Noirek Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Bottom line, OP posted in the infiledilty section regarding the pain of his spouse choosing to betray him and have an A. Instead of giving this hurting BH a "reeducation," perhaps those who cannot separate this BH's legitimate pain from their own need to criticize his stance on homosxuality should refrain from posting. If she had cheated with a man, we'd all be helping him instead of pontificating. It might make you feel better to stop getting so upset the others are offering different advice than you. The plot hole can't be filled. You are probably wasting your emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
fellini Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 (edited) If this BH's ww had committed infidelity with a man, and OP's post indicated behaviours which this community deemed destructive to his ensuring his well being and losing his chances of having some level of custody of his kids, we would be saying similar things. What he is showing us is his values might cost him his ability for his rights in a settlement. Nothing you say makes sense that the only issue here is the infidelity. His marriage is over, you know it, now he has to face divorce and he has to not jeopardize his rights in doing so Bottom line, OP posted in the infiledilty section regarding the pain of his spouse choosing to betray him and have an A. Instead of giving this hurting BH a "reeducation," perhaps those who cannot separate this BH's legitimate pain from their own need to criticize his stance on homosxuality should refrain from posting. If she had cheated with a man, we'd all be helping him instead of pontificating. Edited March 28, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator rude~T Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 (edited) If this BH's ww had committed infidelity with a man, and OP's post indicated behaviours which this community deemed destructive to his ensuring his well being and losing his chances of having some level of custody of his kids, we would be saying similar things. What he is showing us is his values might cost him his ability for his rights in a settlement. Nothing you say makes sense that the only issue here is the infidelity. His marriage is over, you know it, now he has to face divorce and he has to not jeopardize his rights in doing so Obviously the fact that this was a homosexual affair is significant. It does not make his pain any less, and neither does his view on homosexuality. But whatevs. OP, I hope you get some help for the pain that you, as a BH, feel. Edited March 28, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 I'm holding my tongue since the OP is the aggrieved in this thread, but there's so much to find offensive about the update. Undoubtedly this outcome is actually for the best, given all that's come to light. On the custody thing, the only way Veronica would be barred from seeing the children in a custody agreement is if you could present significant tangible evidence that she was a threat to them. Not only does there seem to be none of that, it sounds like she's actually a positive influence in their lives.That is indeed wise to hold tongue as this has unfolded in ways that are less then civil. Where did you study law that you site the reasoning that Veronica can be in the childrens life? You are aware that even grandparents have to petition the courts for visitations? And guess what,if grandparents have to go that route, Veronica does not get a free pass for being the live-in lover. The husband can actually get sole custody and he can ask the courts for supervised visits where Veronica is not allowed to inter act. Op, get a lawyer and stop talking to the mom of your kids. You are in no position to negotiate or be a pawn in her shannigans. Let your lawyer do the talking. Btw does the mrs have a career to sustain her financially? Please see my reply at the following link: Conversion/Reparative Therapy ~ Noirek, not sure if this is actually the right thread to do it (it's probably not, frankly), but I' d be interested to hear a consolidated analysis on why you think the OP might be disingenuous. I've read bits and pieces throughout the thread, but putting it all together might be helpful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 OP, is it possible this hasn't been going on as long as she says (2 years)? Although I don't understand why she would lie in a direction that makes it look worse for her. Unless maybe she was trying to convince everyone that it is real because she thought they might interpret it as a fling if she said it was much shorter? The timeline of this just makes no sense to me. I agree completely with the points that Noirek made about it being nearly impossible to expect the kids not to say something about this woman in the course of 2 years. I don't think anyone could have made them keep a secret - telling 3, 4, and 5-year-olds to keep something secret pretty much guarantees that they will blurt it out at the next available opportunity. Also, I agree with her point that their reactions just seem more mature than what anyone would expect of such young children. I can't believe they would understand any of this well enough to be mad at you, OP - if anything, they would just be confused, or even be mad and very upset at their mom for leaving. Just can't wrap my brain around that. The other thing with the timeline is that if the affair started 2 years ago, the kids were then newborn, 1 year, 3 years, and 3 years. I can't even imagine having time to take a shower with kids that age, let alone have an affair. When did she find time? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 I ooverhead the twins talking in their bedroom about Lana and mommy kissing but I'm not sure if I'm just hearing things. I don't want to ask them because they would of told me by now if it wasn't a secret, no? I'm just really confused and angry right now. I want to know what kind of relationship Veronica had with my kids and howmuch tthey really know but I can't imagine getting anywhere. I feel like I don't know the whole story. Should I arrange to speak with them again? Is Lana also Veronica? Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 As it seems to be going off track again, at this time we're going to leave this thread closed to new posts. ~Thank you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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