pgirl9000 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 My husband has been very abusive past few months. He is very ill tempered most of the time, hurts me emotionally often. He has rarely shown love or care for me past 10 years. I have been seeing my coworker who is been behind me for past 4 months. He is also married with kids. We are physically attracted to each other and not trying to be emotionally close with each other. We kiss in the elevator often and make out in the car once or twice a month. It has not gone beyond that. Sometimes it becomes so unbearable for me, I wanted to punish my husband secretly with this affair. As per me, the amount of things he is putting me through, he deserves this. He has put me in a man's role making me work harder and earn more, while he is been in and out of jobs without any career improvement for his age and seniority. He never gets involved in any big decisions like buying a home, new car etc. and does not help me in these things. He does not buy any toys, clothes nor anything for me or kids in all these years. He does not get along with me, his mother or brother. I feel like I am stuck in hell. Only good thing is kids love him and he loves them. They can't go without him for even a day. This affair even though not right is giving me some kind of satisfaction that I am also getting back at him in someway. When I think clearly I don't really care about my coworker, but I consider him as a way to fuel my anger and depression and get back at my horrible husband.. He has not co-operated in any kind of marriage counseling. After the second or third time with the counselor, he starts saying he is not interested to come anymore. Please help me.. what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Is divorcing your husband not an option? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 If he is not willing to work on your issues then the best you can do is divorce and kick him out or leave. Cheating with a co worker is doomed and is extremely messy when it is all found out, your job may even be at risk. Your husband may get custody of your kids and he may get to stay in the marital home too. I know you are hungry for attention and the co worker gives you that and a feeling you are getting back at your husband, but this could all end up being very damaging for you and your kids here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pgirl9000 Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 Lately my coworker has been asking me to do blow job for him. It makes me very uncomfortable as I have never really done it. I keep telling him that i will not do it, but he keeps pushing me. It makes me feel sad that I have reduced myself to this, because of all this hurt and depression. I should find a different way of coping up with the pain, hurt and depression caused by my husband without reducing my standards or self-esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Lately my coworker has been asking me to do blow job for him. It makes me very uncomfortable as I have never really done it. I keep telling him that i will not do it, but he keeps pushing me. It makes me feel sad that I have reduced myself to this, because of all this hurt and depression. I should find a different way of coping up with the pain, hurt and depression caused by my husband without reducing my standards or self-esteem. Oh definitely. Get out of this relationship too, sexual acts should be by mutual consent. Is he blackmailing you, ie is he saying give him BJ or he will tell your husband? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 The only thing that will improve your life is to leave your husband and stop using and being used by your coworker. Do not give him a blow job if you don't want to. As a matter of fact leave him alone altogether. He is married and there is no future with him. You have to find the strength to leave your husband if you want to be happy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Posting multiple threads is only going to get you the same answers over and over. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 So between your first thread on Ninth of February and now what actions have you taken to end your marriage, come clean, and start being an honest person? I'll take a large wager that you have done Not...One...single...Thing...except feel sorry for yourself. Are you 16 years old or what, Lady? Seems to me from reading all of the threads you are simply fishing for the one person to come along and condone all of it so you can feel justified in you own mind regardless of what your home life is all about. You are responsible for Fifty Percent of your marriage. You are 100 percent responsible for how you cope with it by having an affair. That part is all on you. It was very telling when you post about wanting to punish your husband by having an affair. It leads me to believe that you would much rather see how far you can take this before the jig is up, and the excitement and rush you get by screwing around with another married man takes all precedent over the lives of children and the other man's wife, not least of all , your own husband. Have you prepared for when this all comes out, which it will, and you are left with nothing? Haven't thought about that yet, huh? Frankly, I think you are full of crap. Hopefully when you take your head out of your ass long enough to understand that you make everything all about you, instead of considering what your actions will be doing to people who lives will be shattered through no fault of their own, perhaps you will see that your current choices and living in Fantasy land will perhaps cost you your marriage, your job, and earn you nothing but contempt of countless people who will be affected by you boneheaded actions. But I doubt you will. It ill take a rock bottom dive for you to get it. I feel sorry for those that will have to suffer for the hand grenade you will eventually drop into their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 Are you aware that you are together with a MARRIED man - so you're taking part in the destruction of the lives of a wife and children? You put so much blame on your husband when you've stooped down to his level already, if not lower. You complain about an abusive husband but nonetheless cherish being used by another selfish person. Quit your affair, divorce your husband and lead your life like a responsible adult. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 29, 2015 Share Posted March 29, 2015 Have you stopped your affair yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pgirl9000 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 Have you stopped your affair yet? I have not yet, but I am heading towards that path. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pgirl9000 Posted March 29, 2015 Author Share Posted March 29, 2015 Oh definitely. Get out of this relationship too, sexual acts should be by mutual consent. Is he blackmailing you, ie is he saying give him BJ or he will tell your husband? He says in a way that the next time we meet discretely he wants a BJ. He is trying to put some pressure on me, but no blackmail. But I am not ready to give it to him even if that means not meeting him again. I feel like I need to avoid him personally and put some distance between me and him. Link to post Share on other sites
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