Lindsaycaper Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I've been seeing this new guy at work for a few weeks. He seems really cool. However I found out recently that his ex gf works with us as well. Apparently they dated all of last year broke up in October, got back together in February and just recently in MARCH Stopped speaking again. Finally I saw her in person in our break room. We work for an airline so literally there's over 800 of us so I figured I'd never see her. She's VERY stunning I was amazed by how beautiful she is. She looked to be Italian or something or maybe multiracial. She has REALLY long eyelashes, long brown hair and a beauty mark on her cheek under her eye. Sorry for going on about her looks but I was just amazed lol. He ended up coming in the break room and sat at the table where she was. He didn't sit directly with her but across from her (the break room was packed he didn't know I was there). I observed how they interact. He jokes with her a lot or seems to say anything to get her attention. He even teased her by drawing a mole on his face identical to hers. I saw at one point she asked him for some of his drink (yes share the same drink as him!) he told her no because he's sick. Also he stares at her ALOT or looks deeply into her eyes when she talks to him. He made a comment to her how he always sees her talking to different guys. There was this guy who asked her if they were back together and she said "no it isn't like that" I guess she offended him because he said "it's exactly like that and apparently it's like that with everyone else too". I was still shocked he didn't notice me in the break room honestly. He texted me later that night to leave work together. She messaged him several times. He wasn't hiding his phone very well. The text said "why do u act diff everyday?? That makes no sense". Two mins later she messages him again saying "wow ur gonna ignore me?". Maybe 45 min later she messaged him again saying "fine u gonna act like this AGAIN. I'll pretend I don't know u since obviously that's what u want" that's as much as I could see so it's not VERBATIM but that's basically what was said. Everyone knows about their long term relationship at work. A few coworkers told me he always goes back to her and that theyve had many nasty fights while at work. She seemed very sweet and pleasant from me observing her. As far as him I think he's cool and I wanna go further with him but I feel like maybe I need to talk to him about her. Or maybe speak to her to see where they stand. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 At best you are a rebound. Get out now before you get in too deep. He's still connected to her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Well, first and only piece of advice.....don't eat where you ****. In other words, don't date someone you work with. Other than that, the fact that he is FRESH out of a relationship would make me run. The fact that you witnessed his interactions with her - well, this goes back to my only piece of advice.....don't eat where you ****. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 This is waaaay too messy. Stay out of it. Stay out of anything with him. They are not done with each other. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 He's still with his ex in his head. Don't get into their drama. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Confusedchica Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 First off if it's his ex and he's NOT interested in her, why'd he sit with her? Most ppl who are done with eachother or freshly broken up as u say they are don't really try to keep in contact or would prob avoid eachother. Also him asking her about her talking to guys shouldn't be his concern unless it bothers him. Trust me if it didn't bother him he would not have brought it up. The fact that she texted him or feels comfortable texting him saying he's ignoring her is a sign they're not over. Whether he ignored her text or not he's most likely going to see her at work again so really there's no rush for him to respond to her text while ur around. She asked him to share his drink because she feels comfortable doing so. His "I'm sick" wasn't a good response if they're not connected. I personally wouldn't share a drink with anyone sick or not but his concern was that he's sick and that he didn't want her to get sick. It wasn't that he didn't want to share a drink with her because they shouldn't be sharing drinks as it should've been. The BIGGEST red flag for u should've been when she said it's not like that and he said it is. That's ur answer right there 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Get out of this situation. It could turn out to be very upsetting for you. They still have strong feelings for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Seems he's still into her, and by the sound and frequency of her texts, they likely still have something going on. I would not get involved. Also, dating co-workers is not wise in any case. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Apparently they dated all of last year broke up in October, got back together in February and just recently in MARCH Stopped speaking again. He is sooooooo not ready to be in another relationship. How can he start to emotionally invest in you when he's not even over his (very recent) ex? If I were you, I'd end it and give him a lot of time to sort things out. It's not fair to you to begin something and still be so dramatic and having strong reactions about the ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lindsaycaper Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 (edited) See the thing Is he never says nice things about her to ANYONE ELSE but when she's around him he seems smitten just by her presence its weird which is why I'm confused by what he even feels about her Edited March 30, 2015 by Lindsaycaper Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 See the thing Is he never says nice things about her to ANYONE ELSE but when she's around him he seems smitten just by her presence its weird which is why I'm confused by what he even feels about her There is nothing to be confused about....he is still into her. Tip: always go by their actions not by their words. I hope you haven't slept with him yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lindsaycaper Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 No I haven't slept with him. A coworker asked her today if they're still a thing and she said that they aren't an official couple but are working towards it and that the last time they slept together was this past Friday :/. My coworker that she also said that they aren't speaking at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 No I haven't slept with him. A coworker asked her today if they're still a thing and she said that they aren't an official couple but are working towards it and that the last time they slept together was this past Friday :/. My coworker that she also said that they aren't speaking at the moment. That's all you need to know. Even without hearing this, it seems evident they're not as done as he made them out to be. Stop seeing him. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 This is your title : Seeing a new guy..Unsure already And this he seems smitten just by her presence its weird which is why I'm confused by what he even feels about her To this!! the last time they slept together was this past Friday You're confused by what he feels about her, yet you know he's banging her? What exactly is your question because your story just seems all over the place. Link to post Share on other sites
persevere Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You are being used as a "test dummy". He is using you to ensure he's still got it. Also, as a wedge to get her back. She likely broke it off with him, now he's a bit confused. You're in the middle of a love triangle. Get out and date someone who is solidly over their ex, preferably at another airline. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 This is just not worth it. No guy is worth a mess like this. NO GUY. Get out before you get hurt. and it's guaranteed you will get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 He was probably using you as a tool to get her jealous and lure her back to him. Link to post Share on other sites
MrsBrantley1 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I'd stay away from that drama... You don't need that stress. Date someone who knows what they want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lindsaycaper Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 This is your title : Seeing a new guy..Unsure already And this To this!! You're confused by what he feels about her, yet you know he's banging her? What exactly is your question because your story just seems all over the place. I didn't know he was "banging her" until someone said it at work AFTER I intially posted this. I was confused because like I said he NEVER said nice things about her. He even said she's "ugly" before so that's why I didn't get why as soon as she came around in the breakroom he couldn't stop staring at her. Link to post Share on other sites
kayla73 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 From what you've told me, there is still something going on between them. You don't want to be in this mess. If I were you, I'd cut ties with him. Ask him point blank if he still talks to her outside of work. If he lies, admit that you saw the messages. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I didn't know he was "banging her" until someone said it at work AFTER I intially posted this. I was confused because like I said he NEVER said nice things about her. He even said she's "ugly" before so that's why I didn't get why as soon as she came around in the breakroom he couldn't stop staring at her. Given from what your previous posts about their interaction in the breakroom and also her continued texting stated I would have to say they are still probably having sex on the side every once in awhile. If she was texting him continuously while you were together and made no bones about it, and given the content of the texts, I am afraid you are going to be left heartbroken if you continue in this relationship much longer. It called "playing both ends against the middle". He is still into her and will be more than happy to get an occasional piece off of her without the strings attached of having a relation ship with her. You provide the emotional component while she provides a physical one so it's a win/win situation for him as he thinks you are none the wiser. But you are now informed, having seen their interaction unbeknownst to him. I would break it off with him this very night. Continue this relationship at your own peril. Sorry, I am sure that was not what you wanted to hear, but based on the information you have put forward I'd bet all the money I have i my wallet he is still having sex with her. Good Luck:) Link to post Share on other sites
JohnsonBaby Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 See the thing Is he never says nice things about her to ANYONE ELSE but when she's around him he seems smitten just by her presence its weird which is why I'm confused by what he even feels about her The fact their relationship didnt work out doesn't mean there s no physical attraction between them. I wouldn't get too attached if I were u Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 To be honest. This is a no touch situation, walk away and don't look back. He's still involved with her, either overtly or covertly. Everyone knows it, and if he's a pilot by any chance (don't know too many straight male flight attendants) then your chances of him being faithful are so close to zero it's not funny. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JohnsonBaby Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) I didn't know he was "banging her" until someone said it at work AFTER I intially posted this. I was confused because like I said he NEVER said nice things about her. He even said she's "ugly" before so that's why I didn't get why as soon as she came around in the breakroom he couldn't stop staring at her. You sound a bit naive ,of course he s going to say he doesn't like her so you won't get suspicious and he can keep her on the side . I ve done that before ,matter of fact I spoke really negatively about guys I liked with the same intention of keeping the attention away from them. If they re still having sex you re wasting your time. If he admitted she s attractive but didnt work out it would be most likely an harmless friendship. Edited March 31, 2015 by JohnsonBaby Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lindsaycaper Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 so I finally spoke to her today. She said that they are very much still connected to eachother. She said he was only ignoring her that night she was texting him because he got jealous about her talking to guys. She said the reason she isn't speaking to him right now is because he was disrespectful to her that same night and she said that she doesnt tolerate disrespect. She also mentioned he's the only guy she's ever slept with. She was kinda arrogant tho because she said even if she ignores him or cuts him off he will most likely come back to her. She told me not to get my hopes up basically (what a bitch?). They've apparently been on and off since last February. She seemed amused by the fact that he entertained me at all honestly. I wonder should I confront him?? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts