Everyone is going to chew me up after this one...

[Simon Phoenix]

If she's with him why should I care? The moment she enters a new relationship she's absolutely dead to me, forever. I'm not friends with ANY of my exes, and I never will be, that's dumb.

 

I'm working a double and I don't have a break till 9. This site is ALL I have right now.

 

I agree you shouldn't be friends with an ex if you have romantic feelings. But punching people out is stupid. And go play solitaire on your computer or something, because you sound like a buffoon right now because you are posting from a completely irrational, illogical place.

[Jonp219]

I just deleted her number from my phone, hardest **** I ever had to do...

 

Once again, I'm an emotional mess.

 

Shes gone...

[Simon Phoenix]

I just deleted her number from my phone, hardest **** I ever had to do...

 

Once again, I'm an emotional mess.

 

Shes gone...

 

That's a good move, you finally made a step toward letting go. She's been gone, you are just starting to fully realize it. But ultimately, this is a good step for you, though it seems awful right now.

[Jonp219]

That's a good move, you finally made a step toward letting go. She's been gone, you are just starting to fully realize it. But ultimately, this is a good step for you, though it seems awful right now.

 

I feel like I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life...

[Simon Phoenix]

I feel like I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life...

 

That's a natural way to feel right now. But it doesn't have to be that way. The cliche' "what doesn't kill us will make us stronger" is a cliche' because it rings true. People don't learn things when everything is going awesome, the best life lessons usually come from pain and setbacks. Every relationship I've had that's died has made me a better person in time. I wouldn't be where I am right now (more financially secure, healthier -- I've lost roughly 50 pounds -- more confident) if I didn't go through the breakup that got me here. It allowed me to take inventory of my life. While I was doing OK in a lot of areas, there were areas I needed to improve, and I have and am continuing to do so. Not for her (she has no idea of any of the stuff I'm doing) but for me.

 

There's nothing wrong with making mistakes as long as you don't continuously make the same mistake. Mistakes are part of growing, and recognizing those mistakes and taking the steps to eliminating them are essential to your growth as a person. That takes time and energy, but you won't be able to make the step forward to do that until you let go of the past. You've taken the first step in doing that.

[Jonp219]

That's a natural way to feel right now. But it doesn't have to be that way. The cliche' "what doesn't kill us will make us stronger" is a cliche' because it rings true. People don't learn things when everything is going awesome, the best life lessons usually come from pain and setbacks. Every relationship I've had that's died has made me a better person in time. I wouldn't be where I am right now (more financially secure, healthier -- I've lost roughly 50 pounds -- more confident) if I didn't go through the breakup that got me here. It allowed me to take inventory of my life. While I was doing OK in a lot of areas, there were areas I needed to improve, and I have and am continuing to do so. Not for her (she has no idea of any of the stuff I'm doing) but for me.

 

There's nothing wrong with making mistakes as long as you don't continuously make the same mistake. Mistakes are part of growing, and recognizing those mistakes and taking the steps to eliminating them are essential to your growth as a person. That takes time and energy, but you won't be able to make the step forward to do that until you let go of the past. You've taken the first step in doing that.

 

I know, I know.

 

My mind is for some reason currently being clouded by vacations we've taken, events we've gone to, and restaurants we've eaten at. I don't know why this is hitting me at this instant, I wasn't thinking about this earlier. This is more painful because it's all happy memories with both of us smiling at each other. I feel like my heart has sunk into my abdomen and it'll never rise back up. It's almost as if my mind wants me to be torn apart at this moment. I think I've reached my threshold...

[BlackbirdSong]

Chalk it up to a bad day....i've been having a few in a row. Today being the worst.

 

It'll be better tomorrow. Then better than that on Monday. One step forward, two steps back, two steps forward. Eventually we'll come out ahead.

[Jonp219]

Chalk it up to a bad day....i've been having a few in a row. Today being the worst.

 

It'll be better tomorrow. Then better than that on Monday. One step forward, two steps back, two steps forward. Eventually we'll come out ahead.

 

I forgot what a normal good day feels like.

 

Soon I'm going to get to a point where I forget what the definition of the word "good" is too.

Edited March 29, 2015 by Jonp219

[dvx]

I know, I know.

 

My mind is for some reason currently being clouded by vacations we've taken, events we've gone to, and restaurants we've eaten at. I don't know why this is hitting me at this instant, I wasn't thinking about this earlier. This is more painful because it's all happy memories with both of us smiling at each other. I feel like my heart has sunk into my abdomen and it'll never rise back up. It's almost as if my mind wants me to be torn apart at this moment. I think I've reached my threshold...

 

Been through all of that with my ex ex. We were together 4 years. We did like 5 trips together, we were in Paris, London, Spain, Turkey and in Thailand together. We did everything together. She did leave me and i was in pain. I did NC on her and she came back after 2 months, unfortunately i screwed it up again after her second chance. Then i went back to feeling bad and suicidal.

 

Until one day last summer i met a new girl. This new girl was 10 times better then my ex ex. She took care of me better, she looked better, she had a better personality, more mature etc. She was a complete jackpot. I forget bout my ex after spending only 1 week with this new girl.

 

Unfortunately since I'm a ***** up dude i **** up with this new girl too 3 weeks ago and she left me for the exact same reasons my ex ex left me.

 

Now I'm struggling and hoping to get back this new girl but i must work on myself first, because i know i will f*** it up once again if this new girl takes me back too soon.

 

if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, It's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

[Jonp219]

Been through all of that with my ex ex. We were together 4 years. We did like 5 trips together, we were in Paris, London, Spain, Turkey and in Thailand together. We did everything together. She did leave me and i was in pain. I did NC on her and she came back after 2 months, unfortunately i screwed it up again after her second chance. Then i went back to feeling bad and suicidal.

 

Until one day last summer i met a new girl. This new girl was 10 times better then my ex ex. She took care of me better, she looked better, she had a better personality, more mature etc. She was a complete jackpot. I forget bout my ex after spending only 1 week with this new girl.

 

Unfortunately since I'm a ***** up dude i **** up with this new girl too 3 weeks ago and she left me for the exact same reasons my ex ex left me.

 

Now I'm struggling and hoping to get back this new girl but i must work on myself first, because i know i will f*** it up once again if this new girl takes me back too soon.

 

if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, It's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

 

If you don't mind me asking, what did you do to push these women away?

[dvx]

If you don't mind me asking, what did you do to push these women away?

 

My insecurity about myself that lead to jealousy. I accused them for stuff they didn't do, i was suspicious and questioning about everything and stuff like that. I must cure my jealousy disease asap or else i will be forever alone.

[Jonp219]

My insecurity about myself that lead to jealousy. I accused them for stuff they didn't do, i was suspicious and questioning about everything and stuff like that. I must cure my jealousy disease asap or else i will be forever alone.

 

Yeah, I think we're in the same boat lol

 

I have the same exact issue, except I also tend to get angry over anything.

[dvx]

Yeah, I think we're in the same boat lol

 

I have the same exact issue, except I also tend to get angry over anything.

 

I must say that time is not everything. Like i said i was together for more then 4 years with this first girl. And this new one only for 4 months. But i can safely say that i miss this new girl much more then i ever missed the last one, and i love this one much more. This new one just was the one, i know it and feel it. And the breakup was all my fault and i deserved it because she was the best and she definitely didn't deserve how i treated her sometimes.

 

I will forever hate myself for letting this girl go and i think i might never meet anyone like her again. But who knows. I can't kill myself. If i kill myself then it's definitely not bringing her back ever.

 

Right now I'm just laying in my bed each day thinking and hating myself, I'm on day 6 of NC. And listening to sad love songs. Here's one I'm currently listening to lol.

 

Anyways, feels good knowing I'm not the only one in the world going through this.

[Jonp219]

I must say that time is not everything. Like i said i was together for more then 4 years with this first girl. And this new one only for 4 months. But i can safely say that i miss this new girl much more then i ever missed the last one, and i love this one much more. This new one just was the one, i know it and feel it. And the breakup was all my fault and i deserved it because she was the best and she definitely didn't deserve how i treated her sometimes.

 

I will forever hate myself for letting this girl go and i think i might never meet anyone like her again. But who knows. I can't kill myself. If i kill myself then it's definitely not bringing her back ever.

 

Right now I'm just laying in my bed each day thinking and hating myself, I'm on day 6 of NC. And listening to sad love songs. Here's one I'm currently listening to lol.

 

Anyways, feels good knowing I'm not the only one in the world going through this.

 

My friend I wish you luck with this new girl. But most of all, I hope you find a solution to your jealousy issues. Because at the end of the day that's going to be your catalyst to fixing future relationships.

 

I hope you don't kill yourself. Because if you do you'll never feel that happiness you felt with her again. And that happiness doesn't have to come from her, it could be sparked by a different young lady. There are many possibilities out there you just have to believe in yourself (I feel like such a hypocrite saying that).

 

Please try to lay off the sad love songs, they're only going to make you feel worst. I can't even listen to the song me and my ex used to listen to when we would fight. I think I'm going to need to revisit that in another year or so. Just listening to the regular pop songs on the radio make me think of my ex because we use to play the radio all time. Music is a huge stimulus for me, it creates too many emotions.

[dvx]

My friend I wish you luck with this new girl. But most of all, I hope you find a solution to your jealousy issues. Because at the end of the day that's going to be your catalyst to fixing future relationships.

 

I hope you don't kill yourself. Because if you do you'll never feel that happiness you felt with her again. And that happiness doesn't have to come from her, it could be sparked by a different young lady. There are many possibilities out there you just have to believe in yourself (I feel like such a hypocrite saying that).

 

Please try to lay off the sad love songs, they're only going to make you feel worst. I can't even listen to the song me and my ex used to listen to when we would fight. I think I'm going to need to revisit that in another year or so. Just listening to the regular pop songs on the radio make me think of my ex because we use to play the radio all time. Music is a huge stimulus for me, it creates too many emotions.

 

Yeah man, i've read this whole thread of yours and i definitely recognize myself in many of the things, denials and feelings you've expressed. Man the first days i stopped eating, i didn't take a shower for more then a week, i lost like 4-5 kilos of my weight in just 10 days. I stopped going to work, i haven't even called them back. I don't care about anything, nothing has any meaning without her.

 

But I'm glad i came here and took peoples advice, and slowly i have started gym-training again to build back my physique and my confidence back. Also I'm planing on taking some therapy sessions to resolve this jealousy issue of mine. Just basically working on myself. If she comes back it's a bonus, if not i must continue working on my self for the better. I even moved back to my old home town just to avoid visiting her home, begging her and seeing all the places we've been to and all the things we did together. Im back at square one in life but that's where i must start to find myself again.

 

Good luck to you too. Like 2pac would say, better days is coming homeboy, keep your head up!.

[Noproblem]

why you two broke up? What happened?

[Jonp219]

Yeah man, i've read this whole thread of yours and i definitely recognize myself in many of the things, denials and feelings you've expressed. Man the first days i stopped eating, i didn't take a shower for more then a week, i lost like 4-5 kilos of my weight in just 10 days. I stopped going to work, i haven't even called them back. I don't care about anything, nothing has any meaning without her.

 

But I'm glad i came here and took peoples advice, and slowly i have started gym-training again to build back my physique and my confidence back. Also I'm planing on taking some therapy sessions to resolve this jealousy issue of mine. Just basically working on myself. If she comes back it's a bonus, if not i must continue working on my self for the better. I even moved back to my old home town just to avoid visiting her home, begging her and seeing all the places we've been to and all the things we did together. Im back at square one in life but that's where i must start to find myself again.

 

Good luck to you too. Like 2pac would say, better days is coming homeboy, keep your head up!.

 

Yea me too. I lost 15 Lbs. the first 2 weeks, I didn't shower for 5 days, ate only 3 meals in 8 days, cried nonstop, and till this day I still have dreams/nightmares about her.

 

Currently, I just went back to the gym on Monday and I've been in therapy for my anger/insecurity issues since last month. Crazy, out of everyone here I think I relate to you the most lol.

[dvx]

Yea me too. I lost 15 Lbs. the first 2 weeks, I didn't shower for 5 days, ate only 3 meals in 8 days, cried nonstop, and till this day I still have dreams/nightmares about her.

 

Currently, I just went back to the gym on Monday and I've been in therapy for my anger/insecurity issues since last month. Crazy, out of everyone here I think I relate to you the most lol.

 

Man since that day 3 weeks ago i've been up until 5 am each night. When i finally succeed to fall in sleep i don't even feel like waking up. I stayed in bed until 5-6 pm the first 2 weeks. What's even more f**** up is she left me just a couple days before my 25th birthday. We had planned to spend and celebrate it together. Instead i spent my birthday alone crying parked near her home sitting in my car for hours. She didn't even wish me a simple H-B. I don't even wish that to the biggest enemy.

 

I just don't understand these women. Even though i did f*** up by not showing her full trust, she is acting like i've killed her mother or something. I wish it was just as easy as sitting down like 2 normal people and discussing and resolving the issue instead of her just leaving and breaking up and not even willing to fight for our sake.

 

Still today i drive out to the woods or somewhere quiet in the middle of the night and just sit in my car for hours and thinking and wishing my phone would ring with her call or text but I'm pretty sure that won't happen in this case, this girl is much smarter and more experienced and older then the last one i had. This one is turning 30 and i know when she has made up her mind once, its forever.

 

Summer is near and all i can think about the good times i would've had with her and the 2 week trip that we planned to do together. Now that all of it is gone I'm all alone with my regrets. It feels like i have cancer and she is the only cure that could cure me.

[Jonp219]

Man since that day 3 weeks ago i've been up until 5 am each night. When i finally succeed to fall in sleep i don't even feel like waking up. I stayed in bed until 5-6 pm the first 2 weeks. What's even more f**** up is she left me just a couple days before my 25th birthday. We had planned to spend and celebrate it together. Instead i spent my birthday alone crying parked near her home sitting in my car for hours. She didn't even wish me a simple H-B. I don't even wish that to the biggest enemy.

 

I just don't understand these women. Even though i did f*** up by not showing her full trust, she is acting like i've killed her mother or something. I wish it was just as easy as sitting down like 2 normal people and discussing and resolving the issue instead of her just leaving and breaking up and not even willing to fight for our sake.

 

Still today i drive out to the woods or somewhere quiet in the middle of the night and just sit in my car for hours and thinking and wishing my phone would ring with her call or text but I'm pretty sure that won't happen in this case, this girl is much smarter and more experienced and older then the last one i had. This one is turning 30 and i know when she has made up her mind once, its forever.

 

Summer is near and all i can think about the good times i would've had with her and the 2 week trip that we planned to do together. Now that all of it is gone I'm all alone with my regrets. It feels like i have cancer and she is the only cure that could cure me.

 

Bro lol.

 

My girl left me on the 6th of February, 2 weeks before my 25th birthday lol. I missed Valentines Day with her, I missed my birthday with her, and our anniversary was on the 27th (of course, missed that too). February was a torturous month, but good thing the denial was stronger than the depression, because I would of probably done something crazy to myself.

 

My ex was the same way when we ended. You would swear that I ran over her dog and reversed the car just to make sure I hit him. She was very passive/agressive and she's been tweeting about us and the realtionship on her twitter since the break-up. She's immature as ****, only little girls do **** like that. She broke up with me on the phone she didn't even want to meet up with me. She said if we sat face-to-face, "feeling might rush back again". People say she was being logical, in my opinion she's a coward and she chickened out.

 

I hate when it gets warm outside, because we use to love chilling outside in the Spring/Summer. Now all I'm going to think about what she's doing, instead of enjoying the beautiful weather. I was planning on going to Montreal with her this summer, **** sucks bro.

[dvx]

Bro lol.

 

My girl left me on the 6th of February, 2 weeks before my 25th birthday lol. I missed Valentines Day with her, I missed my birthday with her, and our anniversary was on the 27th (of course, missed that too). February was a torturous month, but good thing the denial was stronger than the depression, because I would of probably done something crazy to myself.

 

My ex was the same way when we ended. You would swear that I ran over her dog and reversed the car just to make sure I hit him. She was very passive/agressive and she's been tweeting about us and the realtionship on her twitter since the break-up. She's immature as ****, only little girls do **** like that. She broke up with me on the phone she didn't even want to meet up with me. She said if we sat face-to-face, "feeling might rush back again". People say she was being logical, in my opinion she's a coward and she chickened out.

 

I hate when it gets warm outside, because we use to love chilling outside in the Spring/Summer. Now all I'm going to think about what she's doing, instead of enjoying the beautiful weather. I was planning on going to Montreal with her this summer, **** sucks bro.

 

Yeah it was the same with this one she didn't feel like we should meet and talk, since "there is nothing to talk about". But yet i did convince her to meet me and talk to me. But there was nothing i could say or do to change her mind. I spent several hours with her trying to beg, convince and apology. She was determined. Since that day i have not heard anything from her, not a single reply or reaction. She is stone cold and ignorant.

 

Thats why I'm in NC. Since there is nothing i can say or do, believe me i've tried everything. The only thing i haven't tried with her yet, is like i said NC. Just completely disappearing and i plan to do that as long as it takes. Let her go crazy wondering where is my little crying needy b***h. This is the only way i can regain her respect and attraction if ever possible. I regret i didn't go NC from the first day. But better late then never.

 

But one thing she left me wondering was the last time i saw her when she agreed we meet up one last time to talk was when we were entering the coffee shop where we sat and talked, before we walked in she said "if u make a scene in there, that will be the last time u see me" Im still left with that quote of her on my mind. Why would she say that if she doesn't plan on coming back sometime again? Anyways NC will reveal that.

[mightycpa]

But one thing she left me wondering was the last time i saw her when she agreed we meet up one last time to talk was when we were entering the coffee shop where we sat and talked, before we walked in she said "if u make a scene in there, that will be the last time u see me" Im still left with that quote of her on my mind. Why would she say that if she doesn't plan on coming back sometime again? Anyways NC will reveal that.

mightycpa will reveal all

 

 

I spent several hours with her trying to beg, convince and apology.

 

[dvx]

mightycpa will reveal all

 

 

 

 

Haha that Made me laugh. I Did the begging in the car though IF IT makes any difference haha. Still bad but well screw her. I regret the begging. Oh well. Some people make one misstake once and Learn from IT. Me i must make it several times. Lets hope ill make things right with the Third girl i meet

[NopeNah]

Haha that Made me laugh. I Did the begging in the car though IF IT makes any difference haha. Still bad but well screw her. I regret the begging. Oh well. Some people make one misstake once and Learn from IT. Me i must make it several times. Lets hope ill make things right with the Third girl i meet

 

Jesus! Leave her alone! You're on you're way to "That guy!"

[Jonp219]

Haha that Made me laugh. I Did the begging in the car though IF IT makes any difference haha. Still bad but well screw her. I regret the begging. Oh well. Some people make one misstake once and Learn from IT. Me i must make it several times. Lets hope ill make things right with the Third girl i meet

 

This is where our similarities stop, but if I had the chance I would of probably done the same thing man lol. Kinda wish I had the opportunity to talk to her, but eh what can you do.

Edited March 29, 2015 by Jonp219

[Jonp219]

Jesus, I hate waking up in the mornings. I miss the hell out of my ex this morning. I hate this feeling its hell of annoying and hurtful. I know I'm going to tear later on for no apparent reason. I feel like it's going to be one of those days again.