Jump to content

Why does he keep breaking no contact?


Recommended Posts

My serial cheater ex husband is still contacting me.

 

You'd think that since I've made no contact with him and respect his wishes to move on with his life, he'd do the same.

 

He sent me a email concerning our son who is dorming. Honestly, he could have found another way of getting this info to me instead of emailing me directly. We usually just speak thru the children, which is rare.

 

Im irritated.

 

Am I always going to have this because we have children? When does the contact end with exes?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Am I always going to have this because we have children? When does the contact end with exes?

 

As I'm sure you've already discovered, most WS's do what suits their needs with little regard for much else.

 

How old are your kids? Have you at least told the ex when and how you'd like to be contacted?

 

Mr. Lucky

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Tell him you want him to discuss this stuff through the child at uni. This child is nearly an adult and quite capable of making most of their decisions.

 

Tell him you would prefer emergency contact only.

 

I haven't spoken to my ex in 10 years. Our child is mid twenties, so I do know how to do it!

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Children are 25 and 21. I never told him I was going no contact, I just did it and it has been about a year. I don't ever respond ...that's been my pattern.

 

Before we split, he expressed that he wanted us to have a good relationship and he believed that it would actually improve. An improved relationship while still with his mistress and no apology from either of them. Wow!

 

Eviltwin, you sound like you've been very successful at nc. That's where I want to be!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Children are 25 and 21. I never told him I was going no contact, I just did it and it has been about a year. I don't ever respond ...that's been my pattern.

Me either, unless it is an emergency.

 

Before we split, he expressed that he wanted us to have a good relationship and he believed that it would actually improve. An improved relationship while still with his mistress and no apology from either of them. Wow!

 

Oblivious!

 

Eviltwin, you sound like you've been very successful at nc. That's where I want to be!

 

Yep, Eviltwin has the right idea and what I am going for. I have been fairly successful. Keep on ignoring him unless you have to.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Children are 25 and 21. I never told him I was going no contact, I just did it and it has been about a year. I don't ever respond ...that's been my pattern.

 

Before we split, he expressed that he wanted us to have a good relationship and he believed that it would actually improve. An improved relationship while still with his mistress and no apology from either of them. Wow!

 

Eviltwin, you sound like you've been very successful at nc. That's where I want to be!

 

Reset your boundaries. Since you never told him what your boundary was he's going to do whatever. At 25 and 21 there should be no reason to contact you unless there is an medical emergency, death or marriage. Tell him so in the most polite manner possible. Then stick with it.

 

My ex stated the same thing about having a good relationship. I too have received no apology and hold no hope in ever getting one. You're far from alone in that matter.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
I don't ever respond ...that's been my pattern.

 

Perfect. You could also change your number and e-mail address (and only give it out to people you know won't give it to him).

 

And don't fall for the "good friendship" crap. He needs a safe place when things go south with OW.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thanks Steen, DSP, and No Limit.

 

More ignoring from me. Hoping he'll eventually get tired of the no responses.

 

I don't want to change my number and email. That almost feels like I've joined the witness protection program....and I am not the one who should change my life. Besides, we still have a future financial arrangement so until that time, we still have to have some communication link. I just thought he'd not want to contact me frivolously.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, my ex-best friend called me every single day for a little over half a year and didn't get the message either until I accidentally picked up the phone and dismissed her with some poor excuse. Some people just won't understand.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Let's see if he starts to pick up on the ignoring pattern.

 

It's strange because our son had a car accident in early December and he didn't contact me. Found out a few days later directly from our son. To me, that would be a good reason to make contact, fair enough.

 

But at Christmas, he sends a gift. And now, email which could've been handled a different way.

 

No Limit, maybe that's whats going on here. Him having a safe place.

 

Slamming that door shut...watch the fingers!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

You should have send the gift to your ex's GF and told her "Here, I think my ex accidentally sent your gift to me". :laugh:

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Oh if only! What a sweet and hilarious moment that would be!

 

Thanks No Limit!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...