Is NC really for me?

[dvx]

She's not in your hands dude, she's gone and has been gone since she broke up with you. And Day 25 is just a drop in the bucket -- this is a process that takes months and goes in fits and starts. But no, don't be the douchey ex that chases and can't take a hint. And stop expecting and waiting for breadcrumbs -- one of the reasons why you are progressing slow is because you keep expecting her to come back in contact with you. Stop that. In fact, you should block her from doing so -- not to punish her, but so you can stop sitting there and waiting for breadcrumbs. If she can't contact you, there's nothing to wait for.

 

One side of me wants her to contact me and the other side wants me to block her. Im still weak in the progress. Im still living in the hope. I guess i need that door shut to my face to realize. I know that I must contact her sooner or later. But I will do so when I'm ready to get the door shut completely. Right now i couldn't handle it.

[Simon Phoenix]

One side of me wants her to contact me and the other side wants me to block her. Im still weak in the progress. Im still living in the hope. I guess i need that door shut to my face to realize. I know that I must contact her sooner or later. But I will do so when I'm ready to get the door shut completely. Right now i couldn't handle it.

 

You don't need to contact her at all. That makes no sense. She already shut the door, that's what the breakup was. You honestly need her to break up with you again? That's stupid. What you need to do is block her. Therefore, if for whatever reason she does make contact with you, she'll have to make a concerted effort.

 

But no, you don't need to get kicked in the face again to realize it hurts. Get that stupid crap out of your head ASAP -- you're obsessed with it, which is why you are making very slow progress.

[Ruby65]

Yep -- you need to stop looking for loopholes. You're smart enough to get it that it's over without completely humiliating yourself.

 

Go ahead and block her already!

[Enclave213]

It's 6.30 am. I can't sleep, i haven't been able to sleep since she left 3 weeks ago. And why am I doing this? I know everyone in here is saying "You don't do NC for her to come back, you do it for you"

 

Yeah but it's not helping me at all. I can't sleep, i can't eat like i used too, i go to the gym i spend half of my time there just sitting and thinking, i can't work, i can't live my life.

 

She on the other hand is living life perfectly, like if i was never in her life in the first place. She works, she parties, she's with friends, she is happy on pictures, she flirts and maybe even dates who knows. Is that fair?

 

Why the hell am i doing NC? It feels like I'm just doing her a BIG ASS FAVOR. Im doing exactly what she wanted without even putting up the smallest fight. She gets what she wants so easily, while I'm the one taking all of the **** and going through the pain for us both. I am the one suffering.

 

Feels like if she was my boxing opponent in the ring and i just laid down on the floor, giving her the easiest win possible here by not contacting her at all. Im so pissed of and sad at the same time, i love her and hate her at the same time.

 

I swear to god if i ever get through this i will be the biggest and coldest douchebag ever, i will never let a girl take my heart like this again, rip it in pieces and then throwing it in garbage because after this i don't own a heart anymore. I will not have a relationship for the next 10-15 years at least. I will be screwing as many as possible and just being a cold ass heartless idiot. Screw being that romantic, loving guy. It has done nothing but brought me pain. I wish id never met her, i wish i never did gave her my heart and fell in love.

 

Similar thing recently happened with me OP, we were in an LDR for a year and i flew her out to my country where we were mostly happy 90% of the time, she recently left me as i had a nasty drinking problem, and all i've seen is her being 'happy' getting out and doing stuff when i'm a mess. I cut the negatives of smoking and drinking out my life but i have no motivation to do much of anything outside of that as i feel a part of me has left. We had so many memories together and i recently learned she's in a rebound with a guy who is NOTHING like me. Don't get me wrong, i know him and he is a nice guy but he's nothing like what she'd look for and is horribly boring. I can't decide if NC is my thing or not as I know she regrets the decision but wants to see serious change in me.

[na49]

What you need to do is block her. Therefore, if for whatever reason she does make contact with you, she'll have to make a concerted effort.

 

You pretty much have to do this if you want to move on OP.

 

Blocking her won't stop her from contacting you if she really wants to. I had my ex blocked, and she blew up my school email, and when that didn't work, she used a fake Facebook account. Is that supposed to give you hope? No. It's supposed to give you a reason to block her for your own sanity. If she wants to contact you, she will. It's out of your hands though. You can't really convince her to be with you if she already made up her mind.