Time To Move On

[Majormisstep]

I couldn't stand the pain of limbo, purgatory one more day. Called stbx yesterday and asked him if he was available for coffee or dinner. Yes he was free for dinner and off we went. When the meal was finished he inquired why I asked to meet with him.

 

Because, I said, I am so incredibly sorry for all the sh*tty things I did in our M. ALL of them (by this time he escorts me to the vehicle quickly because the dam is about to burst {tears}). He apologized too. Said I didn't ruin the M by myself, he played his part as well. I said I just wanted some support, that's all. He shared with me how messed up he was over this and that he can never get over it. Needs to move on he said, and told me to do the same. I asked him why he hasn't filed yet and he replied that he was just performing basic functions each day. The task was too daunting but the time will come.

 

So there it is, a 25 year M gone. I have no choice but to move on. Think I'll sign up for on-line dating today. Maybe the distraction will help.

[minimariah]

*hugs*

 

give yourself time to grieve & heal.

[kenmore]

Hugs Misstep,

 

I had decided I was not going to talk about this in this forum because I thought so many people would call me a fool, but after reading your post, I think maybe it's appropriate.

 

I decided to get "out there" today and really hit the streets for my insurance business. I went up to where I used to work for 30 years, and went business to business. I did this until I ran out of the materials I brought, but had some residential materials tailor made for the city I used to live in which is nearby. Something pulled me to the exact neighborhood I used to live with my wife (she still lives there.) The exact street even! I parked about seven houses from her house (she was supposed to be at work), and started house to house. I deliberately stopped two houses away, and went up the hill along an adjacent street.

 

After about an hour, I ran out of materials so headed back for my car, and as I was heading toward her house, sure enough...she drives up and pulls into her garage. As I'm walking down the hill, I see her and her daughter get out of the car, start getting things out of the car and know the whole time she will see me. Of course she did, so I said hello and we talked for awhile. She was happy to see me but completely shocked.

 

It was pleasant, we just caught up a little, but then she started to break down and told me how sad she is that things are how they are. Then she said she had to barf, so I said goodbye and she went in. Later she texted and we were talking about me moving my stuff out of her house into storage. I want to do that next weekend. Eventually she asked me why I don't just leave it there and save the money until I have a place to move it into, and I said because since our marriage is over, I want my stuff to be out so I can be done. She did not reply.

 

I did not want this to go this way. I don't want to hurt her. I really did not expect nor want to see her today and I have no idea why of all streets and places I went there, other than to re-connect with my old neighbors and maybe have a better chance at selling something than with strangers. I really felt compelled to go there.

 

Strangely, today's encounter had no emotional effect on me whatsoever.

 

Plus, I have a date with another woman to the ballet next Sat.

 

I think I'm moving on too, but in a different way. While I do still care about my wife and wished with all my heart it could have worked out, I am grasping the fact that it didn't and it's really time to move on with my life without her. It was nice seeing her today, but that's all I can say about it. It was nice to see and hug my step-daughter too. I really do miss her!

 

I'm embarrassed about this but after reading what you wrote, maybe you can see why I told. I guess I was compelled to do that as well.

 

More hugs, and I wish you strength and peace!!

 

Ken

[Majormisstep]

Yeah, I think we have to touch the hot stove a few times before we get tired of being burned.

 

I'm in insurance too LOL.

 

Signed up on that dating site and OMG, I haven't laughed that hard for a very long time. Was good. Have a date tomorrow with someone I've had a distant crush on for the past month so maybe things are looking up!