Can't take the fakeness of OLD

[Mrlonelyone]

Leigh 87

 

No one who has a degree is saying that not having one means one is less intelligent. What ES and I and others are saying is that we value a formal university education the way that others value religion. I for one have been with people who did not have that education the truth is there was always a defensiveness on their part and a walking on egg shells on my part.

 

I am now a professor. If I try to date someone who does not have a degree...but is not some kind of self taught Ben Franklin level accomplished person I'm asking for heartbreak.

 

What people like ES and myself are saying is that we have learned the hard way that a mismatch in terms of education is going to be a problem.

 

What does that have to do with this thread??? and why do you get a kick out of it and how do you know it even happens!! I think everybody wants to be with somebody who is attractive to them it's not about "more' or "less"!!

 

There is such a thing as more or less attractive. As a tv show in my country joked.

There are objective differences in looks based on principles of symmetry and normality of form.

 

A man who looks like the Elephant man can't expect to score a model. A woman who looks plain jane and average can't expect to score Tom Brady. Tom Brady is Married to Gisselle Bundchen for a reason. He's handsome, he's attractive, and he's not un attractive (and he's rich).

 

Couples where there is a big huge gap in looks, education, money, social class have a hard time.

Edited April 17, 2015 by Mrlonelyone

[SawtoothMars]

Thank you! I wouldn't say its entirely a choice. If I were to choose, I would choose to meet somebody I really connected with. The main situation in which I find myself talking to men is in the park or walking along the river, if they have a dog. I know, from a male friend in the US, that over there a chat like that would likely lead to a date invitation in the event that the man was single. Doesn't really happen that way here. You can like somebody, and they might like you, but at the end of the conversation it will just be an awkward "well. Nice meeting you..." scenario that leads to nothing.

There's certainly not the same degree of pressure (to be coupled up) as there is in other countries. It's just a bit wearisome to constantly find yourself having to justify being single to people who ask.

 

Taramere, you are witty and smart and fun to read. I have no idea what you look like, but I can't imagine you have zero options with as many great character traits as you have. So.... I'm thinking you are just waiting for a deal closer to what you want. I don't think there is any shame in that.

 

I really think most of the pressure to be "coupled" is internal. Most of us hate being lonely, and have a strong desire to be loved. I've been to countries with social pressure on women... heck in most of Asia women over 30 are considered past their expiration date and generally ignored in the dating pool. Meanwhile girls under 30 are like hotdogs in a shark tank... Ok maybe that's hyperbole... but you get the picture.

[road]

 

I would love to meet a single guy I connect with - but in terms of how much less single men I meet in every day life than in my late 20s for example, it's not looking good. I am not trying to be fatalastic, but if you look up at any statistics on numbers of single people, it's a fact that they sharply decline with age.

 

 

No you would not.

 

 

You say that as the years go by the pickings only get slimmer.

 

 

Yet you refuse to accept a man that did not go to college.

 

 

Many men that did not go to college are good husbands and dads.

 

 

You still not have answered why you can not accept a man that did not go to college.

 

 

Why?

 

 

Is it that the reasons are shallow, not defensible?

 

 

My wife did not go to college, does not have a big rack, big career, long legs, never be hired to be a model.

 

 

Though that does not mean my wife is not good looking, not smart, not rich only in money.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I knew the chances of me pulling in a woman with a 6 figure salary, looks to get her roles as Jennifer Anniston and other top tiered actresses, legs up to here, holding my hand just underneath my chin.

 

 

That does not mean I just settled on my wife.

 

 

For you as others confuse settling with realizing that you pulled in the best that you can and being ecstatic because you never thought that you would of done this well finding a mate.

Edited April 17, 2015 by road

[road]

Thank you! I wouldn't say its entirely a choice. If I were to choose, I would choose to meet somebody I really connected with. The main situation in which I find myself talking to men is in the park or walking along the river, if they have a dog. I know, from a male friend in the US, that over there a chat like that would likely lead to a date invitation in the event that the man was single. Doesn't really happen that way here. You can like somebody, and they might like you, but at the end of the conversation it will just be an awkward "well. Nice meeting you..." scenario that leads to nothing.

 

 

 

There's certainly not the same degree of pressure (to be coupled up) as there is in other countries. It's just a bit wearisome to constantly find yourself having to justify being single to people who ask.

 

 

Nothing wrong with you asking for the date.

 

 

If I was single and saw a girl that I liked walking her dog I would the dog to start the conversation. Then say I enjoy talking with you lets meet up for coffee and a dog walk, how about next....... at ......o'clock.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh 87

 

No one who has a degree is saying that not having one means one is less intelligent. What ES and I and others are saying is that we value a formal university education the way that others value religion. I for one have been with people who did not have that education the truth is there was always a defensiveness on their part and a walking on egg shells on my part.

 

I am now a professor. If I try to date someone who does not have a degree...but is not some kind of self taught Ben Franklin level accomplished person I'm asking for heartbreak.

 

What people like ES and myself are saying is that we have learned the hard way that a mismatch in terms of education is going to be a problem.

 

 

 

There is such a thing as more or less attractive. As a tv show in my country joked.

There are objective differences in looks based on principles of symmetry and normality of form.

 

A man who looks like the Elephant man can't expect to score a model. A woman who looks plain jane and average can't expect to score Tom Brady. Tom Brady is Married to Gisselle Bundchen for a reason. He's handsome, he's attractive, and he's not un attractive (and he's rich).

 

Couples where there is a big huge gap in looks, education, money, social class have a hard time.

 

 

I don't think Giselle is attractive. Her nose is even bigger than mine. And on a smaller face.

 

She has a rocking body and she is still pleasant to look at. But she's not what I personally view as gorgeous or beautiful.

 

Looks are definitely semi objective.

 

But while I don't find her attractive, she has ample supplies of men and women who DO all think she's a stunner. She different from a plane Jane with less options who I personally may find more attractive than Giselle.

[Woggle]

I even remember reading a website where "authentic men" were speaking and they were saying: online dating? no. We don't do that. Authentic men are out in the world. Volunteering, being heavily involved in their own passions, out achieving their goals.

 

The quantity vs. quality of online dating is apparent. Quantity is through the roof. Quality? bottom of the barrel.

 

I have a whole list of things I want to do this summer. Tons of stuff going on! And I think I'll have a lot more success finding the right person for me when I'm really out there instead of sitting in a room scrolling through computer images.

 

For the most part there is nothing authentic about the world of online dating in general.

[KatZee]

For the most part there is nothing authentic about the world of online dating in general.

 

Maybe that's what my problem is then.

 

I'm super authentic. In life, and online. And I hold myself to that standard, and I expect that standard in return... exceptt... I'm looking and assuming I'm going to find that online. WRONG!

[Woggle]

I don't have anything against anybody for having education but real life experience matters as well and I wish some academics would understand that. I meet people who simply can't understand why I still want to hang out with old friends and why loyalty to the people I grew up around means so much to me. In my book the best and truest friends you have are the ones who had your back at the bottom and if for some reason I ever ended up there again they are the only ones I feel can truly count on. Why would I chuck them aside just because I got a degree and did well for myself? My wife is the only women I have been with who didn't feel that I needed to evolve and grow out of them. I think sometimes intellectual types shelter themselves too much from how the world outside of the walls of academia is.

[wb1988]

OP I'd just stick with it. You meet a bunch of frogs till you find the prince right?

 

Also OLD can lead to other dating opportunities and you might end up meeting your ideal guy. The very best gf I had (unfortunately I messed up with because I was young & dumb) was the friend of a girl that I had a few dates with whom I meet off OLD.

 

All girls in their 20's think that everything lasts forever and forget that with us guys age is a big factor. I'm only 26 and even I already have ex's that I wouldn't date because they're too old.

[Throldur]

I'm a quality guy on OLD.. I get passed over 'cause I'm not photogenic, I'm assuming.

[Anela]

 

All girls in their 20's think that everything lasts forever and forget that with us guys age is a big factor. I'm only 26 and even I already have ex's that I wouldn't date because they're too old.

 

Seriously? Bloody hell.

[Mrlonelyone]

I don't think Giselle is attractive. Her nose is even bigger than mine. And on a smaller face.

 

She has a rocking body and she is still pleasant to look at. But she's not what I personally view as gorgeous or beautiful.

 

Looks are definitely semi objective. .

 

Looks are somewhat objective but not as much as people would like to think. It is nice to think there is a lid for every pot and a pot for every lid....but some pots are damaged and some lids are deformed.

 

Giselle is attractive the objective evidence for that is the general agreement of many people of both genders over many years. The same goes for Tom Brady. It is no wonder they are together.

 

 

The same goes for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. It is no wonder that they are together.

 

 

The women I have been with. Were tom boyish but about as good looking as I am and based on their interest and education as intelligent as I am. Both of the major women in my life are scientist.

 

People date and mate assoratatively based on looks and demonstrable intelligence (inventiveness and creativity) the last four million years of our evolution are based on this.

 

 

Darwin's theory of evolution by natural and sexual selection dictates this is true.

 

ES wants a quality man on her level that she can feel good about being with. She wants a man who will produce good looking intelligent kids. That is a very natural thing to want.

[Eggplant]

All girls in their 20's think that everything lasts forever and forget that with us guys age is a big factor. I'm only 26 and even I already have ex's that I wouldn't date because they're too old.

 

Make no mistake: women in their 20's are VERY aware of age as a factor.

 

Secondly, if 26 is too old for you, then you are not valuable as a partner anyway. Suppose a woman married you at, say, 24. Then what becomes of your relationship for the rest of her life after 2 years? Are we supposed to trap you while we still can and then guilt you into staying? F that.

[wb1988]

Make no mistake: women in their 20's are VERY aware of age as a factor.

 

Secondly, if 26 is too old for you, then you are not valuable as a partner anyway. Suppose a woman married you at, say, 24. Then what becomes of your relationship for the rest of her life after 2 years? Are we supposed to trap you while we still can and then guilt you into staying? F that.

 

Oh sorry maybe what I was saying came off wrong. I (like many guys) like the cute innocent girl type and usually that goes away when girls turn 24 or 25. I've got no problem with a girl getting older, but I wouldn't start off with a girl thats like 24+, maybe when I'm 35 or 40 then I'd be ok with 27+.

[Emilia]

Oh sorry maybe what I was saying came off wrong. I (like many guys) like the cute innocent girl type and usually that goes away when girls turn 24 or 25. I've got no problem with a girl getting older, but I wouldn't start off with a girl thats like 24+, maybe when I'm 35 or 40 then I'd be ok with 27+.

You will - hopefully - mature into prefering women over girls. At your age it's natural to like innocence, as you grow and mature hopefully your preference will change for someone that matches your own experiences.

[Leigh 87]

Oh sorry maybe what I was saying came off wrong. I (like many guys) like the cute innocent girl type and usually that goes away when girls turn 24 or 25. I've got no problem with a girl getting older, but I wouldn't start off with a girl thats like 24+, maybe when I'm 35 or 40 then I'd be ok with 27+.

 

 

 

Good luck with that.

 

My recent ex is late 20's but dated 18 - 20 year olds.

 

He said they were mostly stupid or extremely ignorant.

 

Most of them cheated.

 

He's now seeking the more intelligent, worldly women irrespective of age.

[road]

I don't think Giselle is attractive. Her nose is even bigger than mine. And on a smaller face.

 

She has a rocking body and she is still pleasant to look at. But she's not what I personally view as gorgeous or beautiful.

 

Looks are definitely semi objective.

 

But while I don't find her attractive, she has ample supplies of men and women who DO all think she's a stunner. She different from a plane Jane with less options who I personally may find more attractive than Giselle.

 

 

 

 

I agree she has a face that gets close to meeting 2 bag status (so I exaggerate). She has the talent to pose her face just right in front of the camera, strut those long legs, tall slim toned with the mandatory hot babe long hair.

 

 

Though her face is average, skin color poor, skin condition fair, hair only has length going for it for it looks like dry straw, not much of a rack or anything else except her height and long legs.

 

 

A case of emperor's new clothes.

[road]

Make no mistake: women in their 20's are VERY aware of age as a factor.

 

Secondly, if 26 is too old for you, then you are not valuable as a partner anyway. Suppose a woman married you at, say, 24. Then what becomes of your relationship for the rest of her life after 2 years? Are we supposed to trap you while we still can and then guilt you into staying? F that.

 

 

 

 

He and her both age though the age difference will remain the same. He will always have a hot woman that is 4 years younger them himself for the rest of his life/marriage.

[Taramere]

I don't think Giselle is attractive. Her nose is even bigger than mine. And on a smaller face.

 

She has a rocking body and she is still pleasant to look at. But she's not what I personally view as gorgeous or beautiful.

 

I think with fashion models it's often less about looking pretty in the conventional sense, and more about having strong presence. Gisele Bundchen hasn't got a cute face with a button nose etc, but I can see why she would be a top model.

 

First of all she's got the basic requirements. Tall, very slim and with symmetrical features. That might look "average" - but symmetrical features really aren't the norm, which would become strikingly apparent if you placed her next to somebody with a similar look but who didn't have symmetrical features.

 

Generally, although she isn't cute and chocolate box pretty looking, I think she's a model people would want to use when they want to convey strength and intelligence. Which is what makes her beautiful and successful as a model. The personal qualities she conveys or hints at in her professional pictures.