Hope Shimmers Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 So the last couple days I haven't been talking to the ex at all leaving her alone and I know soon enuff she will text me wondering what's up. I been talking to the other girl more almost went saw her last night but she ended up having her kids. I'm gonna leave the ex alone and talk to the girl who's not a lying whor* and doesn't give me more stress. I have less stress when I don't talk to the ex and the longer I go the less I'll care to. But I will have to see her in a couple weeks cause we're getting tax money in that we're splitting. Give me my money and peace out! With all due respect I am not sure you are ready to enter into another relationship at this point. You are nowhere near at a "neutral" point in terms of how you feel about your ex. Divorce doesn't automatically get you there; it takes time to adjust emotionally, no matter how terrible the marriage was. I have been divorced for almost a decade and I wanted the divorce very much; however, I still remember that it was a punch in the gut the first time I found out that he took some woman away for a weekend getaway, even though I was seeing someone else at the time. Over time you disconnect from your ex-spouse (at least most people do, if they are moving forward in a healthy way) and now it doesn't bother me in the least if he has a girlfriend, and vice versa. I'm happy to have moved on and he doesn't take any of my brain space. Right now you are juggling one woman against the other and that's not a way to form a healthy relationship with someone new. Just my two cents -
Author Jclements00 Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 You do make a lot of sense. While I'm happy living on my own and not having so much stress yeah it's a punch to the gut when my ex is talking to someone else. I do accept that it'll happen she'll end up with someone else but it still sucks at first. I'm getting better at dealing with it over the last couple weeks and starting to see that I just need to leave the ex alone and focus on myself and getting to know the other girl. We are taking it very slow and it's better that way. That's why if I'm not ready I may be if things get serious down the line. We're in no rush and not pushing anything.
66Charger Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 Who is getting the tax refund check? Is it going to be in her name? You had better have something in writing that says half is yours or else you will have a battle for your split.
Author Jclements00 Posted July 26, 2015 Author Posted July 26, 2015 We should be getting a check in both our names since we did an amendment to file jointly so her name is on the taxes too. She has no checking account so I have to go to my bank to split it. She isn't gonna try to screw me any way we are civil about it. 1
Cephalopod Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 You do make a lot of sense. While I'm happy living on my own and not having so much stress yeah it's a punch to the gut when my ex is talking to someone else. I do accept that it'll happen she'll end up with someone else but it still sucks at first. I'm getting better at dealing with it over the last couple weeks and starting to see that I just need to leave the ex alone and focus on myself and getting to know the other girl. We are taking it very slow and it's better that way. That's why if I'm not ready I may be if things get serious down the line. We're in no rush and not pushing anything. I don't get it. Maybe I missed something earlier on. Is she no longer with her lesbian girlfriend? Who is your ex talking to? This is confusing.
Cephalopod Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Yes you are right. I know my ex lies to me cause she has said she's not interested in this guy she's talking to and he's not her type yet I hear she says she may possibly go on a date and it means nothing plus she's told someone else she's taking it real slow with the guy. She can't be honest with me. I can't waste my time on liars. She even said if someone asked her on a date and she went she wouldn't tell me which I understand that. But don't try to be friends with me when you're dating other guys. Plus who would go on a date with someone they aren't interested in even a little? She's so full of you know what and I know that I just can't bring myself to totally leave her alone until she's got a serious boyfriend. Eventually I'll stop caring so much and leave her alone and be over her like others I've been with. I guess it's harder since she's my first wife and my longest relationship plus I lived with her for three years. Okay.... What the hell happened to her girlfriend?
Author Jclements00 Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 Things didn't work out with her girlfriend. She then all of a sudden decided she wasn't just lesbian anymore and got with a guy an old friend she'd been knowing. He didn't want to date just her and she was getting feelings for him too quick and she got screwed over by him. She's talking to another guy who is the brother of one her best friends. As far as I know he wants to date her and she says she doesn't want to but I don't believe anything she says. That's why I'm not talking to her the last few days. She's too wishy washy. 1
Cephalopod Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 J.... Do yourself a favor and wait another 10 years before you even think about getting married again. You are young and your Chick-Picker sucks ass.
Author Jclements00 Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 I'm 35 years old. And I'm not marrying anytime soon. She was a bad apple but I had better chicks before.
happyman64 Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Better yet. Ignore the bisexual ones. In my book. Bisexual=Selfish. They don't have to choose. They can just jump from one sex to the other. While making their partner feel nuts. Continue on your course. You will be just fine in good time.
Author Jclements00 Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 I know I'll be fine. It's getting easier to not care at all and soon I won't. Especially if the other girl I talk to goes right I'll be fine in no time.
Author Jclements00 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Posted July 28, 2015 It helps when the ex is texting me about taxes which now we don't get back cause it went to pay on her student loan so she screwed me and I needed that money. But it helps when we start talking about why we didn't work out and her bad side starts coming out it just reminds me why we didn't get along and never really will. She says I'm to blame for not talking more to her or spending time with her when it was her drinking every night and the evil attitude it gave her that caused me to not want to be around her.
Mr. Lucky Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 It helps when the ex is texting me about taxes which now we don't get back cause it went to pay on her student loan so she screwed me and I needed that money. If that was your one remaining tie to her, you still got off cheap. Run Forest, run! Mr. Lucky
Author Jclements00 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Posted July 28, 2015 We have taxes we amended for 2013 we're still waiting to hear on. That and all the divorce stuff which she was gonna pay for with the taxes so now it may take longer cause neither of us make enough money to be able to afford that for a while.
MJJean Posted July 28, 2015 Posted July 28, 2015 We have taxes we amended for 2013 we're still waiting to hear on. That and all the divorce stuff which she was gonna pay for with the taxes so now it may take longer cause neither of us make enough money to be able to afford that for a while. I think the innocent spouse form may help you get your share of the taxes. Check with the IRS online or call and ask. As for the divorce, pay for it with the tax return you'll hopefully get back?
Author Jclements00 Posted July 28, 2015 Author Posted July 28, 2015 She was gonna pay for the divorce with the taxes but now that we're not getting back what we amended this year we may not get back last year's amendment either thanks to her student loan. Just means we have to wait longer to divorce and it looks like I'll have to be the one to pay for it since I make more money and will be able to save more than her. Right now I'm still having to pay stuff for my new place and getting situated here so it'll be a while before I can even save for that. It's not that bad a situation as long as I leave her alone it's all good. As for the divorce we have no children together own no property at all and no money together except for taxes we may get so the divorce should go smooth.
Author Jclements00 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Posted August 9, 2015 Well I'm not talking to the ex a whole lot mainly just about taxes and she even texted me wondering where I been cause I had been leaving her alone. The less I talk to her the better. As for the other girl I been talking to it seems like she's not interested anymore for some reason. I hadn't heard from her in 5 days and last thing I texted her I asked if she'd be free this weekend. I also saw on the dating site I met her on she added a couple pics and been on the last few days where before she wasn't on at all since a month ago that we had been talking. I do want to text her and see if she will give a reason why she stopped talking to me or see if she's too coward and just is like a lot of other girls and wanna stop talking leaving the guy hanging which I'm not so cool with.
Just a Guy Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Hi Jclement, Leave this new girl alone. I don't think she is interested and you will only get hurt trying to keep up with her. Look for someone else. However, I would wait till your divorce is through so that you can start on a clean slate with no residual baggage. Cheers!
Author Jclements00 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 Well stupid me messaged the new girl on the dating site just playfully saying hi wanna chat. When she didn't respond in a day and seeing she was on there I messaged her again saying guess not your loss. She responds saying I'm worse than a woman if someone doesn't text them back in enough time. She didn't text me back for five days! Who does that? So yeah I'm done talking to her and will wait a long time to talk to anyone else.
Author Jclements00 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 Oh I'm not I mean if new girl wants to continue talking or whatever then yeah I will but if not I'm not gonna keep trying to talk to her. I'll see if anyone piques my interest or talks to me first and go from there. Right now I'm more concerned about my small female dog I have. Been having her for three years and had to take her to the vet she has severe neurologic deficit and cervical pain on her right side making her off balance and hard to walk right. Got her pain meds and inflammatory meds and have to rest her for a few weeks or she could be paralyzed. It's my first pet and I love that dog like a human and it's just me and her so she's my main concern right now not any girls that might not be interested in me.
Chi townD Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Dude, your life got turned upside down. Don't worry about dating at the moment. Work on you for a while. Make positive changes and heal from this. You've only been out of the house a short time. Work on you for a while.
Author Jclements00 Posted August 10, 2015 Author Posted August 10, 2015 I do plan on working on myself right now. I'm doing what I want and answering to no one. I'm even taking a weekend getaway to New Orleans next weekend which is 2 hours away from me. Going with a friend a guy and see Incubus and Deftones my two favorite bands. I'm focusing on hitting the gym getting swoll as I can and doing for me for once. If a woman happens to come along on my life so be it but I'm not actively looking for anyone.
MJJean Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Again, look into the injured spouse form. The feds can take HER portion of the return to pay her student loans, but YOUR portion of the return can be sent to you. As far as divorce, since you have no shared assets or children, file yourself. I did my own divorce and helped 3 of my friends do theirs. Here, it's $180 for filing fees, whatever you pay for process servers or for registered mail service, some time in line at the clerks office, and a single court appearance. I wouldn't recommend diy divorce if you have shared kids and assets, but you don't.
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