Hubbys icon?

[JadeStar]

Hello all I have a question. Hopefully someone can help me out. Ok, we have AOL as our provider and yahoo as our second email/messenger. The other day hubby comes in from work and gets on the computer. Once AOL comes up, yahoo will too and we have an icon that you can double click at the bottom of the screen if you want to im someone etc. I was coming out of the bathroom and hubby says to me, "Whats this? Why is there 2 little people at the bottom of the screen for msn messenger?" I told him I do not know I don't have that on my screen. (We have seperate screens, always have).

 

There was no more mention of it. Later on when he was in the shower his screen was up so I clicked the little blue button at the bottom where some icons are to see if that msn messenger icon was still there, it wasn't. So I'm thinking ok he got rid of it. I do think thats odd, because its never been there before. Sure we have access to msn but you have to have an account or download it for mail or messenger. The next day he comes in from work gets on the computer and he calles me in their to look at a vehicle he was looking at. I noticed at the bottm of the screen the little msn icon people for the messenger was down at the bottom right beside our yahoo smiley face. I didn't say anything. Maybe he didn't even notice it was there, not sure.

 

A little later he went to get in the shower, I looked at the bottom to see if it was there, once again it was gone. It wasn't even hid in the little blue button. So I'm getting really confused now for why one minute its there the next its not. This morning after he went to work, I got on his screen thinkink once I signed on it would come up, just as yahoo does when loading. It did not come up, it wasn't anywhere to be found.

 

Heres my question, in order for him to have that icon, does that mean he has msn messenger? See heres my concern, most all of our friends/family either have AOL or Yahoo. Theres only one person I know of that has msn, and thats a woman he works with. A woman that at one point he was sending nasty pics too as jokes or whatever, then I called him on it and he stopped. Thats been months ago. He is also the type of person that would probably purposly download something like that to try and pinpoint something on me, make it look like I did it when I didn't. He has made many false accusations against me in the past for things I didn't do.

 

Sorry this post is so long, just trying to understand whats going on. I don't know alot about computers and I was just wondering if its there if he does have it. Its not on my screen. I don't understand why when I got on his screen it didn't come up but when hes on it, it does. If anyone can help me out that may have msn and can tell me for sure if it sounds as if he has it etc, it would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

 

 

Jade

[Craig]

Try rebooting the computer. MSN may load on startup and your H may quite innocently just kill the icon rather than having it running in the background using system resources. Or he may be hiding something. Try rebooting first.

[tiki]

You might be able to find out when it was loaded. You can get a lot of useful information when right clicking from the program and going to properties. Although, the properties of the little icon could be different, it may be more of a set-up type of format. You should be able to go to start, programs - then look for the program there. Or do a search on it.

 

Doesn't sound good. I wish you luck.

[LittleMiss]

If those icons are on the computer then it has to have been downloaded from MSN Messenger. That's the only way it would appear there. Why don't you ask him? Next time you see it on there ask him why it's there or ask him to open it so you can see for yourself. If he gets all nervous and refuses then you know he is hiding something.

[GirlDown]

i used to have those little people icons too, and i don't use msn messenger. they would appear with a little red x to show i was not signed on. i never downloaded msn messenger, i assumed it came with a program on my computer. it was there as soon as the initial set-up was finished, when my laptop was brand new.

 

i never used it, and no one else used my computer. i could delete it, but if turned my laptop off and back on again, they would be back, little red x and all. i would delete, they would come back. now they're gone for good, and i am unsure where they went, but i do not miss them. i tried to get rid of them because i had too many icons already and they were in the way.

 

i don't think it's something to be worried about, unless other things seem to point to that he's up to something.

[tiki]

Originally posted by GirlDown

i used to have those little people icons too, and i don't use msn messenger. they would appear with a little red x to show i was not signed on. i never downloaded msn messenger, i assumed it came with a program on my computer. it was there as soon as the initial set-up was finished, when my laptop was brand new.

 

i never used it, and no one else used my computer. i could delete it, but if turned my laptop off and back on again, they would be back, little red x and all. i would delete, they would come back. now they're gone for good, and i am unsure where they went, but i do not miss them. i tried to get rid of them because i had too many icons already and they were in the way.

 

This sounds familiar. It seems like I had this happen too, a while back.

 

OP, is your PC new?

[Dino]

I do a lot of work with computers, and this is almost certainly nothing to be worried about. First of all, the MSN Messenger program comes with Windows. Second, it's near impossible to get rid of completely unless you know exactly what you're doing. Also, even if you do manage to get rid of it completely, many Windows updates (which Windows does automatically) will put it back. For some reason Microsoft keeps trying to shove this down everyone's throat and doesn't want you to get rid of it.

 

Windows will hide the icons that haven't been used in a certain period of time (a week maybe, I don't know the exact time frame), and the "little blue button" you referred to allows you to see them again. What probably happened was; you never noticed it before because it was always hidden behind the "little blue button". One day, your husband (or even possibly yourself) might have clicked the little blue button to unhide the rest of the icons. Then if he would have clicked on the MSN Messenger icon, even accidentally, it would start to show it again and reset the timer that tells it when to be hidden. Now you take notice to it, and it won't go hidden again on its own because you and your husband keep playing with it and clicking on it and resetting the timer.

 

Does that make sense? I tried to explain it the best I could online.

 

I'm sure he's just as confused as you are why it's there now all the time, and he keeps closing it (by right-clicking on it), which is why sometimes you can't find it at all. However, it will keep coming back when you restart your computer.

[GirlDown]

yup, that was me.

 

i just realized my boyfriend must have gotten rid of it when i complained. he's a computer genius, too.

 

my little blue button is also gone...will it come back if i end up with more icons?

[Dino]

Originally posted by GirlDown

yup, that was me.

 

i just realized my boyfriend must have gotten rid of it when i complained. he's a computer genius, too.

 

my little blue button is also gone...will it come back if i end up with more icons?

 

If your "little blue button" is gone, it might not necessarily come back on its own. This is a feature of Windows that can be disabled, which your boyfriend might have done. If he knows how to completely get rid of MSN Messenger, I'm sure he can turn the "hide inactive icons" feature (which is what it's called) back on within a matter of seconds if you want it there.

[JadeStar]

Hello thanks for the replys. I guess it either one of 2 things. Either he downloaded it and is chatting with the woman from work or it could be like Dino said. I remember when we first got the puter 2 years ago, I noticed about 2 weeks after getting it where my hubby had the msn email butterfly icon on his screen and I didn't on on mine. I asked him about it and he said he didn't know how it got there, the next day it was gone, and hasn't been there since. Yes I know people have the option to have msn etc, but as far as the little icon at the bottom its not on my screen never has been. I noticed when I see it on his screen it does have the red x on it meaning hes not signed in.

 

Something I failed to mention which may or may not matter. Like I said I haven't noticed it before until about 2 days ago. He has acted way overly happy for about 2 weeks now, however 2 days ago he came home from work all down and out. Like something was wrong. I asked him and he said nothing. As soon as he hit the door, he got on the puter and theres the icon. Then he asks me what it was and where it came from. Like I said in my first post he is one to purposly do something then try to pin it on me like I did it and that I have something to hide. When in fact its him. Hes transferring over to me what he has done.

 

Now I'm not saying for sure thats the way this is right now, but all to concindental to me the icon was never there before the day it is he acts all down and out then asks me what it was. I have heard I can try going to the program files or maybe its windows files and find something called app data and if he has an account it will show me his email or im screen address. Might try it. Thanks again.

 

 

Jade

[tiki]

Yeah, I think you should check the properties and check the 'created' date.

[JadeStar]

Hi tiki, it was created 2 weeks after we got the computer. August 2002. That was when I saw the msn email butterfly icon but never saw the messenger icon until 2 days ago. The email icon was on his screen but not mine just as the icon is. Are you meaning the properties for the messenger, when it was created? Not sure how to do that. I don't know alot about computers...lol thanks again.

 

 

Jade

[tiki]

2002, cool....How long has he known the girl?

[RecordProducer]

Jade, click on the green (blue) icon and open MSN Messenger (on your husband's computer). Go to TOOLS then OPTIONS then PRIVACY. You will see the accounts that your husband has added on (if any). Email addresses are available in the right column so you will know if your husband is talking to any of them.

If you press VIEW (on the same page) you will see who's added your husband to their account.

The icon is visible only if MSN messenger is downloaded (either automatically or on purpose).

I think Hotmail creates an MSN account automatically, but I am totally not sure about this.

If your husband is not acting uncomfortable when he's on the computer and you're around then he's probably clean.

Did he accuse you of being responsible for things while being aware that HE was responsible (in the past)? I mean, if he said "you lost this and that" and it turned out that he lost it, it doesn't mean he accused you on purpose. Just asking..

[JadeStar]

Dayummmm tiki what you trying to say? You think he might be chatting with this girl for real? Or windows created the icon like Dino said? LOL....anyway to answer your question he works with this woman and had been working with her for about maybe 2 or 3 months before we ever got the computer. He used to send her emails/dirty ones like emails we all send to each other etc, not one he wrote, from our AOL, I asked him to stop he did (or at least from AOL) shes the only person I know of that has msn.

 

 

Thanks so much Record, I will try that. To answer your question, yes for awhile now he finds ways to turn the tables on me. Been many instances where he has done something then turns it around on me. Example: about a year ago, there was a phone number on a piece of paper laying on the dresser. I knew the number, it was friend of his not far from where he worked. One day he comes in and asks me who this number is (the one laying on the dresser.) I said "you should know its your friend". He then says to me (defensivly) "all I know is I called it and it was a man". I laughed my a$$ off! I said "sure its a man isn't that your friend Randys number?" He looked like a deer caught in headlights. I don't get it, he knew that was his friends number but yet got pi$$ed at me thinking I was talking with another man and it was his friends number all along. Plus theres been other crap too...to long to list. Anyway thanks again.

 

 

Jade

[JadeStar]

Ahhhhhhhh I just found out something from a friend of mine. Down at the bottom of my screen and his we both have a msn music match juke box icon. She said thats probably where the messenger icon came from. I have the music match icon but not the messenger icon. He listens too music or downloads cds or whatever on that, so that might be possibly where it came from. However looks like if I have the msn juke box icon I would have the messenger icon too, oh well. Thanks again.

 

 

 

Jade

[Bubbles]

Has he always been accusatory with you? Or is this something that is just recent.

 

You know.....there's nothing wrong with checking up on your partner. That does not mean Snoop unnecessarily but asking pertinant questions may be suitable to you needs. No-one should trust 100% that's when you get fooled! I say trust 99% and leave the 1% to your "gut".

 

Oh Lord.......I'm going to get burned for that one!

 

bubbles

[RecordProducer]

Originally posted by Bubbles

No-one should trust 100% that's when you get fooled! I say trust 99% and leave the 1% to your "gut".

Oh Lord.......I'm going to get burned for that one!

bubbles

 

No, Bubbles, you are right. Matter of fact, by checking you gain trust cuz you find proofs that your partner is worth the trust. By listening to your intuition you find internal signs.

You can't just trust someone foolishly no matter what, because not everyone is worth your trust. In an ideal world you would trust your partner completely, but only if he is worth it. In other words, when you don't trust your partner it's not always YOU, it might be him who doesn't deserve it.

Regarding the checking, it's better to sneak around and find out that nothing was wrong than question or accuse him for nothing.

When you say "I know my partner is faithful to me", it should mean you KNOW! (not think...pretty sure...kinda...)

[JadeStar]

Hi bubbles, actually I didn't snoop hes the one that brought to my attention the icon at the bottom of his screen then I just kind of went from there because it wasn't on mine. However I do believe in the saying, "when in doubt check it." LOL....he got accusatory with me about 2 years ago, before we got the computer. I questioned him on why he strated drinking so much etc and it kind of went from there.

 

I remember a time when I went to the mall to find a new dress, I came home empty handed because I couldn't find nothing. When I got home he told me since I came home empty handed I must have not been at the mall. He was very hateful about it. The next day he apologized saying a buddy from work said he saw me at the mall. I said I know he did and I was going to tell you I saw him but you didn't give me a chance. He even has rumaged through our trash can trying to find papers etc anything to try to pin something on me. It was funny but then again its sad, he tries so hard to pin sh*t on me and he can't seem to find nothing on me, thats because I haven't done anything nor have anything to hide.

 

 

Jade

[Bubbles]

Hate to say it JadeStar but he's acting out of "GUILT" if he is still doing this. I know.......I was screwed around on by my ex b/f and that's what he did to me........he turned it around so that I was the one always on the defence so much that I couldn't shake the crap out of my head enough to realize what he was DOING!

 

Guilt I tell you. It'll give 'em away EVERY TIME!!!

 

bubbles

[JadeStar]

Bubbles, I ageee it gives em away everytime. However not long after we got the computer he got hooked on, OH NO SAY IT ANIT SO.......PORN! I called him on it several times and then he finally he got off it. After that was when I noticed big time accusations from him. Even though he was off of it. Which led me to believe maybe it was something else instead of the porn. You know looks like if he was off the porn he would have stopped with the false accusations. I think it came form him feeling guilty from that. However I haven't seen porn in a long time, so not sure if thats where it still comes from or not. The accusations aren't as bad as they used to be but every once in awhile he will pop one out at me.

 

 

Jade

[Bubbles]

Every once in a while is acceptable......as I said there's that 1% and he's allowed that much but.......so are we!

 

Glad to hear that all is well.

 

bubbles

[FolderWife]

on my computer here at work I am the ONLY person that can get on it, because it's password protected.

 

And occasionally...but not always the windows messanger icon with a little red circle with an x in the middle shows up down at the bottom of my screen where the clock is.

 

sometimes, I'll right click and close it, in case it's using memory or something to slow my computer down.

 

so in this case, I doubt that your husband downloaded it..it probably just showed up.

[JadeStar]

Thanks so much to all that replied. I did what Record said and checked the messenger. He DOES NOT have an account or is talking on the messenger. Nothing was in there at all. So guess it was like Dino orginally said windows could have done it during an update or it could have come from the msn music match too. Thanks again to all!

 

 

Jade