Author lisbon67 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 Hiya It's really super to get your support LH...I didn't realise it would take 6m to 2 years to process WW s Affair. ..you are so right..that emotions about it swing every day through a huge range....rage,disgust ,anger. ..recently....but deep sorrow, disbelief, stunnedness ( is that a word..?...and various others.... I've never felt like murdering her like you did your WS...lol...thank goodness you saw the councillor when you did lol...or you could be helping me from the jail cell what was that Aussie woman's jail drama again? I used to watch it...prisoners of cell block H ?...lol Glad to hear you're getting your self esteem and life back. I'm still at a quite depressed stage and still having to look and deal with her every day. I think as you say I will feel the loss when she goes and some sadness....she drove me to thus. ..I wouldn't still have my balls intact if I didn't divorce her...she treated me like a soft pussy at home...while she pursued her A...so I need to push on...somehow...and I like your idea of making my PLAN ...I will do this... I had some great stuff from Badkarma on this and my other thread...so will look over them again... I think it's nice you coming to support new members and betrayed husbands like myself. ..good on ya in getting back on top of your WS..figuratively speaking of course ..and having fun things to look forward to for yourself and your kids...talk later x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lisbon67 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 Ps I ordered the Stephen Covey book today and one other...!! cheers for that too... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lisbon67 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 Order DetailsOrder #026-8764081-7785114* Placed on*April 06, 2015The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change* Sold by Amazon EU S.a.r.L.* £8.14* Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway: How to Turn Your Fear and Indecision into Confidence and Action* Sold by Amazon EU S.a.r.L.* £6.29* Item Subtotal:£13.07Postage & Packing:£0.00 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Expect her to turn into a magnitude 5 bimbo after you leave her and the divorce goes through. Those Russian women start looking harsher as they get older and she is going to be gunning for a new wallet to support her. You'll start calling her Turnstile, she'll have Aline of men stretching around the corner. Sorry to hit you with that but that's what my exWW back when I left her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Lisbon its healing me helping others. It will help heal you too even now when it's just so fresh still. 2 days after D Day. My sister in law, who put up with multiple infidelities from her H now exH, got on the phone and blasted me. ME!!!! ME???? Me. How could she. I cried SO hard and begged her for help. She softened. BTW that was the last time I ever spoke to her. May be NC forever with them all. The cruelty and blame was ... well there's just no words for it. SIL directed us on speaker phone what to do. She said to her wayward brother to TELL LION HEART EVERYTHING NOW, TONIGHT, EVERYTHING, YOU HAVE TO OR THERE IS NO MOVING FORWARD. I was so scared of my reaction to what I was about to hear that I literally threw anything I could harm him with off the balcony where we were sitting. The kids were in bed. I closed all the blinds. I even took the pot plants downstairs in a flurry. WH asked what I was doing and I said "removing everything I could harm you with". I sat on the balcony lounge and fixed my arms with imaginary super glue all along my arms on the arms of the couch. I said I'M READY. But what came out of his mouth... I listened intently. ...I didn't say a word....I listened. ..it went on and on ..... he could see something happening with me. The feeling started in my chest..it radiated out through my limbs and I went numb. Completely numb. I saw the peg basket and thought "I could murder him with a peg".....I imagined the whole scenario playing out and repeated out loud "Be still Lion Heart" x 5 or 10. Then I said with joy, "Be STILL and KNOW that I AM GOD." X 10. Then the cooling of my limbs occurred and we both travelled through that intact. It was hard to unstick my arms. It's like they'd been paralyzed. And Thankyou God for delivering me from evil. When I described that scenario later to the psych after her asking if he was dead in a room in my home etc. She said she's met many murderers and that is exactly the feeling they get. But they had no strategy for bringing themselves back. I asked her to commit me! But she said with full confidence "I doubt you will EVER feel that again in your entire lifetime, unless your children are under threat and it can be activated". Threat from my children's own father brought that feeling on in me! Their father! No he's not dead, the big sh** is drinking beer and happily watching a bl**dy movie in the lounge room. On the bl**dy lounge he had to replace after his A! Yeah yuk. I haven't given my WH enough credit for his bravery really. I'd be friggin scared of me too! Lol. But the psych has reassured us both and I've not felt anything remotely like it since. She was right. But she has known me since 7yo. In fact she said after that first appt that she doubted WH would turn up to any appt he booked. "AND DON'T YOU DARE BOOK ANY APPTS FOR WH, LION HEART!" Then a warm, "Go home and grieve the loss of your beautiful family, but remember it's actually only 1 person you've lost. He's lost 7. Be done. WH doesn't deserve any of you." So dear lisbon, you've a) avoided the murderous feeling - EXCELLENT! Lol. Not. b) you're grieving - that's ok. Normal. c) you've filed for D - wow. Well done. d) you're deciding how to get her out????? e) you've had panic attacks / triggers - normal but will subside when she's gone and you deal head on with them. f) you are planning good times and TIME OUT for you - about time. He he. It's ok. You are doing ok. Have another read of the 180. Now if my WH turns up the daisies it wasn't me! I promise! This post is like my confessional. My God didn't forsake me in my hour of need. He won't forsake you either. Lion Heart. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lisbon67 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 Lisbon its healing me helping others. It will help heal you too even now when it's just so fresh still. But the psych has reassured us both and I've not felt anything remotely like it since. She was right. But she has known me since 7yo. In fact she said after that first appt that she doubted WH would turn up to any appt he booked. "AND DON'T YOU DARE BOOK ANY APPTS FOR WH, LION HEART!" Then a warm, "Go home and grieve the loss of your beautiful family, but remember it's actually only 1 person you've lost. He's lost 7. Be done. WH doesn't deserve any of you." So dear lisbon, you've a) avoided the murderous feeling - EXCELLENT! Lol. Not. b) you're grieving - that's ok. Normal. c) you've filed for D - wow. Well done. d) you're deciding how to get her out????? e) you've had panic attacks / triggers - normal but will subside when she's gone and you deal head on with them. f) you are planning good times and TIME OUT for you - about time. He he. It's ok. You are doing ok. Have another read of the 180. Now if my WH turns up the daisies it wasn't me! I promise! This post is like my confessional. My God didn't forsake me in my hour of need. He won't forsake you either. Lion Heart. Brilliantly described scene LH....had a wee laugh at the way you described it...but obviously must have been horrendous...you did so well under the circumstances...good idea to remove the plant pots from harms way...but i can totally understand the physical sensations surging through your body,,,I was getting these too,,,just with the little my Ws has disclosed to me this far...even when she finally admitted just to thier have a 'sexual relationship' to me 4 weeks...for the A tat was 11 years ago....i felt strange feelings and really sick in stomach...even though I had known myself deep down all these years...and it was eating me all this time... Just yesterday she kinda agreed to 'tell me everything'...even tho the divorce goes through final on 23rd April with full certificate to follow I pretended to her that this just might be a possible way to stall or halt the final divorce...and would certainly be a pre-requiste.....But I dont know if I could handle this...would be worse than you I think... I ran past an idea with her...I would voice record all my questions on my mobile phone...then she would voice record her reply (honestly this time I insisted)...and I would listen to her recording ..when I felt ready...and NOT with her in the room...preferably far away from each other...What do you think?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lisbon67 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 Expect her to turn into a magnitude 5 bimbo after you leave her and the divorce goes through. Those Russian women start looking harsher as they get older and she is going to be gunning for a new wallet to support her. You'll start calling her Turnstile, she'll have Aline of men stretching around the corner. Sorry to hit you with that but that's what my exWW back when I left her. I think you might be right...She is a flirt and a good looking woman when she's made up.... I would probably be jealous no doubt at first if I saw her flaunting herself with another man... But I would just need to convince myself that I had done the right thing ..because she is BAD news...or certainly was to me (but not all the time of course) Link to post Share on other sites
Author lisbon67 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 No he's not dead, the big sh** is drinking beer and happily watching a bl**dy movie in the lounge room. On the bl**dy lounge he had to replace after his A! Yeah yuk. I haven't given my WH enough credit for his bravery really. I'd be friggin scared of me too! Lol. Reminds me of the Billy Connolly joke...you need to watch this youtube clip... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lisbon67 Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 But the psych has reassured us both and I've not felt anything remotely like it since. She was right. But she has known me since 7yo. In fact she said after that first appt that she doubted WH would turn up to any appt he booked. "AND DON'T YOU DARE BOOK ANY APPTS FOR WH, LION HEART!" Then a warm, "Go home and grieve the loss of your beautiful family, but remember it's actually only 1 person you've lost. He's lost 7. Be done. WH doesn't deserve any of you." LH...you say here that "...only 1 person you lost" ...did you mean your first WS,...because you are still with your spouse and doing R...? Link to post Share on other sites
LifeWasted Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 I think you might be right...She is a flirt and a good looking woman when she's made up.... I would probably be jealous no doubt at first if I saw her flaunting herself with another man... But I would just need to convince myself that I had done the right thing ..because she is BAD news...or certainly was to me (but not all the time of course) Well she better act fast because most of the Russian/Eastern European women I have known went from being gorgeous to hideous once they hit 50. Those exotic Russian features don't age well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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