katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 So have we established the OP is a female? Yes, read my earlier post. I checked her profile, she is, in fact, female. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Yes, read my earlier post. I checked her profile, she is, in fact, female. This should actually make no difference... Its simple. She doesn't have the money to spend so she can't spend it. How about turning this on the other foot... "I am really upset because my boyfriend earns more than me and expects me to pay to go and see his. I have been saving as much as I can but I can't go until 1 month later... " What would we all be saying then? Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 This just screams entitlement. This is why I say that the OP's girlfriend shouldn't pay. It's ridiculous. Okay fine. Then her girlfriend needs to stop bitching that she (the OP) can't come in June, and just be happy she can come in July .... when she DOES have the money! So to be fair...the OP's girlfriend's attitude about that is just as ridiculous as the OP expecting her to pay a measley $100 bucks so she can come in June...instead of when she can afford it, which again is only one month later....in July. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 What if her leave time is in June and not July? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Guys, if you know anything about lesbian relationships, there is still a "masculine" and "feminine" dynamic/energy at play. If I had to take a wild guess ...it would be the OP is the feminine energy and her girlfriend is the masculine energy. So that said, her girlfriend (the male energy,) makes more money. A lot more money. She came to visit the OP first, as we often advise MEN in this same situation to do. Now she wants her girlfriend (the "female" energy) to visit her. Fair enough. Problem is, the OP won't have the money until July....but her girlfriend (the male energy) wants her to come in June, and is upset the OP can't do that. As again she WON'T have the money saved to go until JULY! So what's the solution? Fitnessfan what would you do in this situation? Bitch and moan that your girlfriend can't come until July because she doesn't have the money saved yet? Or chip in a measley $100 (which is all the OP needs) so she can come when YOU want??? Keep in mind, you make a lot more money than she does. Think about it.... :) I'd chip in the money ... but i'd be more inclined to do it if i was the one to offer ... not her the one to ask. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 This should actually make no difference... Its simple. She doesn't have the money to spend so she can't spend it. How about turning this on the other foot... "I am really upset because my boyfriend earns more than me and expects me to pay to go and see his. I have been saving as much as I can but I can't go until 1 month later... " What would we all be saying then? This is what I would be saying. If I were in a LDR with my boyfriend, and he wanted me to come visit in June, BUT I wouldn't have the money to visit until July, I would expect him to be happy he gets to see me in JULY! If he insisted I still come in June, and bitched about the fact I couldn't afford until July, I would say "look dude, I can't afford to come until July. Either be happy with that. or if you can't and are gonna bitch at me about it, then lend me $100 so I "can" come when YOU want!" Lol, I would probably say that little more gently, but hopefully you get the point. Bottom line...either he lend her the damn $100..so she come come in June, instead of July ... OR stop whining like a spoiled baby and STFU...and be happy she can come in July. JMO.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 What if her leave time is in June and not July? What does he expect her to do? Pull money out of the sky she doesn't have? If her leave is in June... then hell, LEND her the $100 bucks she needs so she can come in June!! Sheesh! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Funny your stance given the "masculine" vs "feminine" roles. Listen, this thread isn't "What should I do?". This thread isn't "Why is my girlfriend acting like this?". It's titled "Should she pay" and everything posted is a reflection of entitlement and expectation. Regardless of whatever the girlfriend is saying, the OP's attitude is reflecting something completely different. If I wanted to see that special someone and they had just paid for all of those expenses in January, I'd rather ask a family member or a friend for that money and then repay them in July once I had all of it back. But nope... this thread has shifted to an accusatory stance on the girlfriend simply because they are in the masculine role. There ARE other options to this dilemma and I think I gave a great and valid one. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 I'm sorry folks but this just isn't going to fly. When you have a serious discrepancy like this in the earning potential between two romantically involved parties, then power-plays come into being and it all gets very unpleasant. IMO the OP is punching above her weight and needs to either get a better job or set her sights a bit lower. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Funny your stance given the "masculine" vs "feminine" roles. Listen, this thread isn't "What should I do?". This thread isn't "Why is my girlfriend acting like this?". It's titled "Should she pay" and everything posted is a reflection of entitlement and expectation. Regardless of whatever the girlfriend is saying, the OP's attitude is reflecting something completely different. If I wanted to see that special someone and they had just paid for all of those expenses in January, I'd rather ask a family member or a friend for that money and then repay them in July once I had all of it back. But nope... this thread has shifted to an accusatory stance on the girlfriend simply because they are in the masculine role. There ARE other options to this dilemma and I think I gave a great and valid one. Diezel, what was your advice ...I must've missed it...sorry. I will go back and try to find... Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Diezel, what was your advice ...I must've missed it...sorry. I will go back and try to find... Hmm...couldn't find. Oh well... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 If this recent posting is indicative, the OP is either straight and experimenting or bi-sexual. As far as the gold-digger part, I doubt it, rather simply a desire or interest in balance and equity. If funds aren't available, they aren't. LDR's are expensive. BTDT, internationally. If the parties are willing to work as a team, then challenges can be overcome. If not, not. I'd send my sincere regrets and let it go at that. If an opportunity comes up again, re-examine then. In the interim, budget for such circumstances and consider it an investment in the future potentials in life. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 One last comment, then gotta run. ANY boyfriend/girlfriend who is inclined to get ANGRY at their partner (as is the case here and the subject of this thread)...because he/she can't afford to visit until one month after the desired time to visit...IS NOT a boyfriend/girlfriend worth having! What should the OP do? Dump him (err, her) and find someone who actually gives a shyt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author love1336x Posted March 26, 2015 Author Share Posted March 26, 2015 I am female. I do work two jobs. I am a babysitter, and work at supermarket, PLUS i am a FULL time student. The supermarket job is very flexible with my school schedule. No job is ever that flexible my school schedule changes every semester. 2ndly, i was on a TEST. She wanting to see if I would give the funds to see her. I did the math, if i saved 50 dollars a week to July. I would had the money for her. I told her this, and then she said, "Aww, baby I always had you I just wanting to see if you would paid..." <3 Women and their mind games. Yes, she stood at hotel because my mother does not approve of this relationship. She does not believed a woman should be with another woman. I pay for my car, rent, insurance, school, nothing is handed to me. with my low crap job and babysitting on the side. I work my tail off. I am far from lazy. I am pretty sure my post came out snobby, but I don't have the funds to see her, and she knew this at the start of our relationship. If you're entering a relationship with a hardworking woman who is tryig to make it in life. Don't expect to be an extra bill to her. Help her, love her, but don't expect the same amount of blowing cash like you do for her. That isn't logically AT ALL. Link to post Share on other sites
Author love1336x Posted March 26, 2015 Author Share Posted March 26, 2015 This is what I would be saying. If I were in a LDR with my boyfriend, and he wanted me to come visit in June, BUT I wouldn't have the money to visit until July, I would expect him to be happy he gets to see me in JULY! If he insisted I still come in June, and bitched about the fact I couldn't afford until July, I would say "look dude, I can't afford to come until July. Either be happy with that. or if you can't and are gonna bitch at me about it, then lend me $100 so I "can" come when YOU want!" Lol, I would probably say that little more gently, but hopefully you get the point. Bottom line...either he lend her the damn $100..so she come come in June, instead of July ... OR stop whining like a spoiled baby and STFU...and be happy she can come in July. JMO.... You should have wrote my post instead because this is what I was aiming for, but everyone here oh course wants to see it in a negative light and talk crap. Link to post Share on other sites
Author love1336x Posted March 26, 2015 Author Share Posted March 26, 2015 That's what I did when I was working a dead end retail job Best decision I ever made. http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/military-humor-join-the-army-they-said.jpg I had one that said air force >_> close enough though. =) I have one year left of college, so i am not staying in my dead end job until the end of time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 I don't see kindness or compassion on either side of this LDR. The OP is willing to save to pay her own way in July. If the GF can't accept this because she has leave time & needs the OP to come in June, then she needs to pay to make that happen, especially if she has more disposable income. When you care about somebody else, you work together to get to see each other. You don't pout & cry about whose turn it is to pay & who's right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 (edited) By the way, I just checked her profile. She is, in fact, female. So there ya go..... doesn't change my advice. she/he/whoever needs to get more financially solvent and quit expecting others to support her. If they offer to pay for things, that's one thing; but to expect them to fork over money because you can't do better for yourself? No. Some relationships aren't meant to be for a variety of reasons. For this one, it's logistics and finances. Edited March 26, 2015 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Should she pay? If she feels like it. Just be prepared to have it thrown it in your face (the fact that she constantly pays for you). I've seen it in other couples, when the situation was financially unbalanced and it was made obvious at every turn. In the end, it usually breaks the couple. I say, at this point, enjoy the pampering she's giving you. It's not written in stone that it will last. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sexitif Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 My ex used me for thousands of dollars and then dumped me when he thought I had no more money and when I needed him most Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 I think the best solution is to take a bus. You can sleep overnight on the way. There are a lot of ways to save money, if you apply yourself. She should not pay for your trip. She really shouldn't be mad, either. She may just be frustrated but it is what it is, and this is exactly the reason LDR's are largely a "fail." Even if both of you had more money, it would still be difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
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