reading the male mind

[jc]

Okay,

 

So what do you guys think of this? Here's a brief timeline for you:

 

1. C and I broke up for the first time last July, but kept close in contact (not a real breakup I guess) then reconciliated in November...I broke up with him in January because the same issues kept coming up

 

2. C tells me that he wouldn't bet on us ever getting back together and tells me that he doesn't love me anymore

 

3. I go NC for a month or so and start moving on with my life...not looking for a relationship, but having fun, you know:)

 

4. C begins calling me about a week ago, every few days or so; we chat but don't go into the gory relationship issues, just talk like we used to;

 

5. In last convo, C tells me that he's been thinking about us getting back together, that he misses me, that he thinks we'll eventually make it work and get married (I'm 25, he's 22 so this would be a long way off);

in regards to telling me that he didn't love me anymore: he claims that he said this because he felt that it was what I needed to hear to move on with my life, he was trying to convince himself of this so our breakup would be easier, but he still loves me and always has

 

6. He came down to where I live for a few days with his friends to go to a concert, and we had a few nice nights together....he was the person I fell in love with in the beginning, not what I have come to refer to as "Mean Cxxx";

 

 

7. I told him that I don't want to get back together right now, if ever, because he has a lot of issues to deal with and I don't know if I can ever truly forgive him for breaking my heart, let alone trust him again

 

8. So where do I go from here? He went home Tuesday and I haven't called him since, although he called me Tuesday night when he got in. I still love him very deeply, I am just very scared to have my heart broken again...also he doesn't sound completely sure either does he? It's not like he's begging me to take him back, he's just telling me that he misses me, etc. Should I just go with the flow, see what happens with him while dating other people? Or should I just cut off all contact with him and get on with my life?

 

What would you do?

[westernxer]

Sounds like you've been going with the flow ever since the first breakup. Now it's time to try the other option and see how it makes you feel. It's the only way to be sure.

[whichwayisup]

7. I told him that I don't want to get back together right now, if ever, because he has a lot of issues to deal with and I don't know if I can ever truly forgive him for breaking my heart, let alone trust him again

 

8. So where do I go from here? He went home Tuesday and I haven't called him since, although he called me Tuesday night when he got in. I still love him very deeply, I am just very scared to have my heart broken again...also he doesn't sound completely sure either does he? It's not like he's begging me to take him back, he's just telling me that he misses me, etc. Should I just go with the flow, see what happens with him while dating other people? Or should I just cut off all contact with him and get on with my life?

 

You still love him then go for it!! Do couples therapy. Ya don't have to be married to go...I think both of you could benefit from it. Learn how to communicate and listen. Learn about yourselves - To be a couple together and learn how to grow together.

 

Can you picture your life without him?

[HokeyReligions]

How about agreeing to a schedule or time limit with no contact? If you don't trust him to do right by you, don't put yourself in the position to be hurt. Take some time away until you feel stronger and ready to talk with him again. That gives both of you time to work on yourselves, experience new things and people, and do it without worrying that it is the end. You will both know that on say, Thanksgiving, you will be able to talk together again without wondering why he called, or worrying what he may think if you call.