Mizz Layta Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I noticed that some guys will mention their girlfriend or wife when you start talking to them .I wonder if they think i want them or something.Sometimes its relevant in the conversation but sometimes its not. One time at work this older man asked me if my hood of my car is open and i said yes it won't close.It needs to be fixed.Then he told me that he will try to put some greese on it sometime during his shift to see if it will close.I said sure and thanked him.Then i asked if he knows how to open it then he says he does.Then he mentioned that he fixed his wifes brothers car.Maybe in this case it was relevant another inicident was when i took my car to the shop to get something fixed not too long ago.Then when it was time to pay at the front ,i dropped my debit card on the floor and the guy at the cash said sorry thinking it was him and i said oh no its okay i drop things all the time.I then said ``my friends told me that i have butter hands.Then he said he is the same way and he mentioned the fact that his wife only lets him keep the old stuff because he is clumsly. On the other hand,my crush never mentioned his girlfriend in front of me.I even asked him if he ever goes out in spare time and he just said he does to pub sometime.He never mentioned the girlfriend in the conversation.I found out through someone else he told.He doesn't know that i know. So do guys who bring up their SO immidetely in the conversation think you flirting? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Yes. Mentioning that you have an SO in a conversation is an easy non-threatening way to set boundaries. Slight flirtation is fine, but this isn't going anywhere. They are trying to keep the conversation honest 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 No, I don't think they're flirting. I've done this once or twice myself when I've felt unusually attracted to a woman I'm talking to. It's a little subconcious, more of a "blurt" than anything, and almost certainly a reminder to myself to be on my best thoroughly-married behavior. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizz Layta Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 I meant do these guys think you are flirting or want them when they find a way to mention their SO in the conversation? because I didnt give that impression at all and all the sudden they drop the bomb Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I've had girls do this to me just the same. Pretty sure everyone does it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Gotcha, I misread. What I said still stands, though. I'm not sure whether in my case the woman was flirting with me or not. It was more of a reminder to myself to be very attentive to the boundaries I impose on myself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shvrk Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I mention i have a boyfriend in conversation if I feel the person I'm talking to is showing too much interest. Or if I'm uncomfortable. Usually once they ask me my age or something I'd say I'm going to my boyfriends or I'm picking something for him... Anything to steer them away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I meant do these guys think you are flirting or want them when they find a way to mention their SO in the conversation? because I didnt give that impression at all and all the sudden they drop the bomb Even if you weren't flirting, they mention their SO in case you were flirting or they weren't sure. Don't get all upset about it; some people think that every M/F friendly encounter is flirtation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Why they do it can either be deliberate or just conversational and they're not worried about anything -- but those are the type guys you want when you get married, not the type you're crushing on who is basically trying to deceive you and cheat on his wife by leaving her out of the conversation. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Both men and women do this. It's pretty typical when making small talk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizz Layta Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 Thank you guys for your response and no I am not upset about it. I was just curious since I know most females slip the boyfriend or husband in the conversation when they sense the guy is attracted to them and wants them As for me I an friendly and smile allot so I guess some guys could mistaken that as interest when I am just friendly 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 On the other hand... On the other hand,my crush never mentioned his girlfriend in front of me.I even asked him if he ever goes out in spare time and he just said he does to pub sometime.He never mentioned the girlfriend in the conversation.I found out through someone else he told.He doesn't know that i know. I think your crush was being a bit deceitful by omission. He probably liked the attention you gave him and thought you wouldn't be giving him the attention if you knew he had a girlfriend. I'm sure his girlfriend wouldn't be too happy to know about this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizz Layta Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 On the other hand... I think your crush was being a bit deceitful by omission. He probably liked the attention you gave him and thought you wouldn't be giving him the attention if you knew he had a girlfriend. I'm sure his girlfriend wouldn't be too happy to know about this. I honestly thought he was single because he told me that I looked good when I wore make up for the first time and he has been making eye contact allot,smilling with me and been friendly with me lately. His face lit up when he sees me.So I thought I had chance until another co worker told us that he told her that he had been taking care of his girlfriend that is sick. So that discouraged me since I now know he is taken. That's why I was wondering why he never mentioned her in the conversation but then some guys they will find a way to slip their SO in the conversation even the first time we talk Link to post Share on other sites
Vercetti Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 If somehow end up talking to a girl without my wife around, my wife will be brought up quickly in case the thick bespoke ring on finger went unnoticed. It's not cause think everyone is flirting, it's cause if flirting happens after that I know I'm dealing with someone to be 100% avoided in the future. Soon as see wife will tell her the " get this crap " story. SOME women ( and men ) just love pulling stupid crap. It can be simple as they say " That's a shame / She isn't here now " after boundaries are made clear. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Your crush never mentioned his girlfriend because he's an a** who was trying to see what he coudl get away with. the other guys mention their wives because they're married and don't want anyone to confuse them with a single guy. Or - maybe it's just so natural to talk about their wives that they mention them no matter who they're talking to. It might not be about you. :-) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 No - it doesn't necessarily mean that they think you are flirting with them, but mentioning your wife or girlfriend is a very non-threatening way to identify the nature of the relationship right away. Sometimes they do so as a means to establish boundaries for themselves. I am trying to figure out your question though. Are you really wondering why men mention their spouse or girlfriend or are you really asking why your "crush" has not mentioned his? Why do you think he hasn't said anything about her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mizz Layta Posted April 3, 2015 Author Share Posted April 3, 2015 No - it doesn't necessarily mean that they think you are flirting with them, but mentioning your wife or girlfriend is a very non-threatening way to identify the nature of the relationship right away. Sometimes they do so as a means to establish boundaries for themselves. I am trying to figure out your question though. Are you really wondering why men mention their spouse or girlfriend or are you really asking why your "crush" has not mentioned his? Why do you think he hasn't said anything about her? Both questions. why some men casually mention right away and why some man like my crush don't mention unless directly asked. My crush lives with his girlfriend presumably since he told someone that he has been staying at home taking of her because she has been sick. I asked him a while back where he lives and he just said in clevert area. Some man will say,``i live in clevert with my girlfriend`` Its just curiousity really Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 It's a form of self sabotage, to ward off the developing intimacy one partner may be feeling. These men do it to you because they're loyal, your crush doesn't mention anything because he isn't. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 If I think she's interested by I'm not, I'll mention my wife. If I think she's interested and I am too, I'll mention my open relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 If I'm flirting with a girl I almost always prefer that they bring up their SO casually before I ever get to the point where I would ask for their number. Sure makes things less awkward for all involved Link to post Share on other sites
devilish innocent Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Maybe their wives are such a big part of their lives that they're bound to come up. Most people I meet know that I'm married within five minutes of having a conversation with me. It's not because I'm purposefully trying to mention husband. I just don't have that much of a life outside of the time we spend together. If I'm talking about anything, my husband, or his friends or family, are likely to be relevant so he will get mentioned. If somebody never mentions their significant other after a number of conversations, they're probably either being silent on purpose or don't have much of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 i think its very normal to mention their SO, just like people mention their brothers, parents and mates. I don't think it always means they think you are flirting. It's not always about you. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Of course it's normal to mention the person you spend most of your wakings hours with and are in love with. It's a good way of setting boundaries, as other posters have stated. It doesn't mean that they think you were flirting necessarily, maybe they always make a point of mentioning that they're not available if they start a one on one conversation with a new person of the opposite sex. I know for me I'm a really friendly smiley person and tend to make friends wherever I go, but if a guy comes over to talk to me for no apparent reason and he is showing a lot of interest in me it's generally to be hit on so I'll casually mention the boyfriend, as it's a lot easier to nip it in the bud there than it is to wait for them to ask for your number and have to mention it. Less awkward. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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