father). If she is exhibiting strong traits of Borderline PD, for example, paranoia would not be unexpected because it is one of the nine defining traits (i.e., nine behaviors used in diagnosing BPD). Moreover, it is common for BPDers (those with strong traits) to abuse drugs because they have little impulse control and they seek ways to escape their internal pain and feelings of emptiness.

 

Yet, regardless of what is causing her paranoia, it is extremely unlikely that you can make a dent in it by reasoning with her, as you suggest. If the drug is causing paranoia, the solution is to stop using the marijuana. On the other hand, if a PD like BPD is causing the paranoia, the solution is to undergo several years of intensive therapy to learn the emotional skills she was unable to acquire in early childhood. Either way, SHE is the only person who can bring about such change by taking action. In contrast, you have control over NONE of it.

 

Interesting study. Might as well link to the actual abstract rather than an article about the abstract:

 

How Cannabis Causes Paranoia: Using the Intravenous Administration of ?9-Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) to Identify Key Cognitive Mechanisms Leading to Paranoia

 

What I find most interesting is that they screened out participants that "did not report persecutory ideation" and also injected them with THC, which is not a typical form of consumption.

 

So basically they took people that already suffered from some form of paranoia, injected them with THC, and recorded the results.

[SycamoreCircle]

The troublesome pot is not the marijuana, so to speak, it's the cauldron of bad choices she's simmering in.

 

I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with her slacker lifestyle. However, subscribing to what amounts to another form of mind control which would probably dissipate altogether were she not seeing this guy is a problem. I guess I'm saying this guy is at the center of her troubles.

 

Of course all of her neglected responsibilities carry serious consequences. Maybe you can both agree that the IRS is not a conspiracy. They're a very real organization, with real designs on your wallet.

 

Remember Romeo & Juliet? Trying to come between Cheech & Chong will probably not bode well for you. My best advice is do your best not to push her completely out of your life; try to be a support for her(as best you can) and pray that this relationship runs its course without her getting pregnant or deeper in the hole.

 

Again, I think your best bet is to try to befriend her on some level, so that you have something to work with. Be very careful how you regard Chong, because she's very much under his persuasion.

[whichwayisup]

Sounds like your father may have had a mental illness too and that can run in families, there's a chance she has some form of mental illness and the pot smoking is making it worse, hence her paranoia...

 

Also, her decisions have been bad and the path she's on is NOT a good one.

 

She doesn't want help, this lifestyle is what she likes....I feel for you because I'm not sure what you can do to try to get her help, try to get her to quit and leave her pothead dealer boyfriend.

 

Will she at least hear you out? Maybe get some other friends and family involved to try to convince her the choices she's making is ruining her life?