Fortunesfool 79 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I don't want him to leave his wife for me. And, of course, trust would be a huge issue in any relationship that began as an A. Hope I didn't come off wrong. I didn't take that into account in my situation until the end. I was to caught up in it. Without trust there's nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 and he left his wife a few weeks ago. He gave my friend a diamond ring, asking for commitment. Now they are living together. she's getting what she wanted, but from the outside it all seems so crazy and like a disaster waiting to happen. I guess time will tell. How can a man give another woman an engagement ring when he 'just left' his wife a few weeks ago and isn't even divorced yet? To me that's a huge red flag and your friend is going to be very hurt (when) he returns home in a couple months. One can't just pop out of a marriage and the next day start a new life with someone else. For obvious reasons... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grapesofwrath Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 How can a man give another woman an engagement ring when he 'just left' his wife a few weeks ago and isn't even divorced yet? To me that's a huge red flag and your friend is going to be very hurt (when) he returns home in a couple months. One can't just pop out of a marriage and the next day start a new life with someone else. For obvious reasons... I agree with you, WWIU. There are a lot of red flags there, and everywhere it seems. Met with another old friend yesterday who is married for 15 years or so. sexless marriage. She is the breadwinner. She has had 2 affairs. Contemplating divorce, but afraid of it as many are. Great to see her and to talk, but all this leaves me wondering if anyone is really content and satisfied in long-term marriages anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Now they are living together. she's getting what she wanted, but from the outside it all seems so crazy and like a disaster waiting to happen. I guess time will tell. why do you think that, Grapes...? i'm interested to read your point of view. is it because they seem to be moving fast or...? Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Great to see her and to talk, but all this leaves me wondering if anyone is really content and satisfied in long-term marriages anymore. i only know around two or three marriages and a lot more relationship... most of them just getting started. but yeah... a lot of people is unhappy out there. just yesterday, my neighbour had left his wife for the OW -- he had tons of affairs in the past but i guess this OW did it for him. depressing when you see how many marriages fall apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grapesofwrath Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 why do you think that, Grapes...? i'm interested to read your point of view. is it because they seem to be moving fast or...? It seems very very quick. He gave her the ring a year ago, as she was divorcing, but stayed with his wife until about a month ago or so. Moved right into her house with her teenage son. Not sure that's the best idea, either. the MM has a daughter, age 7, and she hasn't met her yet, so the MM has to chase visitation for just a few hours here or there. Just my opinion, but I would think it would make more sense for him to get a place on his own and sort out his divorce, rather than just move in with her. Living together is a big step. I think his wife is struggling, understandably. She has come to my friend's office, and driven by her house multiple times. No one is in counseling,c and I think that should be part of the equation, too. Everyone is acting on pure emotion right now. Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 It seems very very quick. He gave her the ring a year ago, as she was divorcing, but stayed with his wife until about a month ago or so. Moved right into her house with her teenage son. Not sure that's the best idea, either. the MM has a daughter, age 7, and she hasn't met her yet, so the MM has to chase visitation for just a few hours here or there. Just my opinion, but I would think it would make more sense for him to get a place on his own and sort out his divorce, rather than just move in with her. Living together is a big step. I think his wife is struggling, understandably. She has come to my friend's office, and driven by her house multiple times. No one is in counseling,c and I think that should be part of the equation, too. Everyone is acting on pure emotion right now. Agree on this- lots of factors here, not just marrying an AP but a pretty messy situation even without infidelity- Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts