Why do so many older men think younger women want them?

[xxoo]

 

As for the ladies who are offended when older men hit on them, they need to learn to take the good with the bad. I know, when women put on their best outfit and hit the town hoping to have some hot guy their own age hit on them, they get angry when someone they are not attracted to has the gall to try and talk to them. Just part of the game. Sometimes it will be that hot guy you have your eye on, and other times it will be some older guy that you find disgusting. I have had women hit on me that I thought were gross, but I did not make threads on LS about how disgusting they are just by thinking they have the right to hit on me.

 

I've got the perspective of 20s, 30s, and now 40s. In my 20s, I worked in the front desk of a professional office. I got flirted with inappropriately by older clientele, as well as professional colleagues of my boss, on a regular basis. And I was married. I was wearing scrubs, no makeup, and a pony tail most days; nothing even remotely "hot".

 

Now that I'm in my 40s, I don't feel any less attractive, but I feel that I get a lot more respect at work and in the community. It's a good thing.

 

I've never been the type to try to get attention from hot guys, so there was no good to take with the bad when I was in my 20s.

[carhill]

I'm watching the trailer right now on TCM for 'Three Guys Named Mike' (1951) where three men vie for the attentions of a flight attendant played by Jane Wyman (1917). The 'Mikes' are Van Johnson (1916), Howard Keel (1919) and Barry Sullivan (1912).

 

In real life, the vivacious Jane married three times and, indeed, her second husband, our president Ronald Reagan, was six years older, born in 1911.

 

I happened to stop the film playback where Barry and Van are fighting it out in a tug of war over who's going to get Jane and that underscores another classic 'message', that men are to fight over women, both for their favor and against other males. Interesting how messages work.

 

Well, anyway, IDK if five years older (Barry in the movie) would have made Jane a younger woman whom the two older men in the movie thought wanted them but IME, having had parents from that era, what was depicted on the screen was pretty consistent with their real life. Men often married women a bit younger but not that much; classically when the guy was 20-22 or so and the girl was 17 or 18. Guy gets out in the world, makes a name for himself, gathers some assets and security then looks for a virginal bride to marry.

 

In a complete coincidence, the trailer just prior to this one included a young actress by the name of Nancy Davis (1921), who would marry the same Ronald Reagan, though ten years her senior, in 1952 and would remain with him until his death 52 years later, becoming one of those spouses I saw at the Alzheimer's facilities, taking care of her spouse even though he didn't recognize her anymore.

 

Perhaps they were simply living life instead of analyzing it, IDK. Back to the movie.

[RedRobin]

Women are upset by men dating younger women for obvious reasons, they don't like the idea of being replaced for a newer model as they age. .

 

 

If it suits your ego to believe that, then go ahead. I've never fought over a man and never will.

 

 

I have a very attractive niece... I'd prefer she doesn't have to go through what I did and still do from selfish, supposedly 'older' men who should know better.

 

 

yes, I get it that altruism isn't something that comes naturally to men who make a habit of chasing much younger women. They naturally assume everyone is as selfish as they are.

[autumnnight]

If it suits your ego to believe that, then go ahead. I've never fought over a man and never will.

 

 

I have a very attractive niece... I'd prefer she doesn't have to go through what I did and still do from selfish, supposedly 'older' men who should know better.

 

 

yes, I get it that altruism isn't something that comes naturally to men who make a habit of chasing much younger women. They naturally assume everyone is as selfish as they are.

 

I have to ask....are you aware of how rude and condescending your posts are, or is it an accident. Why do you care what other adult women do? Are you capable of disagreeing without being cutting?

[xxoo]

Women are upset by men dating younger women for obvious reasons, they don't like the idea of being replaced for a newer model as they age.

 

This is maybe the most obvious reason for a woman of any age not to be with a man who prefers younger women.

[RedRobin]

I think you care waaaaay too much about movies. Movies are meant to be fantasy. In that Tom Cruise movie that came out a couple years ago, he was paired up with a much younger, and very sexy Emily Blunt. Probably irks you, right? Well, that movie also involved a guy that was reborn each time he died, and was able to save the world from aliens. All of that fantasy of OK, but him dating a woman much younger needs to change! I'm with you!

 

I think women in general care too much about the media. It's not like I have ever watched a movie and thought that I should start to hit on young girls because Tom Cruise bangs them in his movies.

 

 

Actually, I care a lot about what mass media, in general, is pitching to people. Especially people I care about. Consider it a hobby of mine.

 

 

I like Emily Blunt. I didn't see that movie, but if I did, I'm sure I'd be thinking... why is she selling herself short with that douchebag Tom Cruise? Certainly not "oh, you lucky girl you!"

 

 

... as for women caring too much about media... well, there have been plenty of studies to show that people ARE influenced by what they watch. Sure, maybe watching horror movies isn't necessarily going to make anyone into a serial killer, and watching movies with older men/younger women isn't going to convince anyone to go rush off to the senior citizens home to pick up a date... but it desensitizes people over time.

Edited March 31, 2015 by RedRobin

[elaine567]

Leading Men Age, But Their Love Interests Don?t -- Vulture

[StanMusial]

I don't think anyone likes to feel marginalized or even discarded for any reason, whether it be age or any other. I can sympathize to a degree depending on the situation.

 

I don't really care if some older woman hits on me, it has happened in the past and I just played it off. I don't care. For some people I guess it really ticks them off though. I do remember one guy I used to hang out with sometimes, he would get physically angry if a girl over 30 tried to talk to him. It was weird almost.

[Robert Z]

This is maybe the most obvious reason for a woman of any age not to be with a man who prefers younger women.

 

Plenty of men marry younger women and stay married.

[RedRobin]

I have to ask....are you aware of how rude and condescending your posts are, or is it an accident. Why do you care what other adult women do? Are you capable of disagreeing without being cutting?

 

 

Why do I care what other adult women do?

 

 

I dunno. Why do I care about anyone who does something that is so obviously against their best interests?

 

 

Sure, if you want to screw yourself over (as a woman) I guess you should have the right to do that without any so-called 'rude, condescending' people speaking up.

 

 

Hey, at least they can't say they weren't warned. *shrug*.

[Robert Z]

I have to ask....are you aware of how rude and condescending your posts are, or is it an accident. Why do you care what other adult women do? Are you capable of disagreeing without being cutting?

 

 

And yet, when an older woman sees a younger man, "you go girl!"

[xxoo]

Plenty of men marry younger women and stay married.

 

What happens when the 25 year old turns 40? They stay married, but does he stay attracted? Or is he still preferring 25 year old bodies?

[Robert Z]

Why do I care what other adult women do?

 

 

I dunno. Why do I care about anyone who does something that is so obviously against their best interests?

 

Ah, so you have all the answers to other people's happiness. Yet you are obviously miserable and bitter.

[autumnnight]

Why do I care what other adult women do?

 

 

I dunno. Why do I care about anyone who does something that is so obviously against their best interests?

 

 

Sure, if you want to screw yourself over (as a woman) I guess you should have the right to do that without any so-called 'rude, condescending' people speaking up.

 

 

Hey, at least they can't say they weren't warned. *shrug*.

 

This is the arrogance I mean. With respect, you don't KNOW what is in every other woman's best interest.

[Robert Z]

This is the arrogance I mean. With respect, you don't KNOW what is in every other woman's best interest.

 

 

My cousin married a man over 20 years older than her and they've been together for almost 20 years now. And they still seem to have a great marriage. They travel all the time.

[loveweary11]

What happens when the 25 year old turns 40? They stay married, but does he stay attracted? Or is he still preferring 25 year old bodies?

 

We stay attracted because we are also older by the same number of years.

 

Our interest doesn't stay at a fixed number.

 

My ex wife is now 32. I'd have stuck with her as long as we were both alive, had things turned out differently.

 

Love becomes attraction and attraction becomes love. When you are with someone, you are with someone. You aren't looking at anyone else.

 

At least that's how it works for this guy.

[RedRobin]

And yet, when an older woman sees a younger man, "you go girl!"

 

 

Show me an example. Has never come from me.

[RedRobin]

Ah, so you have all the answers to other people's happiness. Yet you are obviously miserable and bitter.

 

 

Um. Hardly.

 

 

My current boyfriend is my age exactly. A world class athletic competitor. A valued educator... and sweetheart too.

[Anela]

I am not bent out of shape about that at all ever, but we do read stuff on this place that say things like women lose our "marketability" and older women need to take whatever they can get manwise and I think that is where a lot of this is coming from don't you??:confused:

 

And the young women who are worshipped at the moment, will be treated the same way in ten or more years.

 

I had no problem with my sister marrying an older man, as long as she was happy (and kept the lecherous ass away from me). Dad doesn't like him, and Mum hasn't been thrilled with him at times, either - especially when he kept hitting on me, hurting my sister, and causing trouble between us.

[elaine567]

I think there is a big problem here, when anyone who is merely questioning societal "norms" as regards women, is being labelled as rude, miserable and bitter.

Ageism aimed against women in the media and elsewhere, is a huge issue for all women.

[Anela]

Don't believe any of that crap for a second. Older women are fantastic. If God forbid something happened to my wife or my marriage, I wouldn't be giving younger women a second glance.

 

I've been dreading my 40th birthday for a few reasons, but I'm glad that men like you are out there. This place can feel like the Twilight Zone. It's only really bothered me when I bump into the same attitudes away from the board. Not just regarding age, but everything else.

[Woggle]

Show me an example. Has never come from me.

 

Maybe not from you but I hear many you go girl kind of comments about Jennifer Lopez, Madonna and Susan Sarandon from women and these are the same women who get all bent out of shape over men dating younger women. I don't care what these famous do and who they date but don't be a hypocrite about it.

[autumnnight]

I think there is a big problem here, when anyone who is merely questioning societal "norms" as regards women, is being labelled as rude, miserable and bitter.

Ageism aimed against women in the media and elsewhere, is a huge issue for all women.

 

 

It is not rude to disagree with someone else's choices. It is rude and arrogant to imply that all cases of said choice are wrong, that all women who make this choice are somehow ignorant or deluded or broken, and that all men who make this choice are leches. The sweeping remarks made on behalf of entire genders are, in fact, rude and ignorant.

 

Disagree with me all you want. Don't presume to tell me that because you feel X way everyone else should or they are somehow damaged. THAT is rude and uncalled for.

 

period.

 

I am a mature, educated, strong, professional woman, and I am sick and tired of a particular fringe of feminism trying to tell me how I should think or rescue me from myself.

[Anela]

It is not rude to disagree with someone else's choices. It is rude and arrogant to imply that all cases of said choice are wrong, that all women who make this choice are somehow ignorant or deluded or broken, and that all men who make this choice are leches. The sweeping remarks made on behalf of entire genders are, in fact, rude and ignorant.

 

Disagree with me all you want. Don't presume to tell me that because you feel X way everyone else should or they are somehow damaged. THAT is rude and uncalled for.

 

period.

 

I am a mature, educated, strong, professional woman, and I am sick and tired of a particular fringe of feminism trying to tell me how I should think or rescue me from myself.

 

My sister's husband hit on me several times. He told my mother that he was in love with me (and then blamed it on alcohol and food poisoning). He did this whenever he was around me - either under the same roof, or a few months later (one time when he was here for Christmas - he was always here for a month or two, because he's from Canada). A few years ago, not long before their wedding, he told me that he thought I was amazingly sexy - not what I want to be hearing from the man who is marrying my sister!

[autumnnight]

My sister's husband hit on me several times. He told my mother that he was in love with me (and then blamed it on alcohol and food poisoning). He did this whenever he was around me - either under the same roof, or a few months later (one time when he was here for Christmas - he was always here for a month or two, because he's from Canada). A few years ago, not long before their wedding, he told me that he thought I was amazingly sexy - not what I want to be hearing from the man who is marrying my sister!

 

Terrible story. Has nothing to do with all young women and all older men. Completely irrelevant.