TexasDude Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 (edited) I am not a person that understands or comprehends substance abuse. I rarely drink and have never tried any illegal or illicit drugs in my life. My spouse told me when we were dating she never had tried illegal or illicit drugs, either. Although, most people have and that is fine. Trying them once or twice and actively using them are different. I think because I volunteered I had never used them she was saying what she thought I wanted to hear. Later I will find out she used drugs, including pot, cocaine and other narcotics a lot when she was in high school and college though she swears she was "clean" when we met. She has used pot on 4 or 5 occasions over the last 15 years and each time she cries that she is sorry and I try not to be too judgmental but I just don't get it, understand it, and really don't want it as any part of my life. She understands this. Recently, she was using cocaine with a friend and had been for the last year without my knowledge off and on. A month ago she tried to commit suicide because she thought if I ever found out what she was doing I would probably leave her... She is in rehab right now and I am trying to be understanding..but..this is not what I really want. I am extra worried if I do leave (file for divorce) she will try to commit suicide again. I really do love her and care about her...I don't think I am a mean person. I feel like a heel even thinking about leaving her....she has had abuse and other rough times in her life and it's feeling like I am just adding to the baggage. I have not told her I am even thinking about leaving. I think she will leave rehab immediately if I tell her.... Not sure what to do..just very hurt and confused... This is her first marriage but my second... Edited April 5, 2015 by TexasDude Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Sisyphus Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 I don't know the whole story of course. But my immediate reaction is, what happened to sticking with your partner in sickness and in health? Does that mean anything any more? Maybe you should wait to see how rehab turns out. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 She is in rehab right now and I am trying to be understanding..but..this is not what I really want. I understand your confusion. I've dealt with substance abuse, rehab and recovery for the last couple of years with a family member, one of the hardest things I've ever done. If you live near a large metro center, I'd suggest attending at least one Nar-Anon meeting before you do anything. You'll better understand both the addiction and recovery process and get valuable insight into causes, treatments and prognosis. At this point, best hour you could spend. You might also find the Family Night most rehab centers host to be educational and your wife would probably appreciate the support your presence would provide. While I wouldn't do anything hasty, it is a long and difficult process. Only you can decide what part you might play. Keep posting and let us know how it turns out... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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