lack of success due to lack of communication

[Mr. S]

Hey i was wondering if i could get any advice on this situation im having. Picture this-theres this girl in an art class which i take and she's kinda quiet and pretty and i guess i like her quite a bit.

 

So on valentine's day, i decided to get her a card. She read the card and according to a friend of mine, she was checking me out. but then some other guy goes and makes a move cos i didnt make mine fast enough as im not exactly an exceptional womanizer.

 

Well she ditched this guy ages ago and i lost interest in her for a few months but now im thinking i should go for it again. the thing is i hardly know anything about her, im paranoid as to incompatibility and i hardly get to talk to her except in this one lesson every week, which usually involves very brief or non-existent discussion. I see her a little bit every day around college, but we dont have any opportunity to talk.

 

i guess i need to get her to notice me in the right light and i need to figure out what to say and when to say it :s

 

It'd be prettty dope if you could tell me what you think.

[Tamed Wildflower]

Just ask her if she'd like to get lunch/dinner after class, or meet you for lunch/dinner near campus or at the campus dining hall before the next class. Real casual, just to get a chance to chat with her and see if you really like her. No need to worry about compatability quite yet. You'll begin to get an idea of that once you've grabbed lunch/dinner with her a few times.

 

By the way, only AlphaMale would say that being an "exceptional womanizer" is a good thing. Womanizer usually refers to a man who runs around using women and then kicking them to the curb. It is not a word for a sweet, respectful guy who is easily able to impress women.

[Mr. S]

Hey man thanks for your reply-altho theres no dining hall around my school; its a 6th form college which is for some irrelevant qualifications..

 

The thing is im not your average guy-lets just say im "artistically eccentric" and shes a bit confined to social image, which i guess is the real boundary because i dunno how i can get her to see past my distorted persona.

[Tamed Wildflower]

Originally posted by Mr. S

The thing is im not your average guy-lets just say im "artistically eccentric" and shes a bit confined to social image, which i guess is the real boundary because i dunno how i can get her to see past my distorted persona.

Hmm... I am not sure what you are saying here.

 

"confined to social image"?? she's straight-up straight-forward straight-and-narrow mainstream whereas you are "artistically eccentric"?? or she sees in terms of social images, and can't see beyond the outermost layer of imagery?

 

"distorted persona"?? you present yourself (your persona) very differently than you are, and you are afraid she won't see past your character facade and see the parts of you you want her to see?

 

Speak plainly, Man! I feel like I am trying to decipher code!

[Mr. S]

Haha-sorry about that; forgive my vagueness.

 

I'll put this in simpler terms (which i originally intended not to do to avoid misinterpretation-oh how that backfired..). This girl is, as you put it, aligned towards "straight-up straight-forward straight-and-narrow mainstream", whereas i have an alternative personality. Im paranoid because in the small community in which we are associated, mingling with my sort could be frowned upon in terms of her social display.

 

Basically to put things back on track, i dont know how the hell im gonna get this girl to appreciate how i see the world.

[DeaconFrost]

You do it by simply talking to her. You don't need to convince her of anything...If she is truly in to you and what you are all about than she will let you know verbally and non-verbally. Just go for it! To hell with rules, boundries and social stigma. Go talk to her, get to know her, and find out what she is all about. You both eat food, right? Go to lunch. It is non-commital and relaxed. If you both are feeling on each other, then over time you will know.