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please tell me if this is right


confused

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My boyfriend is an aviation student, he is about to get his private licence so he's been stidying hard. last wednesday he flew and was very happy at least that's what this girl who lives in the dorms with him told me. she is a co-worker and they live in the same building. she talks to me once in a while, i felt really angry at him because he did'nt tell me the same day that he flew. i didn't see him that day and i don't live in the dorms. he said we was going to tell me the next day, but this girl told me first and she said that they even went to eat supper and he paid for it! he explained to me that for him that flight was not that important and when he gets his private licence he will tell me. was i being a nag? is he right?

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I don't think you have cause to be angry necessarily but certainly hurt.

 

You don't know just how much this girl who told you about all this exagerated. Never base decisions on what other people tell you because it's not always completely accurate. She may have embellished the story a lot just to piss you off, people do that...why, I do not know.

 

If, in fact, he was very happy about his first flight and, in fact, went out and bought dinner for friends and didn't share all this with you, you have reason to be very hurt. It would seem to be a symptom of lack of thoughtfulness or just plain disrespect.

 

Of course, when you questioned him he had to minimize it. The only way you're going to know just how most guys react to their first flight is to call a flight school, talk to an instructor, and ask the question. I would think it would be a pretty exciting moment in the life of a student pilot.

 

In my opinion, this is certainly something he should have shared with you. On the other hand, maybe he felt you wouldn't be so interested...or maybe it was just an oversight in all the excitement. Are you very supportive and interested in the things he does? If so, then you should probably be kind of pissed.

 

These kinds of matters aren't always black and white. If you trust your guy, take his word for whatever happened and watch out for the next time.

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Tony,

 

thank you for responding. my boyfriend told me he loves me and he was very sorry. he said that for him this was another flight like he is used to do. he said he went out to eat because i wasn't there since i have a night class. also he said the excitement didn't last too much. i forgave him but i still get hurt for what happened.do i talk to him about this again or just forget it about it? i don't know what to do.

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If seems you have taken care of the matter with him...now forget it. You should have told him at the time you resolved this just how hurt you were. Saying any more now will not be appropriate.

 

It would seem that after his explanation, you wouldn't feel so bad. It seems sensible to me.

 

I would tell him next time he has a big event in his life like that you want to be included. But just work this in to a conversation sometime. Don't bring things you have already resolved back up again.

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