Socially awkward

[Maxtor]

Outside of my confort zone, I am always so awkward, and it shows to everyone around. I need time to trust people, I have friends, people i care and they care for me, but it took years and several awkard situations to get there. Like for instance today I got so akward with this girl. Was very embarassing. Anyone here with the same curse?

 

I see guys and girls making friends in no time, going out, party etc, and i cant seem to do that. I never have fun in those situations. People sometimes perceive me as arrogant, but im not, it just i was bullied when i was a kid. In the 5th grade I remember I was trying to make friends, and they kept shutting me down. One time I was like "hey, so, whats our next class?" and the kid responded me "Dont you have the schedule?" and went away. That kinda stayed with me.

 

[GorillaTheater]

I'd say you overcome it the same way we overcome other shortcomings: by getting out there and practicing and f*cking up and practicing some more until we're finally comfortable at it and maybe even pretty good.

 

I had to deal with this with public speaking. It's part of my job, but Jesus it was difficult at first. I'm talking paralized-with-fear difficult. I plowed through it, and it got easier and easier and I got better at it.

 

This morning I spoke to a group of young teens. A tougher audience there never was. Some were engaged, some were more-or-less paying attention, and one guy looked like he fell asleep. It was fine. No butterflies at all.

 

But you have to be willing to do the hard work of pushing through your anxiety.

[Maxtor]

I'd say you overcome it the same way we overcome other shortcomings: by getting out there and practicing and f*cking up and practicing some more until we're finally comfortable at it and maybe even pretty good.

 

I had to deal with this with public speaking. It's part of my job, but Jesus it was difficult at first. I'm talking paralized-with-fear difficult. I plowed through it, and it got easier and easier and I got better at it.

 

This morning I spoke to a group of young teens. A tougher audience there never was. Some were engaged, some were more-or-less paying attention, and one guy looked like he fell asleep. It was fine. No butterflies at all.

 

But you have to be willing to do the hard work of pushing through your anxiety.

Thanks for the fast response.

 

I do that, well, i have some activities outside, but all related to bodybuilding and martial arts. I was never good at soccer because you need to play as a team. Group activities with strangers kinda makes me uncomfortable. And small talk makes me unconfortable. I feel like i have no good things to teach, or good experiences to talk about. In college I had a hard time making friends outside of my class, and in 40 people, i only talked to 3 or 4. I like to challenge myself in physical activities, but having a conversation with 6+people, that i barely know, well, i suck at it.

[GorillaTheater]

Just keep getting out there, man. Deliberately put yourself in situations which make you uncomfortable: it pushes your boundaries outwards. Maybe be the quiet guy, at least at first. The one who's engaged in the conversation or whatever else is going on, but doesn't have a lot to say. That's okay, too.

[Male]

I'm akward too. I'm pretty sure I haveAsperger's syndrome. I am the type of person that will sit to the side, and talk with just one person at a party, rather than be the life of the party, seeking attention.

 

I guess I'm a above avg looking guy. I already had dates and was successful with women in my younger days. But now that I'm in my 40's, women my age typically look for that strong communication, and social interaction to show them that a guy likes them, and thats where I fall short. I may like a woman, but I dont know how to show it with words or body language. I'm more like a computer than a person with emotion and feelings.

[susanpetrick]

Hey, you are just a little shy person in nature, That's it .

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Maxtor, I understand where you're coming from as I am incredibly socially awkward when it comes to interacting with people I don't know. Even worse, I show physical signs of anxiety by sweating profusely on my face in awkward situations. I will avoid group outings, networking events...it was so bad one point in my life that I never went out and became a bit of a recluse for about a year.

 

I agree with Gorilla, though. You have to face your fear and force yourself into situations that make you feel uncomfortable. In time, and with practice, you'll start to feel more comfortable.

 

Start with a small goal...such as going to 1 social event every 2 weeks or chatting up at least 1 new random person a day.

 

Set small goals and you'll see yourself grow as times goes on!