Can't take the fakeness of OLD

[SawtoothMars]

I would say a category 3 for you both.

 

Category 3 was "no job, no education". I have a great job and finished college so long ago it's hard to remember. I am actually in another category... Men who are already married!

 

I think what gets me about your attitude towards dating is that you seem to be condescending in a massive way. As if all these guys online are in a class below you, and you have to dirty yourself just to speak with them... potentially even waste an evening talking to one about mundane things like family and hobbies.

 

If you are an introvert and generally don't like to be around people... I can get that. However, that doesn't justify the arrogance of it. You still need to at least pretend to be humble.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Thanks IMJ, that's nice of you to say.

 

They are not picking my brain because they think I settled.

 

I don't think you settled. Settled to me means being unhappy about being with someone. I think that you are happy. But, you are also much more pragmatic than me. It also seemed like you have put a lot of effort into finding a relationship; I just don't want the realtionship enough to go through all that. I have done my 100 dates and am now focusing on other things. I don't think that finding a relationship should be more work than finding a job.

 

In my work even, while I do work hard, I have also had a number of lucky breaks that helped me stay passionate and motivated. Dating just feels like pure hard work, with no reward of any genuine feeling of chemistry or connection.

 

My view is, if it's not natural, it's not meant to be.

[Taramere]

I don't like calling people out personally for the most part because it always comes across as an insult but the ones who has the most posts after the OP.

 

Me? I've got about 400 posts less than ES and am perpetually single so I seem the likely candidate - though I think I've only posted the once on this thread. If it was me you were referring to, just say. I won't be offended. I'll just answer the point. But obviously if you were talking about somebody else it would be silly to write an "about me" spiel.

[Leigh 87]

Me? I've got about 400 posts less than ES and am perpetually single so I seem the likely candidate - though I think I've only posted the once on this thread. If it was me you were referring to, just say. I won't be offended. I'll just answer the point. But obviously if you were talking about somebody else it would be silly to write an "about me" spiel.

 

I think we are all curious to know WHY women like you are perpetually single.

 

You both sound highly intelligent and impressive and like you have nice personalities!

 

And if how you first meet online has any influence. Maybe she should attend more live events since Online seems contrived and fake.

 

Most here are hinting that meeting just as many men in person would yield the same degree of dissapointment than her online counterparts.

 

So it is her, not online....

[Woggle]

Me? I've got about 400 posts less than ES and am perpetually single so I seem the likely candidate - though I think I've only posted the once on this thread. If it was me you were referring to, just say. I won't be offended. I'll just answer the point. But obviously if you were talking about somebody else it would be silly to write an "about me" spiel.

 

It is not you. This is why I should have never mentioned anybody by name.

[LookAtThisPOst]

What I get a kick out of is the amount of women who aren't much to look at physically wanting to date beyond their equals in looks.

[Taramere]

I think we are all curious to know WHY women like you are perpetually single.

 

You both sound highly intelligent and impressive and like you have nice personalities!

 

Thanks very much, Leigh! I'm going to be as honest as I can (bearing in mind that ultimate honesty probably requires a level of self awareness none of us have). In my view, I'm single more out of apathy than anything else. My life's certainly not perfect, and it would be a great deal better if I were sharing it with a man I really connected with. But it's hard to find the combination of emotional connection, shared humour and sexual compatibility. And I like my life well enough that I'm not about to change it for the worse by trying to have a relationship with somebody I don't really connect with....just for the sake of being in a relationship, with all the social approval that comes with that. I care to a certain extent about social approval, but not enough to change my life for the worse in an attempt to get it.

 

I don't like mucking people around. If I go on a few dates with a guy and decide "no, I'm really not into him" it gnaws away at me. I feel awful about it. But in the end, I can't and won't try to have a close, intimate relationship with somebody I don't really connect with simply to a) stop people saying "there must be something wrong with her, and b) to avoid the unpleasantness of saying "I'm not really that into you.

 

As far as people thinking there's something wrong with perpetually single women (and men, for that matter) goes. Well, my feeling is that there is plenty wrong with me, so they're probably right on that score. On the other hand, I've seen enough partnered up people who seem to have a sh*tload of issues to think that in the general scheme of things I'm not doing that badly. I think ES is maybe similar. I'm stressing this "something wrong with single people" bit, because there's generally that underlying assumption. I think it's often a form of pressure that's exerted to push people into relationships that they don't really want, and that aren't actually in their best interests...but might suit other people's wants or needs.

 

I can understand some of the guys posting on here feeling pissed off about things ES is saying. It's probably similar to the way a lot of the women here (including myself at times) feel when men are listing all the things they expect in a woman. Often those laundry lists could only be met by a really exceptional (emotionally intelligent, highly tolerant, free of baggage yet wise to the ways of the world) person. Yet the people setting out those lists really don't think they're asking for much. Knowing you're asking for somebody to be exceptional, and being very appreciative when you encounter somebody who is exceptional in just one of those ways, is probably a good start.

 

A lot of "grading" of people goes on on this site. People are impossible to grade, in my opinion. Rather, there are the people you connect with and the people you don't connect with. If you're lucky, you'll encounter somebody you connect with when you both happen to be single....but the older you get, the harder it is.

Edited April 17, 2015 by Taramere

[BluEyeL]

I don't think you settled. Settled to me means being unhappy about being with someone. I think that you are happy. But, you are also much more pragmatic than me. It also seemed like you have put a lot of effort into finding a relationship; I just don't want the realtionship enough to go through all that. I have done my 100 dates and am now focusing on other things. I don't think that finding a relationship should be more work than finding a job.

 

In my work even, while I do work hard, I have also had a number of lucky breaks that helped me stay passionate and motivated. Dating just feels like pure hard work, with no reward of any genuine feeling of chemistry or connection.

 

My view is, if it's not natural, it's not meant to be.

I met less men than you. Way less. But yes, I did put a lot of effort into it, it's true. And is also true that I'm a very pragmatic person.

 

I had no dating skills at all, so first I saw it just as practice. Then I investigated how I can get better results, how to always get a call back. I also worked on myself, confidence. I read a ton of books on psychology, dating, new thought etc. I think they helped me beyond dating. It's also true that I didn't think much whether is natural or not, I only cared about results. Am I going to find true, long term love at my age?

 

Dating, on one hand affected my career negatively because I focused on it and couldn't focus on my very difficult job. On the other hand it helped me, as I was shy before dating. I held back at conferences and couldn't call or approach program managers. My job involves a lot of networking, a lot of rejection too. I learned how to establish a rapport with someone, how to sell myself, how to make people like me etc. I have to beg for research funding and weirdly enough, I feel more equipped for it tha. Before. Today im in Washington DC doing the networking/begging for money cra.p.

[BluEyeL]

ES I understand you're disappointed. I would be too. Try to sit down with yourself and identity what is it that you truly want. Is it a relationship, why, what type would you want, and, last but not least, are your criteria right, realistic? Would you be willing to make adjustments to it? If you come go the decision to not adjust your criteria, then it's better to accept it's gonna take forever to find him, be very patient. You can also decide to stop looking and have your peace. But then truly try to embrace singledom. Do not blame others, it is what it is.

 

I would also be burnt out if I were you. I confessed here that I was burned out towards the end of my dating career. Nobody can keep going like a machine.

 

I do hope you find happiness. It's in us, you can decide to be happy with or without a partner.

[road]

Agreed. I've encountered plenty of people who would have been more than capable of getting a degree, but who focused on other things. However, I sympathise with ES's feelings about some people who haven't got a degree really devaluing education.

 

As I recall, ES is gifted in an academic area that many people really struggle with, and that's her career. So of course that's one of the big pluses about ES, and one of the things that she's way, way above "average" in. And she wants a man who's likely to place high value on that aspect of her...as well she should.

 

 

Because a man does not have a degree means a woman is making a false assumption that all men will not appreciate those achievements done by a woman.

Edited April 17, 2015 by road

[KatZee]

KatZee, have you at least tried writing men whose profiles interest you? This includes not just looks or an exciting lifestyle but things such as intelligence and similar values. Lowering your standards to include men whom you don't seem to have much in common isn't taking responsibility.

 

I don't judge an online profile merely on looks at all. In fact, if a good looking guy writes me and I don't like his profile, I don't answer him.

 

That being said, I'm done with online dating.

 

I had mentioned many pages ago that I had one date left and then I was turning it off. Well, that date cancelled on me not once, but TWICE.

 

So we can add that into the list of garbage I've had to deal with in regards to online dating, through no fault of my own, I just have not had any success with OLD. And it's not something I think I have to endure anymore.

 

Probably none of you believe in psychics but I work in an entertainment business and one of my projects was a psychic. I actually went to meet her this past weekend and had a reading. She didn't know me and the first thing she said when she looked at me was: You have been so hideously unlucky in love, dating in NYC is not good for you at all. I hope you know this isn't your fault though. Stop with the online dating.

 

The night before I met with her, I had deactivated my account.

 

I have zero intentions of going back.

[KatZee]

I even remember reading a website where "authentic men" were speaking and they were saying: online dating? no. We don't do that. Authentic men are out in the world. Volunteering, being heavily involved in their own passions, out achieving their goals.

 

The quantity vs. quality of online dating is apparent. Quantity is through the roof. Quality? bottom of the barrel.

 

I have a whole list of things I want to do this summer. Tons of stuff going on! And I think I'll have a lot more success finding the right person for me when I'm really out there instead of sitting in a room scrolling through computer images.

[road]

I even remember reading a website where "authentic men" were speaking and they were saying: online dating? no. We don't do that. Authentic men are out in the world. Volunteering, being heavily involved in their own passions, out achieving their goals.

 

The quantity vs. quality of online dating is apparent. Quantity is through the roof. Quality? bottom of the barrel.

 

I have a whole list of things I want to do this summer. Tons of stuff going on! And I think I'll have a lot more success finding the right person for me when I'm really out there instead of sitting in a room scrolling through computer images.

 

 

 

 

Best way to meet people is to be out and about. Finding someone that shares the same recreational activities.

 

 

I fished. All the places I fished there were always men. Lots of men. Alone. With one friend, a group of men. Never any woman.

 

 

Where do woman go?

 

 

To the clubs and bars where there are lots of men.

 

 

What is the problem with that?

 

 

There is a lot of other bee-itches fishing in that same place.

 

 

And, yet women claim they are the smarter half of the human species.

[Imported]

I think most if not all women that put up a "well thought out" profile for online dating are pretty much letting their 'basic-bitch' shine through.

 

I steer clear. I go up to them in person to avoid them maintaining the attitude of an entitled basic-bitch. For all the **** requirements they think they deserve and make list of online, they're just girls in person.

[clia]

I don't think you settled. Settled to me means being unhappy about being with someone. I think that you are happy. But, you are also much more pragmatic than me. It also seemed like you have put a lot of effort into finding a relationship; I just don't want the realtionship enough to go through all that. I have done my 100 dates and am now focusing on other things. I don't think that finding a relationship should be more work than finding a job.

 

I think 100 dates sounds like a lot of effort! But maybe some of that effort could've been directed differently?

 

I feel you, though. I hated online dating and my mom always told me to treat it like a job.

 

I honestly think you are better off trying to meet a guy in real life. I know you are an introvert, but force yourself to go do a group activity in some area that interests you once or twice a week, through Meetup or some other organization.

[Leigh 87]

I wonder.

 

If Eternal met a man on or online without a degree yet who was smarter than her, and who she felt the butterflies and right chemistry for: would she turn away a man she was really excited about due to lack of a degree????

 

My boyfriend didn't get a college degree. He did an apprenticeship. He was so brilliant at his profession that he became the highest paid apprentice in the country and he's on a few new inventor shows in my country, talking about machines.

 

I feel like I've struck gold. I think Eternal is missing out on men like my current boyfriend. I'd venture to guess that she isn't any more bright than my boyfriend in spite if her impression formal education.

 

She read needs to lower the bachelor or masters degree criteria If She wants to seek that elusive " in love " feeling and the butterflies also.

 

It's rare to find THAT chemistry, compatibility AND a bachelor degree or higher holder.. ...

 

Just saying.

[Taramere]

Because a man does not have a degree means a woman is making a false assumption that all men will not appreciate those achievements done by a woman.

 

That's why I specified "some" people. Male or female, there are those people who feel the need to do down education and will regard anything other than self deprecation (by the professionally qualified person they want to do down) as arrogance.

 

Also I've often had to bite my tongue in response to "universities don't teach common sense - I was educated at the University of Life, and that gave me street smarts" commentary. University might not teach much in the way of common sense, but working in a profession exposes people to expectations of them adhering to standards and ethics that a lot of people in other jobs don't have to worry about.

 

That's the part I would hope to have valued by a partner, if I had one. Not the fun part of going to university and getting a degree....but the character formation that comes afterwards, when as well as doing a job that can be intellectually taxing, you have to be good with people (clients or patients) and maintain poise and civility in some pretty testing circumstances.

 

Some people will value you for that, and others quite openly and proudly despise or dislike you for it. I think it's important for anybody (male or female) to have a partner who admires and values who they are and what they've accomplished. Whether those accomplishments are professional goals they've reached, or difficult personal circumstances they've overcome.

 

And when older women talk about being choosy, I think most of the time that's precisely what they're talking about. Not rubbish about "I have to have a man who looks like a professional athlete and has at least $2 million in assets....but things that are far less easy to define or quantify. Maturity. The ability to address conflict effectively. A refined sense of fairness that involves the ability to see things from a variety of perspectives.

 

If a guy is stuck (and some will always be stuck) at a point where he's interested primarily in whether a woman is pretty, is wearing sexy clothes and is keen to please then he probably is going to have a derisive "I'd bang her if she's in okay shape but I wouldn't have a serious relationship with her" attitude towards older women who talk about being selective. From a woman's perspective, that's part of being selective. Weeding out men who think that way.

[Leigh 87]

If I held out for the mega chemistry, the ability to make each other laugh and long term compatibility AND a certain level of education..

 

I'd be single forever.

 

So online, I went for the men who made my heart flutter and who I was just " into" and then I gauged our compatibility. I never gave a toss about degrees.

 

Is it harder for PHD holders to get along with the rest of us?

 

One girl from high school who I am naturally smarter than got a PHD. I certainly don't believe she's any more clever than I. I just admire her work ethic and it says a lot about her.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Thanks very much, Leigh! I'm going to be as honest as I can (bearing in mind that ultimate honesty probably requires a level of self awareness none of us have). In my view, I'm single more out of apathy than anything else. My life's certainly not perfect, and it would be a great deal better if I were sharing it with a man I really connected with. But it's hard to find the combination of emotional connection, shared humour and sexual compatibility. And I like my life well enough that I'm not about to change it for the worse by trying to have a relationship with somebody I don't really connect with....just for the sake of being in a relationship, with all the social approval that comes with that. I care to a certain extent about social approval, but not enough to change my life for the worse in an attempt to get it.

 

I don't like mucking people around. If I go on a few dates with a guy and decide "no, I'm really not into him" it gnaws away at me. I feel awful about it. But in the end, I can't and won't try to have a close, intimate relationship with somebody I don't really connect with simply to a) stop people saying "there must be something wrong with her, and b) to avoid the unpleasantness of saying "I'm not really that into you.

 

As far as people thinking there's something wrong with perpetually single women (and men, for that matter) goes. Well, my feeling is that there is plenty wrong with me, so they're probably right on that score. On the other hand, I've seen enough partnered up people who seem to have a sh*tload of issues to think that in the general scheme of things I'm not doing that badly. I think ES is maybe similar. I'm stressing this "something wrong with single people" bit, because there's generally that underlying assumption. I think it's often a form of pressure that's exerted to push people into relationships that they don't really want, and that aren't actually in their best interests...but might suit other people's wants or needs.

 

I can understand some of the guys posting on here feeling pissed off about things ES is saying. It's probably similar to the way a lot of the women here (including myself at times) feel when men are listing all the things they expect in a woman. Often those laundry lists could only be met by a really exceptional (emotionally intelligent, highly tolerant, free of baggage yet wise to the ways of the world) person. Yet the people setting out those lists really don't think they're asking for much. Knowing you're asking for somebody to be exceptional, and being very appreciative when you encounter somebody who is exceptional in just one of those ways, is probably a good start.

 

A lot of "grading" of people goes on on this site. People are impossible to grade, in my opinion. Rather, there are the people you connect with and the people you don't connect with. If you're lucky, you'll encounter somebody you connect with when you both happen to be single....but the older you get, the harder it is.

 

This post is pretty much word for word exactly how I feel.

 

It really bothers me that people get so hang up on there being something so wrong with perpetually single people. I have known a lot of single and perma-coupled people in my life and I wouldn't say that coupled people had less emotional issues. They just had different issues. I have noticed that most of perma-coupled people were extremely uncomfortable with being alone for any length of time.

 

Society pressure is probably the worst for me. It got too much for me few years back and I pushed myself into a relationship that was completely wrong for me. That was probably the worst year of my life. Yet, I never got so much approval which I admit felt nice. I had random relatives telling me "We were so worried about you. We are so glad you turned out all right!". Or "Wow we didn't think you were capable of this!". Having been through both now, I would much rather live without social approval but with more inner peace. It really bothers me that the other end of the coin (i.e. not capable of being alone) is considered so much more "normal".

 

I would love to meet a single guy I connect with - but in terms of how much less single men I meet in every day life than in my late 20s for example, it's not looking good. I am not trying to be fatalastic, but if you look up at any statistics on numbers of single people, it's a fact that they sharply decline with age.

[Haydn]

Me? I've got about 400 posts less than ES and am perpetually single so I seem the likely candidate - though I think I've only posted the once on this thread. If it was me you were referring to, just say. I won't be offended. I'll just answer the point. But obviously if you were talking about somebody else it would be silly to write an "about me" spiel.

 

Single Taramere, would you ever 'Adam and Eve' it.

[SawtoothMars]

I don't like mucking people around. If I go on a few dates with a guy and decide "no, I'm really not into him" it gnaws away at me. I feel awful about it. But in the end, I can't and won't try to have a close, intimate relationship with somebody I don't really connect with simply to a) stop people saying "there must be something wrong with her, and b) to avoid the unpleasantness of saying "I'm not really that into you.

As far as people thinking there's something wrong with perpetually single women (and men, for that matter) goes. Well, my feeling is that there is plenty wrong with me, so they're probably right on that score. On the other hand, I've seen enough partnered up people who seem to have a sh*tload of issues to think that in the general scheme of things I'm not doing that badly. I think ES is maybe similar. I'm stressing this "something wrong with single people" bit, because there's generally that underlying assumption. I think it's often a form of pressure that's exerted to push people into relationships that they don't really want, and that aren't actually in their best interests...but might suit other people's wants or needs.

I can understand some of the guys posting on here feeling pissed off about things ES is saying. It's probably similar to the way a lot of the women here (including myself at times) feel when men are listing all the things they expect in a woman. Often those laundry lists could only be met by a really exceptional (emotionally intelligent, highly tolerant, free of baggage yet wise to the ways of the world) person. Yet the people setting out those lists really don't think they're asking for much. Knowing you're asking for somebody to be exceptional, and being very appreciative when you encounter somebody who is exceptional in just one of those ways, is probably a good start.

A lot of "grading" of people goes on on this site. People are impossible to grade, in my opinion. Rather, there are the people you connect with and the people you don't connect with. If you're lucky, you'll encounter somebody you connect with when you both happen to be single....but the older you get, the harder it is.

 

Ok, first off... nobody as funny and interesting as you can be perpetually single if not by choice. So... I consider this to be a choice you have made, and something you are comfortable with.

 

It's really difficult to talk about relationships in this way because in a way we sound like horse traders all trying to barter for the best deal. I mean some people want a race horse and some a work horse... but everyone wants the best fit for their needs and the competition is fierce.

 

Most perpetually single men simply don't have much to offer. The perpetually single women basically want much more for what they have than it is valued in the dating marketplace. I really don't feel that this is a complicated concept. ES is most likely upset with dating because she isn't able to attract the kind of man she believes that she is entitled to.

 

Always remember though... there are some people who just like being single. They like their life just so, and relationships require compromise and accommodation. Social pressure for dating is mostly internal here in the West. It effectively doesn't exist outside families and our minds.... not compared to other countries.

[BluEyeL]

This post is pretty much word for word exactly how I feel.

 

It really bothers me that people get so hang up on there being something so wrong with perpetually single people.

 

I understand the annoyance with the pressure. Maybe work on yourself to be out of f.ucks to give about that. I met a lot of single people who wouldn't go out with couples if they were "odd", i.e. for example two couples and the single person. My BF was the same he refused to join his married friends for various events because he felt weird being the only one uncoupled and having people supposedly ask him these questions.

 

I, on the other hand, had absolutely no issue with that. I was the odd one out all the time and I couldn't be bothered. Usually people judge you no matter what you do, on various issues. We are each being judged for being different in some way. Key is, like I said, work on not giving a f.uck and also, maybe hang out with more like minded, single people. Go to single women meetup groups and make new single friends and they won't pressure you. Interact less with the rest.

 

Remember, nobody can make you feel bad unless you let them. I do have the opposite problem, i.e. suffer from too high self esteem lol That's a joke, but yeah, usually it's about them not you, stop caring. You can do that. And be more positive.

[Imajerk17]

Thanks very much, Leigh! I'm going to be as honest as I can (bearing in mind that ultimate honesty probably requires a level of self awareness none of us have). In my view, I'm single more out of apathy than anything else. My life's certainly not perfect, and it would be a great deal better if I were sharing it with a man I really connected with. But it's hard to find the combination of emotional connection, shared humour and sexual compatibility. And I like my life well enough that I'm not about to change it for the worse by trying to have a relationship with somebody I don't really connect with....just for the sake of being in a relationship, with all the social approval that comes with that. I care to a certain extent about social approval, but not enough to change my life for the worse in an attempt to get it.

 

I don't like mucking people around. If I go on a few dates with a guy and decide "no, I'm really not into him" it gnaws away at me. I feel awful about it. But in the end, I can't and won't try to have a close, intimate relationship with somebody I don't really connect with simply to a) stop people saying "there must be something wrong with her, and b) to avoid the unpleasantness of saying "I'm not really that into you.

 

As far as people thinking there's something wrong with perpetually single women (and men, for that matter) goes. Well, my feeling is that there is plenty wrong with me, so they're probably right on that score. On the other hand, I've seen enough partnered up people who seem to have a sh*tload of issues to think that in the general scheme of things I'm not doing that badly. I think ES is maybe similar. I'm stressing this "something wrong with single people" bit, because there's generally that underlying assumption. I think it's often a form of pressure that's exerted to push people into relationships that they don't really want, and that aren't actually in their best interests...but might suit other people's wants or needs.

 

I can understand some of the guys posting on here feeling pissed off about things ES is saying. It's probably similar to the way a lot of the women here (including myself at times) feel when men are listing all the things they expect in a woman. Often those laundry lists could only be met by a really exceptional (emotionally intelligent, highly tolerant, free of baggage yet wise to the ways of the world) person. Yet the people setting out those lists really don't think they're asking for much. Knowing you're asking for somebody to be exceptional, and being very appreciative when you encounter somebody who is exceptional in just one of those ways, is probably a good start.

 

A lot of "grading" of people goes on on this site. People are impossible to grade, in my opinion. Rather, there are the people you connect with and the people you don't connect with. If you're lucky, you'll encounter somebody you connect with when you both happen to be single....but the older you get, the harder it is.

 

Terrific post Taramere.

 

I will admit to feeling some emotional reaction to some of the stuff ES said. In my own dating life, I've had a lot of great experiences but also a lot of frustrations. Right now I want an amazing girlfriend. To that end I've gone on my share of dates where I make contact with someone who seems awesome, we had a great email exchange, phone conversation, and text convo. And then after we meet up, I've heard "no chemistry" and so no second date the end. I've had moments wondering "what is wrong with me", "why won't women give guys more of a chance", ext.

 

But then I remind myself that no one owes anyone anything. Everyone, including myself, is only trying to find the best person for them. And that I haven't been into my share of people too--plenty of whom were great people who checked off some good boxes and who probably would have been loyal loving girlfriends, except that I just couldn't feel it as I should. (I did try though--I often gave it 2 or 3 dates. Honestly there were a few times that I was glad that I gave it more than one date. Very often there was some sort of friendship that came from it.)

 

Anyway ES, I say that you should rethink your screening mechanisms for YOU, not because some people on LS feel you "owe it to mankind" to give guys more of a chance or whatever. However, I DO think you'd be better off realizing how hard it is to feel instant chemistry with someone who could be awesome for you. If the guy is excited to meet you, he will likely be nervous himself!

 

Also, you know that wanting to be in a relationship just for the approval is a horrible reason to be in one. The cost is just too great. Besides people care less about other people than we think they do. Your true friends would rather see you genuinely happy even if single, rather than coupled-up in a relationship that isn't right for you, putting up appearances.

Edited April 17, 2015 by Imajerk17

[Taramere]

Ok, first off... nobody as funny and interesting as you can be perpetually single if not by choice. So... I consider this to be a choice you have made, and something you are comfortable with.

 

Thank you! I wouldn't say its entirely a choice. If I were to choose, I would choose to meet somebody I really connected with. The main situation in which I find myself talking to men is in the park or walking along the river, if they have a dog. I know, from a male friend in the US, that over there a chat like that would likely lead to a date invitation in the event that the man was single. Doesn't really happen that way here. You can like somebody, and they might like you, but at the end of the conversation it will just be an awkward "well. Nice meeting you..." scenario that leads to nothing.

 

Always remember though... there are some people who just like being single. They like their life just so, and relationships require compromise and accommodation. Social pressure for dating is mostly internal here in the West. It effectively doesn't exist outside families and our minds.... not compared to other countries.

 

There's certainly not the same degree of pressure (to be coupled up) as there is in other countries. It's just a bit wearisome to constantly find yourself having to justify being single to people who ask.

[Rejected Rosebud]

What I get a kick out of is the amount of women who aren't much to look at physically wanting to date beyond their equals in looks.

 

What does that have to do with this thread??? and why do you get a kick out of it and how do you know it even happens!! I think everybody wants to be with somebody who is attractive to them it's not about "more' or "less"!!