he called..

[Rainbowlove]

After 3 Months of nc, the silence was killing me as my anger over our broken friendship softened and forgiveness was setting in. Spring weather and Easter made we want to lighten the load I was carrying and clear the air.

I wrote happy easter and he called.

He was in the middle of hectic work day but Wanted to touch base. He said sorry.

Ive been greiving and crying for the 1st few months and now I feel like maybe not go back to being friends but it was close to 2 decades and was an awesome friendship and we were always very close so I don't know what to do.

I missed the friendship badly but how can we begin to fix the damage he caused by abandoning it and going SO cold?

I don't even know what to ask or what to say if he calls? Its like were strangers now and I don't know if his actions should be forgiven?

Any thoughts?

 

PG,

 

A very dear friend of mine cut me from her life one day without warning. I didn't know what I did wrong. She simply stopped talking to me. She slammed her front door in my face when she saw me standing there.

 

She was hurt that I didn't attend her graduation (from Masters). I started a new job as a police officer and had to work a double shift and missed her party.

 

She felt I had been ignoring our friendship for a while and didn't share with me her hurt - she just cut me out of her life.

 

I tried for 6 months to fix it. Then one day, I decided I was done trying.

 

I wrote her an email saying how sorry I was that our friendship had ended and I felt I tried everything to fix the situation. I then said, I was done trying to fix it and she wouldn't hear from me again and I wished her well.

 

She wrote back she was sorry.

 

That was 10 years ago and we're still very close friends. I love her dearly.

 

My wife also loves her dearly.

 

If this is truly a platonic friendships, you can repair the damage that was done. You have to trust he wants to fix it too....if he does.

 

Does he?

[privategal]

PG,

 

A very dear friend of mine cut me from her life one day without warning. I didn't know what I did wrong. She simply stopped talking to me. She slammed her front door in my face when she saw me standing there.

 

She was hurt that I didn't attend her graduation (from Masters). I started a new job as a police officer and had to work a double shift and missed her party.

 

She felt I had been ignoring our friendship for a while and didn't share with me her hurt - she just cut me out of her life.

 

I tried for 6 months to fix it. Then one day, I decided I was done trying.

 

I wrote her an email saying how sorry I was that our friendship had ended and I felt I tried everything to fix the situation. I then said, I was done trying to fix it and she wouldn't hear from me again and I wished her well.

 

She wrote back she was sorry.

 

That was 10 years ago and we're still very close friends. I love her dearly.

 

My wife also loves her dearly.

 

If this is truly a platonic friendships, you can repair the damage that was done. You have to trust he wants to fix it too....if he does.

 

Does he?

I dont know how to truly get that answer from him. I dont know if he called and responded to me out of guilt that he ended things terribly or if he will be able to explain away the reasons of treating a friend so horribly.

I'm not sure it can be fixed cause I think a true friend doesn't behave toward another like that unless you betray or really hurt them first which I didn't.

So I think I just wanted to raise the white flag and seek my own forgiveness toward it, but I don't feel safe it wouldn't happen again.

To the person who said crying for months made it more than friendship....no...it was out of the clear blue sky. It was hurtful to move to a new city and have no friends here, and to be suddenly dropped from a good friends life not understanding why. It hurt, and Id think it would hurt anyone not just me.

[privategal]

LoveShack.org: Community Guidelines

 

"We expect that all participants will respond to posts in their specific context, not to the person who has posted. While opinions may be formed of various members based on what they have posted in the past, any response to any particular submission should be grounded in what has been posted in that thread. Past disagreements should not be resurrected in new threads."

 

Given this is a recurring theme, I see no real value in interim measures so members who purposely and repeatedly appear to violate this and other guidelines will simply be expelled. Thanks in advance for your consideration of this moderation directive.

I dont know of any past disagreement I have never interracted with that poster before in any thread. This is my first post in second chances forum, I felt all responses were respectful, and its where I desire my thread to be so please do not move. Thank you.

[William]

It's not a conversation so I'd suggest you zip it and discuss the topic. If you have any comments for moderation, make them privately. You respond to me in public, you get a public retort. Next step is expulsion. The comments were directed at respondents but you're now included. Move on!

[privategal]

It's not a conversation so I'd suggest you zip it and discuss the topic. If you have any comments for moderation, make them privately. You respond to me in public, you get a public retort. Next step is expulsion. The comments were directed at respondents but you're now included. Move on!

Why are you so angry? Im not sure how to contact you privately?

Expulsion? Please write to me privately so that I may "retort" clearly Im bewildered.

[William]

It's interesting that you seem to like to play like you're ignorant but currently are forming a private message.

 

I'm not angry, rather I don't play games with members. You get it straight.