Can I reignite the flame while living with my now mostly platonic friend?

[M2155]

Hi virtual friends. I would love to know how you would handle this scenario if you were in my shoes. Thank you!

 

Met a guy ~1.5 years ago and we hit it off like wildfire! It felt like the real deal on so many levels but distance and personal situations just didn't allow it to become anything official. But we really liked each other, kept talking and eventually started seeing each other for fun, but never exclusively.

 

Things were fresh and exciting :love:and I was falling for him a little, but keeping it in my head that he had made it clear he was not trying to get into a serious relationship. As time went on I of course hoped that would change.

 

First thing I did wrong was to not see other guys, make plans and be available for him. So fast forward to now, we still have a good time together and great friendship, but the spark has. He no longer has to "work for it" (making chasing new women even more appealing) and I don't get much unsolicited effort or affection from him anymore. There is no chase courtesy of the next point.

 

Second, to further complicate things, he took a new position allowing him to be based in my city and I allowed him to move in with me (premature I know) as it was good for us financially. We did not talk about how this would impact our not committed relationship, but he was traveling most of the time so it didn't change much. But now he will be home for six months, but we have discussed him finding a place during this time.

 

Lastly, we're still involved but he's been sure to remind me that he is dating and makes comments like "hope you enjoyed your date" if I come home late. Now I haven't seen him date, but this really makes me feel like he is blocking or not even entertaining the idea of giving us a go. I accept he wants to keep his options open, but I have serious feelings for this dude and not sure I can be with him as just a friend.

 

I wonder should I just act like I'm cool with the situation and go on about my own life, or if there's anything I can do to reignite the flame while we share a house. I want to spark his interest, not for us to become platonic roommates since being this close all the time is fading any excitement that was left.

 

Now that I read this, it doesn't look good for me does it? I probably could be walking down the aisle right now has I played my cards better because we had something so rare. He's a good friend otherwise, but I want to spark that attraction again before it's totally dead.

[preraph]

Yeah, he's not looking to be monogamous with you at all. He's too cheerful about hoping you're dating. So if I were you, I'd get out there and date or at least go out with friends and stop hoping something develops.