Why do so many older men think younger women want them?

April 1, 2015

We stay attracted because we are also older by the same number of years.

Our interest doesn't stay at a fixed number.

My ex wife is now 32. I'd have stuck with her as long as we were both alive, had things turned out differently.

Love becomes attraction and attraction becomes love. When you are with someone, you are with someone. You aren't looking at anyone else.

At least that's how it works for this guy.

I'm glad that's how it works for you. I know that's how it works for me, and for my partner.

But whenever I've been hit on by a much older man, that's been my reaction, especially if he's the type of guy who disparages women who are his own age, and makes a big deal about my age. I've always thought, How would anyone ever feel safe aging around you?

April 1, 2015

I am a mature, educated, strong, professional woman, and I am sick and tired of a particular fringe of feminism trying to tell me how I should think or rescue me from myself.

I do not particularly care what you think, you are entitled to your opinion, but I do care about how society treats women.

April 1, 2015

Terrible story. Has nothing to do with all young women and all older men. Completely irrelevant.

Yeah that could happen no matter what age the guy is. That's just a douche being a douche.

My fiance is 11 years younger than me. Did I have concerns? Yes, naturally. But I didn't automatically lump her in with any and every girl I ever met that was her age. She's sharp, she has her life and her friends and her business. She's not some helpless, indecisive, weak little creature that would be easy prey for some "lecherous old man" nor some flashy player to manipulate to their whims.

April 1, 2015

I do not particularly care what you think, you are entitled to your opinion, but I do care about how society treats women.

Society treats me and my women friends fine. Then again we aren't looking for insults.

April 1, 2015

Leading Men Age, But Their Love Interests Don?t -- Vulture

They are in the business to make money....I could give a shyt about Hollywood, but they obviously have a reason they do it...to be profitable and make money.....NOT make older women feel better about themselves(if that even bothers them:rolleyes:)...That's for them to deal with on their own personal level..,.

TFY

April 1, 2015

They are in the business to make money....I could give a shyt about Hollywood, but they obviously have a reason they do it...to be profitable and make money.....NOT make older women feel better about themselves(if that even bothers them:rolleyes:)...That's for them to deal with on their own personal level..,.

TFY

Actually, while I am an "older woman," I'm kind of glad that Hollywood does the Hollywood thing. I'd have to gag if we lived in a world where all media and entertainment became some socially responsible after school special.

Real life is serious enough. I don't go to the movies to learn some socially aware lesson. I go for overpriced, heart-clogging popcorn and some willing suspension of disbelief.

April 1, 2015

There's been a MASS of responses to this thread. I could see it coming. I can't really read or respond to every comment unfortunately. Haven't been able to get on LS over the weekend but damn this blew up!

One thing I will comment on is that certain men in their 30s have talked about the attention they get from younger women. Well in my initial post, I mentioned that men in their 30s are still attractive (in my opinion, the 30s is largely a mans peak age).

But 40, 50, 60 etc, interested in younger women is to me disgusting. I think many women think this way. Not many women are that interested in older men.

Of those that are, some are genuinely in love, others are looking for security/status/wealth but most women want a man their own age or a few years older.

Someone also commented that I'm angry but I think you may be attributing your own anger at my statement to me. I am not angry. Just generally baffled.

I think women age better than men. Have never understood why the reverse is thought to be true. I think women have more to offer as they age; they 'give' more.

Even attractive older men such as George Clooney or Brad Pitt. They were both still far hotter when younger. I'd take Fight Club Brad over present day Brad any day, although he is still a good looking man.

April 1, 2015

And for me, just to add a little personal background, I've been hit on by FAR older men since I was about 17.

A few incidences include:

* My maths tutor (I was 17), he was 55, making flirty comments to me and touching my leg. He was married. I told him not to touch me. I told my mother and we got rid of him asap (obviously he was of questionable moral character).

* My friend and I would always be hit on by considerably older guys when at bars. We were between 19-22 and these guys were probably 35-50. None were attractive.

* A stag party of 30-40 year olds tried to hit on my friend and I at 18. Not interested...especially as most were married.

* My friend and I were propositioned by a married man of 45 with a baby to have a threesome.

Now, I don't 'court' these men. I don't seek them out. I've said my age ratio is cut off around 35-36. I wouldn't date higher. That gets into creepy territory for me personally...

And most girls or women I speak to will have similar stories. So many women are hit on by far older men who really believe that these women want them; this includes married men and men with grown children.

It's a different story if two people fall for one another with an age gap. Although it's not my thing, love is love. But there are many men who just creep on younger women who have absolutely no interest in them. This is common. Not a modern phenomenon.

I went to work with my dad for a month at the age of 18 (my dad is in his 60s) and some of the workers joked, 'is that your new bit on the side?'.

He had to turn to them and say, 'that's my daughter.'

It's like many men feel entitled to younger women or really feel that they are desirable to younger women. It is the case for some people sometimes but largely it is not. As I said, most women would prefer someone their own age or slightly older. Where the case is a considerable age gap, a minority of cases are true love and most are status, money or wealth oriented.

Celebrities are a different matter entirely. Male celebs are wealthy and famous. Most of their partners are seeking money, security, prestige and a quick route to fame. Some are genuinely in love I'd wager.

Edited April 1, 2015 by Nikki Sahagin

April 1, 2015

I understand that we are all somewhat shaped by our own experience, but tact and maturity would seem to dictate that we, at some point, gain the intelligence and social grace NOT to condescend or try to stigmatize everyone whose experience or view doesn't fit our paradigm.

In other words, emotionally intelligent people don't talk down to or negatively categorize everyone who disagrees with them or try to make psychic judgments about how other people think.

April 1, 2015

I understand that we are all somewhat shaped by our own experience, but tact and maturity would seem to dictate that we, at some point, gain the intelligence and social grace NOT to condescend or try to stigmatize everyone whose experience or view doesn't fit our paradigm.

In other words, emotionally intelligent people don't talk down to or negatively categorize everyone who disagrees with them or try to make psychic judgments about how other people think.

Exactly. This world is a very diverse place with many different kinds of people in it. It is dumb to think everybody is a certain way.

April 1, 2015

Exactly. This world is a very diverse place with many different kinds of people in it. It is dumb to think everybody is a certain way.

I understand disagreement. I even understand "wow, I can't understand that view." But the whole "I am outraged, this is going to be spciety's doom unless I save them" thing kind of gives me a combination of a blown mind and a facepalm.

I care about people. I've just never been all that concerned that they ALLL think like I do or else they are in grave danger.

April 1, 2015

That's your opinion, Nikki. I'm early 30's, I get hit on by women in their 40's all the time and I don't think it's creepy. In fact I find them sexy. When I was 30 I dated a 43 and a 46 year old, no they weren't movie stars and I still found them very attractive.

Edited April 1, 2015 by jay1983

April 1, 2015

That's your opinion, Nikki. I'm early 30's, I get hit on by women in their 40's all the time and I don't think it's creepy. In fact I find them sexy. When I was 30 I dated a 43 and a 46 year old, no they weren't movie stars and I still found them very attractive.

But in your 30s, those women aren't so much older than you. It's similar to women in their 20s with men in their 30s so I think that's not such a considerable gap. Would you feel similarly if the women were in their 50s, 60s, 70s? (Just curious)

April 1, 2015

So you are saying that you feel younger people are more attractive, correct? To you, if you had the choice, you would rather date a younger version of Brad Pitt over his modern day self. Ok. I used to think Nicole Kidman was absolutely gorgeous. Now, not so much. Back when she did that movie Far and Away with Tom Cruise, she was almost otherworldly attractive. If an older guy has the option, he would probably rather date the younger Nicole over her modern self. Some older guys have the option to date younger women, and as you said yourself, younger people are more attractive.

Well I believe that most people would like to date close to their own age. My argument really is that an 18 or 20 year old girl would rather a man her own age than a man that's older.

I mean, as a 25 year old, I'd rather date Theo James than today's Brad Pitt. However, if I were in my 40s, 50s, I might be more attracted to Brad's maturity than Theo's youth although yes, I would still find the younger man more attractive physically.

April 1, 2015

Also, I'm not really just talking about consensual relationships between reciprocating adults. Of course, if a 20 year old woman makes a pass at an older man, perhaps she really does like him (perhaps not) and of course, this man will be flattered.

But when older man CREEP on younger women - this is my bigger issue. With men who believe they are gods gift and parade themselves around young women who really don't want them and perhaps find them a bit ridiculous.

It's also similar with some women but less so I think. I went to a bar once and a (i'd assume) 40 year old Asian woman was flirting with my 18 year old friend and grabbing his crotch and butt. He was horrified and said he found it really offputting; mostly her forward approach and the certainty she felt that he would go with her over someone his own age.

April 1, 2015

But in your 30s, those women aren't so much older than you. It's similar to women in their 20s with men in their 30s so I think that's not such a considerable gap. Would you feel similarly if the women were in their 50s, 60s, 70s? (Just curious)

30 year old man 43 and 46 year old woman is a pretty big gap. When I was in my 20's I found those same women attractive. Some 50 year olds are hot, not movie stars, I know a couple on this forum who are gorgeous.

The other day I was at specs and standing in line was a lady that had to be about 60. This was the nicest looking 60 year old I've ever seen. Not smoking hot in her prime, but man when 60 I'd love for my wife to look like that.

April 1, 2015

Well I believe that most people would like to date close to their own age. My argument really is that an 18 or 20 year old girl would rather a man her own age than a man that's older.

I mean, as a 25 year old, I'd rather date Theo James than today's Brad Pitt. However, if I were in my 40s, 50s, I might be more attracted to Brad's maturity than Theo's youth although yes, I would still find the younger man more attractive physically.

Well it's kinda like what TFY was saying. Someone who looks like Brad Pitt now, is still gonna get more and better looking 25 year old than I did when I was 25.

April 1, 2015

Men are supposed to be confident! When a man is not confident, the first thing women do is tell him to become so. Now, you are talking bad about confident men too.

I think a lot of men are coming to realize that we can't win so just do what we want.

April 1, 2015

Ageism aimed against women in the media and elsewhere, is a huge issue for all women.

Uhhh, so-called "age-ism" where it concerns sexual partnerships is quite legal, and were this the huge issue that you suggest (akin to racism, sex-ism, etc) then women would be organized and pro-active in their united efforts to create laws which render such practices illegal... and according to your tone and that of so many other women on this thread, those laws would easily be enacted given that there are more women than men.

So the question to you, then, is whyyyyyyyyyy aren't you making any concerted efforts toward outlawing such practices???

If you are unwilling or unable to do so, then what say you adapt to what IS legal and what IS fair until such time as you are inspired from within to help create the laws that you want, in order to replace those which have been prevalent for hundreds of years?

And when the only apparent solutions to your gripes is your own version of age-ism than you are at best, oxymoronic.

April 1, 2015

I do care about how society treats women.

No, clearly you don't, as you would otherwise be making an effort to do something about that for which you don't care.

Remind us again how many laws you've personally helped to pass which have altered guidelines for how society treats women:

April 1, 2015

No, clearly you don't, as you would otherwise be making an effort to do something about that for which you don't care.

Remind us again how many laws you've personally helped to pass which have altered guidelines for how society treats women:

Why the personal attack? There is this thing called voting, for one thing. Standing up for women personally, is another. It isn't all about being in a high-up position, or making miracles all by yourself.

If you want to go there: why do so many men want women to feel bad about themselves? Why do they want them to be miserable? Women who have done nothing to them. Why try to make them feel inferior, or scare them when it comes to their prospects, dating and otherwise?

April 1, 2015

Its a proven fact that the aspect of nesting is an important part of being an adult woman...there isn't anything wrong with it!!..Its just human nature...If you want to argue to the contrary, what can I tell you?? (shrug)

TFY

Does it ever occur to you that it might be more likely that I, the girl who is engaged to be married, might have a valid point of view? Maybe some people women even feel more cared for and safe with a man they really connect with than one who can buy them stuff??

April 1, 2015

What happens when the 25 year old turns 40? They stay married, but does he stay attracted? Or is he still preferring 25 year old bodies?

Yeh when I read words like "trade her in for a newer model" that gives me a little concern about men who actively seek out younger women!! Whatever floats everybody's boat though!! But I have to say that among my friends going out with literally OLD guy would never happen!

April 1, 2015

And for me, just to add a little personal background, I've been hit on by FAR older men since I was about 17.

A few incidences include:

* My maths tutor (I was 17), he was 55, making flirty comments to me and touching my leg. He was married. I told him not to touch me. I told my mother and we got rid of him asap (obviously he was of questionable moral character).

* My friend and I would always be hit on by considerably older guys when at bars. We were between 19-22 and these guys were probably 35-50. None were attractive.

* A stag party of 30-40 year olds tried to hit on my friend and I at 18. Not interested...especially as most were married.

* My friend and I were propositioned by a married man of 45 with a baby to have a threesome.

Now, I don't 'court' these men. I don't seek them out. I've said my age ratio is cut off around 35-36. I wouldn't date higher. That gets into creepy territory for me personally...

And most girls or women I speak to will have similar stories. So many women are hit on by far older men who really believe that these women want them; this includes married men and men with grown children.

It's a different story if two people fall for one another with an age gap. Although it's not my thing, love is love. But there are many men who just creep on younger women who have absolutely no interest in them. This is common. Not a modern phenomenon.

I went to work with my dad for a month at the age of 18 (my dad is in his 60s) and some of the workers joked, 'is that your new bit on the side?'.

He had to turn to them and say, 'that's my daughter.'

It's like many men feel entitled to younger women or really feel that they are desirable to younger women. It is the case for some people sometimes but largely it is not. As I said, most women would prefer someone their own age or slightly older. Where the case is a considerable age gap, a minority of cases are true love and most are status, money or wealth oriented.

Celebrities are a different matter entirely. Male celebs are wealthy and famous. Most of their partners are seeking money, security, prestige and a quick route to fame. Some are genuinely in love I'd wager.

It's funny how women think this is an exclusive situation or experience only reserved to women.

I can easily conjure up a list of incidents that made me feel uncomfortable and to the point of feeling like I've been molested or violated.

I've been experiencing groping, sexual innuendos, and other uncomfortable behavior by much older women since I was a kid...I'm not even going to go into detail.

You don't see me writing some ridiculous thread that's a spin off from another thread just to be an attention whore and get another chance to express yourself and make sure people listen to you.

The truth is you think it's all personal, you think you're some kind of irresistible object and desire for men and you want to gripe about it and act like these men are entitled when you're the damn entitled princess and think nobody has a right to desire you unless you feel so and desire the other man in return...It's typical selective "I only want the attention where I want it, when I want it, and who I want it from"...You've got some kind of ego problem and think you're some kind of gift to men.

It's not even about YOU as a woman...chop your head off and put a young body and men will still look at your butterface...you're not special, you're not too good, you don't have this exceptional right in life to control what other people like and desire.

You know what I did with my experiences? I brushed them off and let it go, I accepted that it happened and although at times it made me extremely uncomfortable it doesn't make me feel like it was something I couldn't handle and need to blame all women for because a lot of other men didn't do what they did and I acknowledged that, the majority did nothing to me that was wrong.

So...so freaking what you got hit on at a bar in a guy much older than you...cry me a river, is it really that bad and life changing of an experience that you have to list every little infraction? Do you really think it's that personal?

This whole damn feminist crap has to equality into a phase of absolute and complete entitlement, where if someone so much as looks at you in the wrong way, you have a right to throw a fit and cause a storm over it.

Men and women desire young bodies, I can attest to that with a lot of personal experiences, just because you're a woman doesn't give you some damn right to not be looked on or so much as flirted or gestured in the wrong way. Yes, I think it can be gross and uncalled for, but you've really got to hold the responsibility to the individuals not the gender, I can assure you it works both ways...more than you'll ever know, it's just that women seen to fly under the radar and are taken as soft emotional creatures, while men are evil and pervy...far from the truth and stereotype your ideals wish to portray.

Look in the mirror if you want to see someone who's entitled.

April 1, 2015

I get hit by BBWs everywhere I go. Especially when I used dating sites. I mean a little extra is fine, but some of these women are 50lbs heavier than I. My friends have the same experiences. What makes these big women think they're entitled to fit men?

Can you imagine if a man made a thread like that?

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