Joey07 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Day 2 of no contact and I'm going insane. I know I'm taking all the right steps for myself and focus on me. I've cut my hair bought some new clothes all to feel confident again. But it's been 2 weeks and a half since we broke up and she dosnt sound devastated at all. It's almost like we never happened. I broke all the rules, I begged I cried, I texted I called. I did it all. But after reading a few things on here NC seems to be the way to go but it is now day 2 and I'm going insane. I'm really at breaking point. I just want to call her tell her I miss her. Tell her I love her. Help me. This is so hard!! Link to post Share on other sites
smellysocksuni Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You've done so well, make it to day 3 It'll be hard, it's going against everything you know to not contact her, but you can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joey07 Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 It's jusut so hard you know. It's playes over and over in my head what if no contact will just show her I'm not fighting for her. What if she's meeting up with other guys while I'm not contacting her. Everything plays in my head. It's the hardest thing I've ever done! Link to post Share on other sites
Twigyy Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Hey dude. Relax. Just remember that your situation is not the worst one on Earth. Enjoy being alone for a while, and your happiness will come to you. I am on day 28 of NC. My ex left me during January. On the third week after the break up she already got a new bf and already had sex. See where I'm going? You don't want to contact her anymore, you don't want to find out more stuff that hurts you. Let her go, give her the space that she needs. So what if she starts to date other guys? If you guys are meant to be or you were the best option after all, she will come back, and its on her, not you. So cheer up, keep walking forward and never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackbirdSong Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Think day 3 is tough, wait until you get to the 40's or 50's. .. it gets much worse. Not trying to be a dick, but I'm having a much harder time now than in the beginning n Link to post Share on other sites
Suit_up Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I'm finding the same. Harder with time. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Every time you want to call your ex, call a friend instead. Or post on here and ask for support in not calling her. Or work out. Or take a steaming hot shower. Or read through the No Contact Guide on this site for inspiration. You can do this! It really DOES get easier, it just takes a while. It's like quitting smoking -- the first few weeks are the hardest. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Suit_up Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 It's so hard to believe that there is one uniform solution for all people. That with the limitless complexities of peoples minds, and the way they interact, the one thing everyone should do is exactly the same. Link to post Share on other sites
OneBigIdgit Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Do you want her back Twigyy? I'm at day 16 on the 2nd round of NC. Actually the 3rd round because I went 32-33 days of no contact until I found out she got engaged 28 days after the break. I wasn't intentionally doing NC though. I started NC after we had a texting session regarding her new engagement and saying out goodbyes. I'd sure like to have a retry but I'm sure she is happier because the new guy is rich and lives in a beautiful area. He can give her so many things that I couldn't. We need a fast forward button to speed up time by about a year. I might be over this situation by that length of time Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 It's so hard to believe that there is one uniform solution for all people. That with the limitless complexities of peoples minds, and the way they interact, the one thing everyone should do is exactly the same. Unless you're talking about a relationship between two schizophrenics, the dynamics of a relationship and breakup are pretty much the same with a few set variations. That's how we're able to study and understand human psychology -- because we ARE all so similar, even down to our belief that we're each unique. As far as breakup recovery, it's just like recovering from any other addiction -- there's psychological and chemical dependencies to sever. Just like cold turkey is the best course for addicts and alcoholics, No Contact is the best course for healing from a breakup. Your brain is in shock and going through emotional/chemical withdrawal. You've become addicted to the blissful chemicals your brain has come to associate with your ex.... now that relationship is suddenly gone and those endorphins are cut off and your brain wants them back, bad. The stages of grieving are usually the same for most people -- there's the Kubler-Ross Five Stages of Grief model of: Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression, Acceptance. There's not much variation, really -- most people go through them after a breakup just like grieving any other significant loss. Link to post Share on other sites
KBarletta Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I broke all the rules, I begged I cried, I texted I called. I did it all. But after reading a few things on here NC seems to be the way to go but it is now day 2 and I'm going insane. I'm really at breaking point. I just want to call her tell her I miss her. Tell her I love her. Help me. This is so hard!! Remember, if you've already done all of this begging and crying, then she knows you love her and she knows you miss her. There is no point in saying it again. Anything else you say is only going to further delay your recovery. And that is what you need to be focusing on right now, your own well-being. As the other posters have said, focus on taking care of yourself. Work out, listen to loud music, go for a walk, talk to friends, read a book, write in a journal, see a therapist if need be. But don't contact her. Delete her number from your phone, block on any and all social media outlets. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Karin2rinkashi Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Hey dude. Relax. Just remember that your situation is not the worst one on Earth. Enjoy being alone for a while, and your happiness will come to you. I am on day 28 of NC. My ex left me during January. On the third week after the break up she already got a new bf and already had sex. See where I'm going? You don't want to contact her anymore, you don't want to find out more stuff that hurts you. Let her go, give her the space that she needs. So what if she starts to date other guys? If you guys are meant to be or you were the best option after all, she will come back, and its on her, not you. So cheer up, keep walking forward and never look back. Yours waited 3 weeks? Damn, she respected you.... Mine was in a relationship 1 week later.... Link to post Share on other sites
AIJ Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Yours waited 3 weeks? Damn, she respected you.... Mine was in a relationship 1 week later.... Mine waited 2 weeks woooo shoutout to our amazing ex girlfriends that had so much respect and love for us! I think NC is very effective and does get easier with time IF you find someone else to fill that void. Maybe not right away, but after a few weeks, where you feel comfortable talking to someone else again. It's just nice to feel like someone is interested in talking to you, someone you can text all day every day and talk about literally anything! That's the one thing I miss the most about being in a relationship. If you sit there and wallow in self-pity, counting the days of NC as they pass, it's probably going to get harder. So yeah, give it a while, you'll feel fine soon! Link to post Share on other sites
mstie Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I'm a lady, I'm at just over 1 year nc. It was horrible for months. At one point I ran into him and he hugged me, brought it all back. Saw him again last week. Deflected the hug and found the situation somewhat funny. We were at the library and he was physically uncomfortable. He sat near me and kept glancing over. I left, wondering what was so special about him anyway. It felt good. Hang in there! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Twigyy Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Do you want her back Twigyy? I'm at day 16 on the 2nd round of NC. Actually the 3rd round because I went 32-33 days of no contact until I found out she got engaged 28 days after the break. I wasn't intentionally doing NC though. I started NC after we had a texting session regarding her new engagement and saying out goodbyes. I'd sure like to have a retry but I'm sure she is happier because the new guy is rich and lives in a beautiful area. He can give her so many things that I couldn't. We need a fast forward button to speed up time by about a year. I might be over this situation by that length of time I've considered that a lot of times, and I think that there is quite a high chance that it wouldn't work out. The trust is gone and I doubt anyone would try super hard to earn someone's trust back. Link to post Share on other sites
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