987654_321 Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 Is this considered as "cheating"? --> I met my boyfriend about 2 years ago, and when our relationship was only 2 months into the relationship, I went to the movies with a very very good close guy friend,he was almost like my brother. I helped my guy friend with his relationship with his own girlfriend of a year and something, and he wanted to marry her. So i helped do things for them. But anyways, my guy friend came to visit his girlfriend and so he wanted to meet up with me so we can catch up on things. Things wernt going as great with his relationship so he was kind of bummed out, and same with my relationship. In my relationship we still barely knew each other, but to me at the time I thought my boyfriend was not interested in me, so I was bummed out. But in the moive, my guy friend put his hand in top if mine. I didnt take it the wrong way, I just left my hand there thinking "this guy is just being nice". Later that night we talked on the phone and he was trying to talk dirtl to me, I wasnt really comfortable with it, so after we hung up he started calling me non-stop, so that is when I got my boyfriend to call him up and tell him to stop phoning.Adn that was the last time I ever talked to this guy. So would the part where he was putting his hand on my hand considered cheating?? I did not do ANYTHING WITH THIS GUY, maybe just like a "friendly hug" when we first saw eachother, but that was it!! SO was I wrong to leave my hand there with his?? I am so confused, because I am NOT THE TYPE OF GIRL TO CHEAT!!! I never thought of him that way, and I would of never cheated on my boyfriend. Was he trying to "comfort me" because I was down? OR was he "pretending" to be comforting me so he can get with me?? What if he was trying to "get" with me, and I had no idea?? Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 No that was not cheating. Forgive yourself and move on, no need to disclose to your bf. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted April 13, 2005 Share Posted April 13, 2005 Did your b/f think you were exclusively dating? If yes, then it was shady. Not that big a deal, but shady. Did your b/f know you were going to the movies with this guy? If no, extra shady. Also not that big a deal. Just don't go on dates (real or otherwise) with other dudes. Link to post Share on other sites
onlyhuman Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 NO. You were being nice and he made more of it than it was. Rebound syndrome big time! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 You didn't cheat because you didn't DO anything. If you had enjoyed the feeling of his hand being on yours or if you encouraged him more, or told him how you good he made you feel - THAT is crossing the line and is inapproiate. BUT you didn't and you didn't feel any of what I mentioned. You're being TOO hard on yourself. Can't control what others think of you - Good and bad. Be flattered but don't react. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 I disagree, as I said above: 1) She had a b/f (that's what her post said, maybe they weren't exclusive formally or implicitly) 2) She was at the movies with a dude (looks like a date to me) 3) He held her hand and she let him Not the worst story by any means, but it looks shady. If your b/f did this, would that be okay by you? Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 it would not be okay with me. it wouldn't necessarily be my boyfriends fault that someone put her hand over his, but it would be his fault for being in a position where it could happen. my boyfriend does not go out with other girls without me, and he wouldn't want to, friendly or not. and i seriously doubt her was trying to comfort you by trying to hold your hand at the movies. that's just naive. in a different setting maybe...if you were talking and he put his hand on yours and said "you are going to be fine, everything will work out" and then took his hand away, maaaaaaaaaaaybe. but to do it for a long enough time that you have the time to think about what to do or what it means or when you should take your hand back when you're basically on a date with this him, no way. in a way, you're just as guilty as he is by being out with that guy anyway. don't put yourself in that situation anymore. and i don't think you will, unless you're looking for trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
TylerC Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 I don't think it's cheating, but its definitely inappropriate and I wouldn't let it happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
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