Wife left me for a woman

[Methodical]

So long as you are a loving father who is involved in your children's lives you'll never lose them. Kids are resilient and have very open hearts and tons of love to go around. They love people who are good to them, help them, encourage them, are supportive of them. Veronica will be a part of their lives but she can't and won't replace you! As much as you don't like her, she is good to your kids, and I'm sure you'd rather a loving person be in their lives than someone who couldn't care less about or for them. Love your children, and they'll love you!

[miseenscene]

and do you have a restaining order to protect your kids from the OW?

 

OMG are you for real?? This is 2015, harrybrown. Homophobia is just not going to cut it as a rationale for a restraining order.

[Methodical]

I had a short conversation with my wife over the phone. I tried to scare her by telling her that she could either come back now and I will forgive her or I would get a divorce and we can never be a full family like we have alwkeep dreamt of. She responded by saying, "fine". I was so shocked, like thats all she said! I asked her what she meant and she told me she wanted a divorce and I honestly felt like crying. I am a grown man that hasn't cried in years, this was the closest I have ever come.

 

I tried reminding her of what she was giving up but she just said that she wasn't giving up on her kids, only me. She isnt working at the moment so I mentioned that she couldn't take care of them, so I should keep them while she runs along with her new girlfriend. She just told me her job is still there for her and Veronica can help her out. I tried everything to get her to change her mind but she doesnt care. The whole conversation consisted of me trying to make her see sense and her just snapping back with perfect responses.

 

Trying to scare or strong-arm her will only confirm that she's made the right decision because she views you as a manipulative person. If she was sitting on the bed crying and told you she had something to tell you, she didn't just wake up that morning and decide to leave. She has put thought into this and Veronica is onboard. That's not what you want to hear, but it is the reality you are facing.

[miseenscene]

Me too. I agree with harrybrown's advice. And this is definitely not the platform to argue gay rights etc.. this is about a husband whose wife cheated on him so let's keep it focused on the cheating.

 

Except that is disingenuous. Harrybrown is suggesting the OP takes a restraining order on the AP to "protect" the children. From what? The Gay Agenda? Restraining orders are never suggested here on LS unless the AP is a felon/drug addict etc. From what the OP said, this woman is gainfully employed in civil service, and there was absolutely nothing in his description of her that would in any way indicate she might be an inappropriate person for his children to be around -- aside from his homophobia. It is great that he is getting constructive advice, but co-signing his homophobia and then saying "it's not about gay rights...it's about a husband whose wife cheated" is, like I said, disingenuous.

[writergal]

Except that is disingenuous. Harrybrown is suggesting the OP takes a restraining order on the AP to "protect" the children. From what? The Gay Agenda? Restraining orders are never suggested here on LS unless the AP is a felon/drug addict etc. From what the OP said, this woman is gainfully employed in civil service, and there was absolutely nothing in his description of her that would in any way indicate she might be an inappropriate person for his children to be around -- aside from his homophobia. It is great that he is getting constructive advice, but co-signing his homophobia and then saying "it's not about gay rights...it's about a husband whose wife cheated" is, like I said, disingenuous.

 

Let me specify something: I agree with harry's advice to expose the affair to both sets of parents and to file for divorce. I don't agree with harry's advice to the OP to get a restraining order against Veronica. That's the only part of his advice that I disagree with. So I am not con-signing his homophobia. And no, it's not about gay rights. Let's keep that out of this thread. This thread is about how the OP should deal with his wife's affair and now her request for a divorce.

[miseenscene]

Let me specify something: I agree with harry's advice to expose the affair to both sets of parents and to file for divorce. I don't agree with harry's advice to the OP to get a restraining order against Veronica. That's the only part of his advice that I disagree with. So I am not con-signing his homophobia. And no, it's not about gay rights. Let's keep that out of this thread. This thread is about how the OP should deal with his wife's affair and now her request for a divorce.

 

Ok, thank you for clarifying.

[writergal]

Ok, thank you for clarifying.

 

Sure, no problem.

[SycamoreCircle]

I had a short conversation with my wife over the phone. I tried to scare her by telling her that she could either come back now and I will forgive her or I would get a divorce and we can never be a full family like we have alwkeep dreamt of. She responded by saying, "fine". I was so shocked, like thats all she said! I asked her what she meant and she told me she wanted a divorce and I honestly felt like crying. I am a grown man that hasn't cried in years, this was the closest I have ever come.

 

I tried reminding her of what she was giving up but she just said that she wasn't giving up on her kids, only me. She isnt working at the moment so I mentioned that she couldn't take care of them, so I should keep them while she runs along with her new girlfriend. She just told me her job is still there for her and Veronica can help her out. I tried everything to get her to change her mind but she doesnt care. The whole conversation consisted of me trying to make her see sense and her just snapping back with perfect responses.

OP, you've got to tighten up your game a little bit. SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. If you had discovered the affair two months or two years back(whichever applies) then maybe you could find something to threaten her with, but as foggy as you may judge her thinking, she's got all the bases covered with regards to pushing you out and pushing The Double Life of Veronique in. Play this sh;t like chess here on in.

 

Don't be physically near her. I read a post a day or two ago of a guy who went to jail when his wife, who fell in love with another woman, called the police on him for domestic abuse. The evidence: a boo-boo on her knee. He spent time in jail, too. Seriously. Consider that this cµnt, pardon French, will slit your throat while you sleep.

 

The only time you may ever see something of your old wife again is when Veronica realizes she got more than she bargained for and ends things with your wife. Then your wife's false reality will start to disintegrate.

[Mal78]

I was looking for some information on how to cope with this situation online because I am far too embarrassed to talk to my friends about this. I eventually ran into this website and I would really like some advice on how to cope, what sexual and could somehow get my wife back.

 

My wife and I have been together for ten years and married for six. We have four beautiful children (2, 3, 5, 5) and a had a wonderful marriage (or so I thought). Four years ago my wife introduced me to a friend of hers named Veronica (not her real name) and I thought she was great. I was really happy for my wife as we recently moved and she had trouble finding friends while I worked at a firehouse so I made friends easily. Veronica and I also had a lot in common, we both loved hockey, listened to the same music and she was also a firefighter which really intrigued me because I have never met a female firefighter before.

 

Our very brief friendship ended when I found out she was a lesbian. I knew she was into guy things but she is also very feminine and looks like a stunner to be honest.

You AND your wife knows how to pick'em

If it was just me as a single guy, I would have no problem with her sexual preference but I am raising three daughters and she was too close to my wife.I told my wife that I didn't want her around the kids anymore and that I would like it if they weren't friends.

Ok, this might of contradicted that you have 3 daughters, I assume the 4th child is a boy.

She got angry and upset and I realized I was being unreasonable. I can't dictate who my wife hangs around with but I still didn't want her in my home. I never saw Veronica again but my wife was still friends with her for a while. I asked her about a little over two years ago if they still hung out and she said no.

 

Fast forward to the present. Last week I found my wife sitting on her bed crying, she told me had to tell me something very important and that's when I got the news that she cheated on me with Veronica!We had a bit of a shouting match until one of our kids woke up. She is currently staying at a hotel that her new whore (sorry I'm still fuming) is paying for. I asked how long it was going on for but she won't tell me. I even told her that I would take her back but she says she loves Veronica and wants to be with her.I don't believe that she is actually a lesbian, I think she was bored and is looking for something exciting and taboo

She fell IN LOVE with her. This isn't about being bored and wanting something exciting and taboo, your wife IS a lesbian. This is not a poor reflection on you that you "turned her gay", the A of course was 100% wrong and a very poor reflection on her. Regardless, your wife is and may have always been gay.

Her parents will freak when they find out! How can I deal with this? Is there any way that I can make her come back?

 

You can't make her come back, nor should you. You didn't deserve to be deceive firstly that she is gay and secondly that she couldn't end it with you first before pursuing another relationship. Our choices are a reflection of ourselves. Whatever you choose to do next you need to see it how your children might. Ultimately they are potential casualties in all this. Stay true to them, get a lawyer and protect yourself. Yes, ultimately this women could be part of their lives however don't use that fact against them now. They need their Mother good, bad or in different.

 

I am sorry you have to endure this pain.

[SycamoreCircle]

For your own sense of well-being, I think it's important that you understand your wife did not fall in love with this woman. Maybe some people will disagree with me. But I firmly believe that LOVE is never born out of deceit or emotional dishonesty. It doesn't work that way.

 

Your wife is a broken woman. She does not need another relationship right now. She needs to be by herself and evaluate why she chose to fill some emptiness within her this way.

 

You may be a lousy husband and the wife may have grown apart from you but the fact she chose this way as a way out speaks volumes about her inner well-being, her sufficiency.

[Methodical]

You may be a lousy husband and the wife may have grown apart from you but the fact she chose this way as a way out speaks volumes about her inner well-being, her sufficiency.

 

Would you mind elaborating on this? I feel like you have some deeper thoughts concerning this and I'm curious as to what they are.

[SycamoreCircle]

Would you mind elaborating on this? I feel like you have some deeper thoughts concerning this and I'm curious as to what they are.

If I'm in a loving, committed relationship with someone and I'm not happy, it is my responsibility to communicate that unhappiness to my partner. The fact that this woman resorted to deceitful behavior to remedy her unhappiness is a reflection on her---her inadequacy, her dishonesty, her selfishness. Mature, responsible people, especially those with children, do not engage in such behavior. No new source of emotional support, however complete, however tender, will make up for essential lack.

[bubbaganoosh]

Maybe it's me reading this wrong but if your wife left you for a woman, I can't see how she can go from straight to gay in such a short while unless she already was bi or just lying to you and you didn't have a clue to her sexual preferences. Did she ever tell you that she was attracted to women in the past before you were married?

 

If she wants a divorce then I would grant her one but no matter how hard you try, just because she's gay doesn't mean that she's a bad Mom and the kids deserve to see her. I doesn't mean that your kids will turn out gay and if they do what are you going to do. Love them just like you would if they were straight. But don't deny the kids their mom because I promise you it will come back and haunt you.

[jen1447]

Trying to scare or strong-arm her will only confirm that she's made the right decision because she views you as a manipulative person. If she was sitting on the bed crying and told you she had something to tell you, she didn't just wake up that morning and decide to leave. She has put thought into this and Veronica is onboard. That's not what you want to hear, but it is the reality you are facing.

 

I agree, 'going hard' was the wrong approach. Instead, step back and evaluate.

 

1. No one's in physical danger, unless there's something you haven't shared about Veronica or your wife, so no one has to be moved, removed, repositioned, etc. Just let them be for the moment.

2. There's no real rush to get anything done here at this point, so the better approach is to take the long view and figure out what your options are and what you actually want before you start taking random action. There's plenty of time to consult lawyers and file for divorce and all that IF you decide it's what you actually want to do. Just decide first. And that might take you some time to clear your head first.

 

I hope that your wife doesn't just go ahead and file now based on the conversation you had. I'm not clear why it appears to be up to you to determine the children's whereabouts. Can you elaborate on that? I wouldn't suggest trying to play hard ball with custody type matters either at ths stage because generally the courts very much favor the mother on that. If there's no reason for a judge to believe anyone's in danger of any kind, there's little chance that they'll allow you sole temporary custody until you work things out, unless like I asked above there's some reason you have some privilege in this area already.

[SimtinMan]

Update.

 

I had a conversation with my wife and Veronica late last night. I invited both of them over to my house while the kids were sleeping over of my parents. They said no at first because the didn't trust me (what am I going to do?) but they eventually came and I sort of ambushed them with my wife's parents. I didn't tell them that my wife cheated with a woman but they kind of figured it out when they saw the two lovebirds holding hands Iin the driveway.

 

My wife completely freaked out about her parents after being there and they started having a screaming match. They told her she was making a mistake and that she was not actually in love with Veronica. What really caught my attention was when her mom said "not this again", I asked her what she meant by that and everyone calmed down to talk. Apparently my wife has been with girls before but her mom put her in "therapy" to "cure" her. My wife told me she was sorry and she thought she got over her attraction to women after years of therapy until she met Veronica.

 

Veronica was quiet for the majority of the conversation until I brought up her seeing my kids behind my back. She said that she has "bonded" with the children and wants to continue seeing them eventually. My wife's mother didn't take that comment very well and started calling her a child molester, then her and my wife started arguing again. Veronica, my wife's dad and I just sat there waiting for them to cool down and when they we continued our conversation.

 

I asked them how long it was going on for. They said 2 years! This made me angry so I decided to push Veronica's buttons. I asked her how she felt about her "girlfriend" having sex with me while they were together. She said, "How do you feel about your wife sleeping with me behind your back? I was fully aware of your relationship, there are no lies between us. I was free to sleep with other women if I pleased, Your wife knew how unfair this relationship was on me but I didn't sleep with anyone I love your wife " I wanted to start punching walls at this point but I kept my cool. I asked her if my wife loved her so much why did she stay with me and having sex with me. She responded with "she stayed because she was scared of dissapointing her family and her children. When she was ****ing you she was thinking of me so I wouldnt feel so proud" I was speechless and so was everyone in the room. Even my wife looked at me sympathetically.

 

I was done at that point. This woman is a complete bitch and my wife left me for that. I asked for time alone with my wife and they all left. I asked her why she was with such a horrible woman she told me that she is usually a "sweetheart" and that I pushed her. She also told me that she was serious about the divorce and she thinks that we should have the same amount of time given to have the children. I asked her if she was planning on letting the children see Veronica and she said "of course" (wtf) I asked her if she loved Veronica so much why is she staying in a hotel. She told me that she needed to be alone for a little while and she will be moving in with Veronica the next day and she wants the kids to visit them on the weekend until they get this settled and then we can find out how we will arrange custody and what not.

 

I am so angry and upset. I had no idea that it was this serious and I'll probably never have her back again. My friends will laugh at me and my father will be so ashamed. I still don't want my kids around that bitch. Is there any way I can stop them from seeing her in the long haul?

[bigman1]

You can't. The kids are both your wife's and yours. Sorry dude. She's gay or bi, but it does not matter. She's gone. 2 yr lta, moved in, confrontation and she's gone. Its like any other divorce. If limits on new people introductions is legal, it will follow those rules.

 

Get therapy for you kids and you to deal with the divorce. Her sexuality is irrelevant to her leaving. Just a cheater who left.

[Methodical]

Update.

 

I had a conversation with my wife and Veronica late last night. I invited both of them over to my house while the kids were sleeping over of my parents. They said no at first because the didn't trust me (what am I going to do?) but they eventually came and I sort of ambushed them with my wife's parents. I didn't tell them that my wife cheated with a woman but they kind of figured it out when they saw the two lovebirds holding hands Iin the driveway.

 

My wife completely freaked out about her parents after being there and they started having a screaming match. They told her she was making a mistake and that she was not actually in love with Veronica. What really caught my attention was when her mom said "not this again", I asked her what she meant by that and everyone calmed down to talk. Apparently my wife has been with girls before but her mom put her in "therapy" to "cure" her. My wife told me she was sorry and she thought she got over her attraction to women after years of therapy until she met Veronica.

 

Veronica was quiet for the majority of the conversation until I brought up her seeing my kids behind my back. She said that she has "bonded" with the children and wants to continue seeing them eventually. My wife's mother didn't take that comment very well and started calling her a child molester, then her and my wife started arguing again. Veronica, my wife's dad and I just sat there waiting for them to cool down and when they we continued our conversation.

 

I asked them how long it was going on for. They said 2 years! This made me angry so I decided to push Veronica's buttons. I asked her how she felt about her "girlfriend" having sex with me while they were together. She said, "How do you feel about your wife sleeping with me behind your back? I was fully aware of your relationship, there are no lies between us. I was free to sleep with other women if I pleased, Your wife knew how unfair this relationship was on me but I didn't sleep with anyone I love your wife " I wanted to start punching walls at this point but I kept my cool. I asked her if my wife loved her so much why did she stay with me and having sex with me. She responded with "she stayed because she was scared of dissapointing her family and her children. When she was ****ing you she was thinking of me so I wouldnt feel so proud" I was speechless and so was everyone in the room. Even my wife looked at me sympathetically.

 

I was done at that point. This woman is a complete bitch and my wife left me for that. I asked for time alone with my wife and they all left. I asked her why she was with such a horrible woman she told me that she is usually a "sweetheart" and that I pushed her. She also told me that she was serious about the divorce and she thinks that we should have the same amount of time given to have the children. I asked her if she was planning on letting the children see Veronica and she said "of course" (wtf) I asked her if she loved Veronica so much why is she staying in a hotel. She told me that she needed to be alone for a little while and she will be moving in with Veronica the next day and she wants the kids to visit them on the weekend until they get this settled and then we can find out how we will arrange custody and what not.

 

I am so angry and upset. I had no idea that it was this serious and I'll probably never have her back again. My friends will laugh at me and my father will be so ashamed. I still don't want my kids around that bitch. Is there any way I can stop them from seeing her in the long haul?

 

I know you are hurting and I felt really bad for you, but after reading this I feel sorry for your wife! I'm not saying her cheating was justified, it wasn't. But even you, in a fit of rage, should be taken aback by what you learned last night. You ambushed these women under false pretenses with the intent to hurt, embarrass and shame them. Congratulations, you accomplished ambushing them, more importantly tho, I hope you realize that your wife has lived a life of COERCED behavior to please her parents. They are just as much, if not moreso, responsible. Years of therapy to "FIX" her?? Her parents didn't accept her natural inclination and shamed her into a traditional lifestyle so they wouldn't be ashamed, embarrassed. Remember, "she stayed because she was afraid of disappointing her family."

 

I don't think your wife would have ever reconciled her relationship with you, but if there was ever a chance before, there isn't now. The way you went about this invitation to "talk" proves you are manipulative and your actions were with malicious intent. Your wife and Veronica's instincts to not trust you were spot on.

 

Veronica is being labeled a child molester because of her sexuality. That is not only sad, it's pathetic. The children are telling you they love Veronica, she is nice to them, treats them well...where is there an ounce of molestation indication? This makes my blood boil. Calling Veronica a child molester is false accusation.

 

The woman, Veronica, is not a complete bitch. You said you intentionally pushed her buttons so she retaliated. I wouldn't let someone push me up against a wall and not fight back, would you?

 

Your wife stayed in a hotel to try sorting her feelings without ANY outside influences, which was smart. You'll never have her back again because she doesn't want to come back.

 

Now your friends will laugh, your father will be ashamed. Everyone is still more concerned about outward appearances, including your wife's mother and father. Seems to me Veronica is the only one who has taken a step back, supported your wife's decisions to stay in a hotel and gather her thoughts and acknowledge her true feelings, to allow her to decide what is best for her...not everyone else.

 

I hate that you are in pain and have been deceived. But this is not solely your wife's fault. Her parents pushed this lifestyle on her. And this is the aftermath of people not being able to accept one another for who they are...lots of pain and resentment because eventually natural inclination wins. This whole situation is SAD.

Edited March 27, 2015 by Methodical

[Rainbowlove]

Update.

 

I had a conversation with my wife and Veronica late last night. I invited both of them over to my house while the kids were sleeping over of my parents. They said no at first because the didn't trust me (what am I going to do?) but they eventually came and I sort of ambushed them with my wife's parents. I didn't tell them that my wife cheated with a woman but they kind of figured it out when they saw the two lovebirds holding hands Iin the driveway.

 

My wife completely freaked out about her parents after being there and they started having a screaming match. They told her she was making a mistake and that she was not actually in love with Veronica. What really caught my attention was when her mom said "not this again", I asked her what she meant by that and everyone calmed down to talk. Apparently my wife has been with girls before but her mom put her in "therapy" to "cure" her. My wife told me she was sorry and she thought she got over her attraction to women after years of therapy until she met Veronica.

 

Veronica was quiet for the majority of the conversation until I brought up her seeing my kids behind my back. She said that she has "bonded" with the children and wants to continue seeing them eventually. My wife's mother didn't take that comment very well and started calling her a child molester, then her and my wife started arguing again. Veronica, my wife's dad and I just sat there waiting for them to cool down and when they we continued our conversation.

 

I asked them how long it was going on for. They said 2 years! This made me angry so I decided to push Veronica's buttons. I asked her how she felt about her "girlfriend" having sex with me while they were together. She said, "How do you feel about your wife sleeping with me behind your back? I was fully aware of your relationship, there are no lies between us. I was free to sleep with other women if I pleased, Your wife knew how unfair this relationship was on me but I didn't sleep with anyone I love your wife " I wanted to start punching walls at this point but I kept my cool. I asked her if my wife loved her so much why did she stay with me and having sex with me. She responded with "she stayed because she was scared of dissapointing her family and her children. When she was ****ing you she was thinking of me so I wouldnt feel so proud" I was speechless and so was everyone in the room. Even my wife looked at me sympathetically.

 

I was done at that point. This woman is a complete bitch and my wife left me for that. I asked for time alone with my wife and they all left. I asked her why she was with such a horrible woman she told me that she is usually a "sweetheart" and that I pushed her. She also told me that she was serious about the divorce and she thinks that we should have the same amount of time given to have the children. I asked her if she was planning on letting the children see Veronica and she said "of course" (wtf) I asked her if she loved Veronica so much why is she staying in a hotel. She told me that she needed to be alone for a little while and she will be moving in with Veronica the next day and she wants the kids to visit them on the weekend until they get this settled and then we can find out how we will arrange custody and what not.

 

I am so angry and upset. I had no idea that it was this serious and I'll probably never have her back again. My friends will laugh at me and my father will be so ashamed. I still don't want my kids around that bitch. Is there any way I can stop them from seeing her in the long haul?

 

Your wife is a lesbian.

 

Your marriage is over.

 

You are not the first man to have his wife turn to the dark side.

 

You won't be the last.

 

There are support groups out there for you.

 

Straight Spouse Network |

 

Despite your disapproval, Veronica and your wife will be a part of your children's lives. You'll need to come to terms with this and hopefully find a way to heal for your kids sake.

 

Your wife has been closeted by homophobic parents who used horrible methods to try to change who she is and all it did was set up her life to live a lie and you got caught in it.

 

Focus now on closing the door to your marriage and letting her go freely.

 

Best of luck to you.

 

RL (your friendly forum lesbian)

[SycamoreCircle]

Any friend that laughs at you has never had anything serious and life changing happen to them and isn't your friend.

 

Your wife may or may not be a closeted homosexual. Sexuality is a fluid thing; it changes over one's life. It also defines itself in shades.

 

Yes, Veronica sounds like a b;tch, but your wife is a part of this, too. Her poor grapple on her own identity, her own sense of self is just as much to blame for this whole mess.

 

As another poster pointed out, your prime concern here on out needs to be your children. Yes, you are a victim. I'm sorry for your pain. I hope that one day you can get past this betrayal, leave the scar tissue behind and rebuild this part of your life. For now, focus on those children who are even more defenseless victims in this terrible unfolding of events. Let all the anger and hate you have be channeled into efforts to make this unwanted transition easier for them. Allow that anger to be turned into works of love for your children. They will get you through this.

[fellini]

A lot of ugly sh-t has hit the fan.

 

If you want to blame, blame her parents who screwed up her life, made her turn her back on her essence, and allowed you to be the pawn in their game to have a penis "straighten" out their daughter. they knew about this before even she did, making her feel her orientations to women were a defect in her.

 

They sat silently at the church while you exchanged vows thinking they had accomplished their goal.

 

Your wife has not turned to the dark side as per the previous poster: she is finally free.

 

Now to clean up the fallout.

[Rainbowlove]

Your wife has not turned to the dark side as per the previous poster: she is finally free.

 

I was being sarcastic.

 

I agree with everything you've said about her parents awful reaction to her lesbianism.

 

It happens all too often unfortunately.

[autumnnight]

y are we talking about the pain of lesbians on a BH's thread? His wife cheated on him.

[jen1447]

I'm holding my tongue since the OP is the aggrieved in this thread, but there's so much to find offensive about the update. Undoubtedly this outcome is actually for the best, given all that's come to light.

 

On the custody thing, the only way Veronica would be barred from seeing the children in a custody agreement is if you could present significant tangible evidence that she was a threat to them. Not only does there seem to be none of that, it sounds like she's actually a positive influence in their lives.

[autumnnight]

A lot of ugly sh-t has hit the fan.

 

If you want to blame, blame her parents who screwed up her life, made her turn her back on her essence, and allowed you to be the pawn in their game to have a penis "straighten" out their daughter. they knew about this before even she did, making her feel her orientations to women were a defect in her.

 

They sat silently at the church while you exchanged vows thinking they had accomplished their goal.

 

Your wife has not turned to the dark side as per the previous poster: she is finally free.

 

Now to clean up the fallout.

 

How would you have felt as a BH when you first came here if someone had told you your wife was finally free?

 

This is not a gay rights thread.

 

OP, do you have compassionate, empathetic people you can talk to who won't be sidetracked by a PC agenda?

[Rainbowlove]

y are we talking about the pain of lesbians on a BH's thread? His wife cheated on him.

 

Because if her parents would have embraced their lesbian daughter instead of shaming her and putting her through "conversion therapy" she would more than likely never have married the OP.

 

Instead, they tried to "change" her sexual orientation, which clearly failed.

 

Many, many Late Blooming lesbians end up having affairs on their husbands.

 

I'm not saying it's right, but it happens quite a lot.

 

The best thing this man can do is let his wife free and get himself into some kind of group therapy himself.

 

His marriage is over.