Author ravfour4 Posted May 2, 2015 Author Share Posted May 2, 2015 (edited) First day NC! Feels so great to have my keys back. I felt depressed about it earlier, just all kinds of random good memories flooding my mind, but I can also finally see things clearly again and remember what she's been like for the past ~6-8 months. I can picture her leaving me to go meet up with that guy to do sexual things and then coming back and watching a movie with me - terrible. I can also see how insecure and vulnerable she was by jumping to that guy, telling him she still liked me and then going right back. I can remember how she loved me almost instantly and I had to do minimal to get her. Of course I ate it up at the time, she was hot and fun and we hit it off, but now I know I want a girl who wants, not needs me. I look back in our relationship and remember how unreliable she was and how she almost never did the "right" thing when I was down in the dumps or sick, she didn't know what I wanted despite me telling her multiple times after 4 years of being together. Things were only good when I was good. That guy and her are both crazy. If she had told me she still loved her ex 3 months into our relationship, just wait here while I go on a date with him, I would have bolted knowing that the feeling would just stay there or grow, but they're both desperate as hell. I hope/think a week or so from now I'll feel exponentially better. Edited May 2, 2015 by ravfour4 Link to post Share on other sites
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