Author Jclements00 Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 Last she said was her mom probably don't remember wanting to go out. She wanted to go to Bourbon Street and if so I'm sure breakfast is out the question since I have to work Saturday and Sunday is my only morning off and I have things planned that day to have my dad come here and fix a broken washing machine plus I doubt she'd be up early enough after partying on Bourbon. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 We texted some Thursday and she didn't respond to my text at around 8 that night so Friday I didn't text at all neither did she. Wanted to she if she would end up texting me and she did today and we been texting off and on since. But now I'm not responding right away I wait a bit since she usually takes a lil while between texts I don't need her thinking I'm always waiting by my phone for her text. sounds like she has you mind-F'ed. best to drop her! cold turkey. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 10, 2015 Author Share Posted July 10, 2015 I like my turkey hot thanks. We talked a good bit since then and I don't think she's mind screwing me. She has kids and a life besides texting a guy which I have a life too plus she lives 45 min away so it's not like she's able to just drive over and go out. She did say she would make a trip my way tho but can't afford to all the time cause money ain't free where I'm from. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 It's great when you have moments where you have to talk to your ex and they have the same bad attitude towards you even when you're helping them out. Reminds me again why separation and divorce is a great thing and why that person pisses you off. I know I shouldn't but I decided for me to keep my $75 a month internet on at my old place cause I switched providers and would go back to the old internet if my new one wasn't good enough. So my ex and her kids get free internet and without it she wouldn't be able to afford it. I told her I'd keep it on a while and was talking to her about it and she goes off saying I'm throwing it in her face that I'm paying for it and telling me to cut it off. Then she would have no internet no Netflix nothing but DVDs. She can't appreciate a simple gesture and this is the girl who asked me a while back if I could please keep it on it would mean a lot. Of course I'm sure she's drinking and that causes a nasty attitude but have some gratitude for once. Besides that I still talk to the other girl and we're figuring out when she can be free of her kids again so we can have a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 Why would you pay for her internet? Your reasoning is flawed. Come on man! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 Oh well me and her still text a lot and are wanting to be friends. Yes I know it rarely works out being friends with an ex but we both know we got married way too quick and never really took the time to really get to know each other and have that connection. I don't know if anything will come of it or if in a few months we will even talk at all, but I do know we never let ourselves naturally form a real connection and be friends first so that's what we'll do. As far as paying her internet I choose to for right now but she will pay it soon. I wanted to keep it on in case my internet wasn't good enough I could just move my service over without going through the hassle of starting over and having to pay the setup and modem fees. I switched to AT&T where I only paid $25 to start my service. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMachine67 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Oh well me and her still text a lot and are wanting to be friends. Yes I know it rarely works out being friends with an ex but we both know we got married way too quick and never really took the time to really get to know each other and have that connection. I don't know if anything will come of it or if in a few months we will even talk at all, but I do know we never let ourselves naturally form a real connection and be friends first so that's what we'll do. As far as paying her internet I choose to for right now but she will pay it soon. I wanted to keep it on in case my internet wasn't good enough I could just move my service over without going through the hassle of starting over and having to pay the setup and modem fees. I switched to AT&T where I only paid $25 to start my service. Is this your ex that had a girlfriend ex, the one that you just moved away from? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 Yes the same one. Yes we are trying to be friends. Yes I know it's probably not a good idea. We are both happy and both single right now and are staying that way. No reason to not be friendly. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMachine67 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I didn't mean to imply that you shouldn't be friendly with her, it just came as a bit of a surprise that the two of you were getting along this well now. Are you still in touch with the other young lady that was going through a divorce? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 Yes, the other lady, we talked a bit last night. Asked her if I could take her out next time she doesn't have her kids which should be next weekend. She said we'll see. Kind of not the answer I was looking for and I'm not sure she's so interested anymore. But I'll text her something and she texts back this long text. So I'll give her till next weekend and if I don't see her I'll know to leave her alone. But yes me and the ex are friendly and I'm not stupid I know she could just be using me for whatever so I'll give that a little while to see where this friendship goes and if she starts seeing someone else or something I'll leave her alone too cause I don't care to be friends with my ex who is seeing someone else. We just been talking more the last week and seems like now that we split we can finally agree on what didn't work and why. It's all about the connection we never had as we didn't start off as friends and really get to know each other. I'll know soon enough if she's sincere in wanting to know me. I'm not looking or hoping to get back with her or anything and I don't have all these feelings left for her. I'm perfectly happy on my own doing what I want when I want and not dealing with her BS drama. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMachine67 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Yes, the other lady, we talked a bit last night. Asked her if I could take her out next time she doesn't have her kids which should be next weekend. She said we'll see. Kind of not the answer I was looking for and I'm not sure she's so interested anymore. But I'll text her something and she texts back this long text. So I'll give her till next weekend and if I don't see her I'll know to leave her alone. But yes me and the ex are friendly and I'm not stupid I know she could just be using me for whatever so I'll give that a little while to see where this friendship goes and if she starts seeing someone else or something I'll leave her alone too cause I don't care to be friends with my ex who is seeing someone else. We just been talking more the last week and seems like now that we split we can finally agree on what didn't work and why. It's all about the connection we never had as we didn't start off as friends and really get to know each other. I'll know soon enough if she's sincere in wanting to know me. I'm not looking or hoping to get back with her or anything and I don't have all these feelings left for her. I'm perfectly happy on my own doing what I want when I want and not dealing with her BS drama. Let me tell you this, if the other young lady was really interested, she'd find away to together with you. You can treat her as a friend and continue talking / texting, but don't hold yourself back expecting her to come around. If the interest and excitement is not there at the beginning, it never will be. Trust me on this one, I just went through this with someone. As for your ex, that's an interesting case. What you are describing happens many times when couples split, without the pressure of cohabitation they actually get along. Just be aware that if she meets someone, she will likely bail on you overnight, and she will always be bisexual. If you two can manage to reignite a spark and some passion, that's great also. Just use you past experience with her to guide you. I wish you the best of luck JC! It has been nice to have followed your journey from where you started to where you are today. From where I sit, you've come a long way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 Well thank you I really am happy where I'm at now. I do know not to put much stock into the other girl I'm talking to as more time passes that I don't see her it just tells me to back away. As for my ex she never stopped texting me even when she had her girlfriend who had a problem with us talking but my ex didn't care. I also thought she might even want to be friends so she doesn't feel bad about hurting me. I'm not sure but I don't expect anything to come out of it and I'm not sure we can even get to that point of connection that we never had. Time will tell but in the meantime I'm just enjoying being single and keeping my options open for women to date. If I meet someone I like and hit it off so be it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 So I fell asleep on my futon a while ago and wake up to my ex sending a couple texts asking what I'm doing since we were talking earlier about her being sad and she said she had company over so I stopped texting. I guess she's asleep now since its late and didn't respond back to me after I played it off like I was just chillin. But I wake up to a pic from the other girl with her right out the shower covering her chest. Um what? Son of a ..... So I text her and she just asked what I'm doing tomorrow as she'll be free to hang out a while so I'm seeing what she has in mind. And yes I'd rather go after this girl than the ex who I'd probably waste my time with anyway not to mention the reason she's my ex. I feel more excited about this new girl than I ever felt for my ex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Just be careful. She might have sent that selfie out to three other guys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Oh I'm totally aware of that. Women can be tricky girls and I'm not getting my hopes up for anything. Trying my best to focus on myself and no one else. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 So a couple weeks ago my ex was saying how the girlfriend she had didn't work out and now they don't talk. Then she admitted she was seeing a guy an old friend and they had sex a few times. The guy ended up not wanting to date just her and screwed her over, I guess karma working. Now she's not just lesbian anymore and that has made it harder on me the past two weeks. I was happy and fine when she was lesbian but her wanting guys now is just different. We have been talking more and even had a decent time just hanging out the other day for a while when I had to go get some stuff from her place. She's talking a lot to a guy who's her best friends brother who she knew since a kid. He wants to date her but she says he's not her type but I'm sure she's straight lying. She said a week ago she wasn't dating at all for six months then the other day says she's undecided about dating. Also says she wants to be my friend and U.S. To get to know each other and that it's way too soon to know if she would take me back if she had feelings for me again. This is after a few months ago she was dead set on never taking me back. I know the best thing is to not worry about it and do my own thing. But the way I am I just can't help but think about this a lot and let it get to me at times. She thinks I should be magically over her and still be her friend even if she dates other guys. Ex's usually aren't friends for a reason. This girl put me thru a lot of stress and while I'm sure I'm only hurting myself here we have gotten along better since I been gone. The other girl I talk to still takes hours sometimes between texts and that can get annoying. Any advice on what to do here? I have a feeling my ex will end up dating this guy she talks to and maybe other guys too and I know I'm gonna feel bad with that no matter what anyone says or what I tell myself. I do understand why she would hesitate to be with me again as I wouldn't take her back right away either but maybe start with friends then slowly dating if it came to that. I can't just forget about the girl I been with the last three years. We usually end up talking about how things didn't work out or us trying to be friends which we both said we can't be friends if that's all we talk about so I'm trying to talk to her just as a friend and not bring up the past or any talk of us being together. I'm not deeply depressed but more confused as how to go about all this. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 She thinks I should be magically over her and still be her friend even if she dates other guys. Ex's usually aren't friends for a reason. This girl put me thru a lot of stress and while I'm sure I'm only hurting myself here we have gotten along better since I been gone. You have to distance and detach yourself from your ex. How can even begin to really get over her on all levels if you two are in a lot of contact? It seems you both are prolonging that final pain of saying goodbye and respecting NC. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bigman1 Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 seriously, why are you doing this? you are running back into the burning building or at least standing dangerously close. leave, stop communicating, cut it out. omg. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Remember the magic words, "she's your ex," and remember why she is your ex. The reason you care who she bangs is because your still in her face and she knows how to push your buttons. She can have any man or woman she wants except you, they don't know how broken she is, you do. What good can come from letting it be her decision that you become her fall back position? She's baiting you, making you jealous so you'll reclaim your lost property, don't let your mind go there. Write her off than cut her off, no more contact unless it's about your divorce or children. Your not her friend, no woman coming into your life will accept her as a friend. Let her go because she is the anchor that is keeping your ship from sailing into the future you deserve. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 We usually end up talking about how things didn't work out or us trying to be friends which we both said we can't be friends if that's all we talk about so I'm trying to talk to her just as a friend and not bring up the past or any talk of us being together. I'm not deeply depressed but more confused as how to go about all this. So, in the 4 months since you started this thread wondering if your wife was cheating, you've confirmed both on evidence and through her own admission she has been unfaithful - with both sexes. And this confused state is the progress you've made ? As others have stated, the person holding you back is you, you're your own worst enemy. And until you begin to believe you deserve more than the hanger-on crumbs of waiting to see if you can be her back-up/Plan B, frustration and confusion will be your lot. You know there are women out there that don't act like this, right ??? Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bigman1 Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Sorry to pile on but now I am at a computer and not my phone. Do not talk with this woman any more, or at least for 6 months cold turkey. Why? She's a lesbian, or bi-sexual, or just messed up, but ALSO untrustworthy, and unstable and not relationship material for anyone. You are seriously in need of help. Emotionally, psychologically, and who knows what else. You can't be friends. Not now and possibly not ever. Seriously, NOT EVER. Stop hanging around and being available. If you do, your life will be miserable. I'm just telling you. At a minimum, 6 months of solid, hard core, NO CONTACT. No text, no emoji, no waving, no head nodding, no nothing. During that time, get yourself some help. At the end of 6 months, you won't want to interact with her at all. GUARANTEED. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 I definitely know all this. Just the way I am I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and for some reason it's just hard to not be friendly with the ex. I know she isn't right for me and if things happen to work out with the other girl I'm talking to maybe it'll help me to stay away from the ex and forget about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I know she isn't right for me and if things happen to work out with the other girl I'm talking to maybe it'll help me to stay away from the ex and forget about her. You should treat those as two separate things. Regardless of the fate of your current relationship, you have to realize your ex is a user without regard for you or your happiness. Better to be lonely than abused, lied to and cheated on... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 (edited) Yes you are right. I know my ex lies to me cause she has said she's not interested in this guy she's talking to and he's not her type yet I hear she says she may possibly go on a date and it means nothing plus she's told someone else she's taking it real slow with the guy. She can't be honest with me. I can't waste my time on liars. She even said if someone asked her on a date and she went she wouldn't tell me which I understand that. But don't try to be friends with me when you're dating other guys. Plus who would go on a date with someone they aren't interested in even a little? She's so full of you know what and I know that I just can't bring myself to totally leave her alone until she's got a serious boyfriend. Eventually I'll stop caring so much and leave her alone and be over her like others I've been with. I guess it's harder since she's my first wife and my longest relationship plus I lived with her for three years. Edited July 23, 2015 by Jclements00 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jclements00 Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 So the last couple days I haven't been talking to the ex at all leaving her alone and I know soon enuff she will text me wondering what's up. I been talking to the other girl more almost went saw her last night but she ended up having her kids. I'm gonna leave the ex alone and talk to the girl who's not a lying whor* and doesn't give me more stress. I have less stress when I don't talk to the ex and the longer I go the less I'll care to. But I will have to see her in a couple weeks cause we're getting tax money in that we're splitting. Give me my money and peace out! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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