Sickofitall Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 Ok I need help. I have read other posts on here about husbands and Internet porn. I too have that problem. My husband lies and tells me he's working late then he's online for 2 hours looking at all kinds of porn sites. Most of them are fetish sites with "barely legal teens". He is also a big fat LIAR about money. I recently found out that he closed out an account for our son. When I asked why we got a notice about an early withdrawal penalty he said he called the bank and it was a "mistake". He also ALWAYS has money in a side pocket of his wallet even when he says he's broke! There are charges on his credit cards for porn sites and when I ask what the charge is for he says its his credit report. Now when we met I knew he was into porn and I have no problem with that. He has quite a collection of DVDs here at home. My problem is why does he lock up at work and then sit there for 2 or more hours and look at it? He's missing out on being with me and his son. He has no idea that I know any of this because I have not confronted him on it. I check his history and I know every site he's been to for the last month. I write them down and I keep a journal. Should I seek help first and then confront him? I really don't know what to do. I love him but right now I can't stand him! Help me please. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 Hm...this is a tough one. Are you sure he stays alone at work to watch porn? I understand it makes you think that he is not in love with you if he rather stays alone at work to watch porn than spend time with you and your son. I know nothing about addiction to porn, but in any case it's hard for me to comprehend it. I know how and why people become addicted to drugs, alcohol, food, cigarettes (although I've never tried drugs), but I can't see why someone would choose porn over real sex. He definitely lacks sexual excitement in his life. I don't understand why none of the wives who post about their husbands being addicted to porn say something about their sexual life. If you've gained a lot of weight, regularly refuse sex with your husband, fight a lot, etc. then I can see how he turned into a porn addict. If he lies about money, it means he's a liar, it's just that the money is the only field where he needs to lie. He might be lying to you about other things as well. You need to talk to him, but not confront him. You let it accumulate inside of you and then you will explode and you will both be guilty. Have you thought about marriage counseling? Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 I agree with Record, how do you know he is staying for 2 hours to look at porn? This is what you might could do. When you know its time for him to get off work, and he were to tell you he needs to stay later, go over to his work. Surprise him, see if he is looking at porn after work. You could make up an excuse and say you thought you would surprise him, if you do this pay attention to his reaction. Good luck. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sickofitall Posted April 13, 2005 Author Share Posted April 13, 2005 I am positive that he is at work alone because I have gone to the laundry mat next to his office. I have done the surprise visit and he didn't know I was there because the whole place is locked up. Even if he did know I was there he's got a great poker face. He could sell the bible to the devil. As for our sex life we have a pretty good one. He has ALWAYS had a voracious sexual appetite but lately it seems like I am doing all the asking. I will do almost anything he asks me to do. So its not lack of excitement. I have not gained weight since the day he met me so its not that (he has). We don't fight because he's never here and when he is he is sleeping. I know which web sites he goes to because we have AOL and they have an enhanced history and it shows the last 300 sites he's been to. I check it nightly. As for his lies. He's got no reason to lie especially about money. I never question him about it. When he tells me he needs to spend any money he goes into a long detailed explanation about it and I always tell him he doesn't need to explain what he's spending money on. I am not one to "toot my own horn" but ALL of his friends tell him he is so lucky to have a wife like me. I let him do whatever he wants while I stay at home with our son. I never get out of the house by myself and I am going nuts. I have suggested that we go out and do something just the two of us and that doesn't work either. He is not agreeable to counseling. I would go myself but we don't have the extra money for it. So where does that leave me? Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 You stated he feels the need to go into a long explaination about the money thing, must be because hes trying realy hard to convince you of what hes saying is true. You also said you had suggested the 2 of you going out together, and he doesn't want too. Does he say why he doesn't want too? Jade Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 AAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!!! WILL IT EVER END!? WHY DO THESE MEN PREFER PORN TO THEIR BEAUTIFUL WIVES!!!? WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THESE MEN!!? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 Originally posted by Sickofitall I know which web sites he goes to because we have AOL and they have an enhanced history and it shows the last 300 sites he's been to. I check it nightly. Too bad he doesn't know how to erase his browser tracks, or maybe he just doesn't care. A few months ago I had a job interview with a business that provided adult content for (of all things) cell phones. Originally, I was led to believe they offered other content along with limited amounts of adult material... boy, was I wrong. Adult entertainment was their primary source of income, and they were just about to expand into the hardcore genre, since they already had a market for it and just needed to finalize a deal with the studios. Their customers mostly came from Europe and Asia, but now they had their sites on the U.S. market, and the prospects for growth were great. Talk about walking into a mouse trap... I didn't take the job and am still collecting unemployment, but now I know what it's like from the other side of the fence. Online porn has certainly reached epidemic proportions... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sickofitall Posted April 13, 2005 Author Share Posted April 13, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Too bad he doesn't know how to erase his browser tracks, or maybe he just doesn't care. Online porn has certainly reached epidemic proportions... He doesn't even know that enhanced browsing is on. He would care if he knew about it. Why would you even say that to me. Would you rather I pull my hair out not knowing? Before I turned it on I had no clue what he was doing and I was physically ill not knowing. Porn in general has reached epidemic proportions! Some of it is just sick and disgusting. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 Why would you even say that to me. Would you rather I pull my hair out not knowing? Before I turned it on I had no clue what he was doing and I was physically ill not knowing. Just an observation, that's all. Nothing personal... I'm just a computer geek poking fun at the typical user. All those years of tech support have made me cynical. Link to post Share on other sites
Bballiwifey04 Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 I thought I was the only one!! My husband of 8 months looks at it, hides it, then lies about it when confronted!! Why do they do this? If they know it hurts our feelings so much, isn't it disrespectful to keep doing it? Link to post Share on other sites
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