Dont know what to do???

[lb]

My friend has been dating this married guy for almost a year now, and Ive been hanging with this guy for almost 6 months now, the problem is the guy Im hanging out with and like alot knows the married guy. So meaing if me and my friends all go out, and she invites the married guy, she tells me not to tell my guy because she doesnt want him (my guy) to know anything. So if I want my guy to come hang out with us, I cant because the married guy may or will show up. I dont think its fair at all, she knows nothing will ever come out of her and the married guy, and she knows since the day I met this guy, weve been talking every day, and we see each other when we can, and she knows how much I like him. I mean nothing may never come out with me and my guy but that shouldnt matter. My friends dont even consider my feelings.

 

Another Instance, in 2 weeks, me and my friends will be going away for the weekend, and the married guy is coming with us, everyone is inviting someone, but they have yet to ask me if Im bringing my guy. They are just assuming that I wont mention it to him, cause the married guy is coming. and I dont think thats fair. I know that my guy wont go, cause he has to work, but I wish there was a way for him to go. I know I should speak up, but I dont have the guts to. I hope I explained this well enough, Im I right to be feeling this way.

[Tony T]

I'd be mad as hell. Your "friend" (yeah, right) who is seeing this married guy has no consideration for you or your feelings whatsoever. The VERY LEAST she could do is alternate get-togethers so you could bring your boyfriend every other time and she could indulge in her adultery every other time.

 

Frankly, I think you ought to back off this whole scene and find another group of friends where your boyfriend is welcome. It is simply not fair to your boyfriend, if he has been good to you and you care for him, to expose him to this kind of crap. Furthermore, I think your life will be better served if you aren't around this sort of stuff either.

 

This girl who is seeing the married guy is no friend of yours at all. You will see this some day.

 

I don't think you ought to go along on this trip in two weeks. Remain back and be there for your guy when he gets off work. Go with him on a trip when he is able or gets vacation.

 

You have to be pretty hard up to hang out with friends under such circumstances. What this girl in the adulterous relationship is basically telling you is: that she counts and you don't; she is the boss and you aren't; what she wants she gets and you are dirt; she is better than you are so she gets to bring her married boyfriend and you can't bring your boyfriend; her feelings count and your's don't; etc. In other words, she is telling you if you don't like the fact that she's the one who counts in this deal, you can stick it.

 

I also think that all the others in this circle who would let this sort of thing happen to you without asserting themselves on how unfair and inconsiderate this is are just as slimy and low class as the girl with the married boyfriend.

 

If you decide you want to remain with this gang of sleeze bags, you ought to at least assert yourself and bring your guy anyway. Once you do, everything will be out in the open. If your guy is decent at all, he won't want to be a part of this anyway...and you shouldn't want a guy who endorses cheating.

 

If you have any class at all, you'll wipe all these people out of your life.

[lb]

My guy friend isnt stupid, he knows that there is something going on with her and the married guy, but I keep on covering up for her and the married guy. WHich I dont like to do, I dont like to lie. Ive since then stopped that, Last week, we were all supposed to go out and of course the married guy was supposed to tag along, and she told me not to tell my guy, I did tell him. He basically was pissed but said that he dont care what they do, its none of his buisness, he does think its wrong of what shes doing. I was considering not going away with my friends, but then I was going to go anyway, cause basically me and my guy arent in a committed relationship, I dont really consider him by boyfriend, but the point is I like and care for him alot and my friends no that.

I'd be mad as hell. Your "friend" (yeah, right) who is seeing this married guy has no consideration for you or your feelings whatsoever. The VERY LEAST she could do is alternate get-togethers so you could bring your boyfriend every other time and she could indulge in her adultery every other time. Frankly, I think you ought to back off this whole scene and find another group of friends where your boyfriend is welcome. It is simply not fair to your boyfriend, if he has been good to you and you care for him, to expose him to this kind of crap. Furthermore, I think your life will be better served if you aren't around this sort of stuff either. This girl who is seeing the married guy is no friend of yours at all. You will see this some day. I don't think you ought to go along on this trip in two weeks. Remain back and be there for your guy when he gets off work. Go with him on a trip when he is able or gets vacation. You have to be pretty hard up to hang out with friends under such circumstances. What this girl in the adulterous relationship is basically telling you is: that she counts and you don't; she is the boss and you aren't; what she wants she gets and you are dirt; she is better than you are so she gets to bring her married boyfriend and you can't bring your boyfriend; her feelings count and your's don't; etc. In other words, she is telling you if you don't like the fact that she's the one who counts in this deal, you can stick it. I also think that all the others in this circle who would let this sort of thing happen to you without asserting themselves on how unfair and inconsiderate this is are just as slimy and low class as the girl with the married boyfriend.

 

If you decide you want to remain with this gang of sleeze bags, you ought to at least assert yourself and bring your guy anyway. Once you do, everything will be out in the open. If your guy is decent at all, he won't want to be a part of this anyway...and you shouldn't want a guy who endorses cheating. If you have any class at all, you'll wipe all these people out of your life.

[Tony T]

This has got NOTHING to do with whether you are in a committed relationship or not. It has got all to do with the fact that your sleezebag friend who is seeing the married guy continues to tell you not to invite your guy friend along on outings.

 

Your second post indicates you are coming around on this. I still feel you are a lot better than this circle of friends you hang out with and I hope you see this and get away from them at some point. You deserve to surround yourself with much more thoughtful people.

 

I'm also glad you are seeing that concealing the truth to protect the misdeeds of others, aiding in the adulterous acivities of others, and keeping secrets is no way to live.

[lb]

Thank you for your response, I thought I was over reacting!!!!!!

This has got NOTHING to do with whether you are in a committed relationship or not. It has got all to do with the fact that your sleezebag friend who is seeing the married guy continues to tell you not to invite your guy friend along on outings. Your second post indicates you are coming around on this. I still feel you are a lot better than this circle of friends you hang out with and I hope you see this and get away from them at some point. You deserve to surround yourself with much more thoughtful people. I'm also glad you are seeing that concealing the truth to protect the misdeeds of others, aiding in the adulterous acivities of others, and keeping secrets is no way to live.

[Rachel]

Have you considered this fact?

 

It's possible that the guy that isn't quite your "boyfriend", but someone you really care about, and may have POTENTIAL "boyfriend" status, may think that you are similar to your friends(birds of the same flock), and dump you and move on to people with higher standards?

 

You are hanging our with two scumly people.

 

A man who is cheating on his wife.... no matter what he tells his girlfriend. I'm sure he says his wife is a ...itch.

 

And a marriage breaker. She may even break up YOUR marriage one day.'

 

Watch out. Get out of the way of these people. It may cost you YOUR relationship with this guy