Am I back to square one with him

[slipped halo]

We seem to be playing cat and mouse - and I've had great advice from here ?. Because my ex was sitting on the fence too long and wouldn't commit I started seeing another guy . Everyone was so pleased I'd done this and broken free from my ex completely . He was devastated and said he woild never get over me pleading crying ... But we weren't together !! Anyway I'm sorry to say i missed my ex too much and ended things with this new guy. I rang my ex and maybe stupidly told him he was the love of my life and I coouldnt move on. He cried . We are now back in contact and have met up once so far . We both were emotional . He basically said he doesn't want me back atm because I chose another guy but understood completely why I did it and says he isn't saying never to taking me back . Am I back at square one or is it posituve that we are now in contact texting / phone calls and beginning to meet up?

Thankyou in advance for keeping me sane

[Ruby65]

So..... you're back with the ex who won't commit.

 

And, surprise surprise, he won't commit to getting back together.

 

You really need to think about setting some higher standards for yourself -- you deserve someone who loves you too much to play games or keep you wondering!

 

 

Edit to add: Wow, just read through your past posts on this guy..... what are you doing?? He's awful!

Edited April 5, 2015 by Ruby65

[slipped halo]

Thank you Thankyou I can't see the wood for the trees too much emotion. So you don't think it's just a matter of time for him to 'get over 'this . Does it look to you like he's got me dangling again . Should he really take me back straight away if he really wants to be with me bearing in mind the meltdown he had when I told him I had met another guy ?

[Ruby65]

Thank you Thankyou I can't see the wood for the trees too much emotion. So you don't think it's just a matter of time for him to 'get over 'this . Does it look to you like he's got me dangling again . Should he really take me back straight away if he really wants to be with me bearing in mind the meltdown he had when I told him I had met another guy ?

 

Someone who really loves you wants to be with you NOW -- not "maybe someday."

 

Don't forget: HE broke up with YOU so he could be free to date other girls in college!

 

Is he really entitled to keep you dangling as a Plan B just because you dated someone else after he dumped you? I don't think so.

[slipped halo]

Thankyou I see what you mean but why resume contact with me and ring me to talk and all that ? I know if I was done with someone I would cut them out of my life . There must be some interest there or am I deluded and straw clutching

[Ruby65]

You're projecting your own feelings onto him.

 

Dumpers will keep you around for SO MANY reasons.... because it flatters their ego, because it helps them feel less lonely while they look for their next girlfriend, because they enjoy your friendship, because it feels better to keep you as a Plan B safety net while they look around for someone "better"....

 

Catch the drift?

 

IF he loved you and really wanted to be with you.... he wouldn't risk losing you by telling you "maybe someday"!

 

Stop making excuses for him and stop being his Plan B Girl! You deserve better.

[thora-tiki]

I read most of your threads. My head is spinning.

 

The fact that this is still going on and you are still on the fu*king roller coaster should be a red flag to you that this guy is poison to your happiness.

 

I agree with all my fellow no contact warriors, especially Ruby65

 

Focus on YOU. We have to keep our eyes on the prize and not let distracting thoughts occupy our minds.

 

Like hearing from the ex-hole.

 

When he tries to call, text etc. don't accept, answer etc., and be grateful that you are doing the right thing

(keeping no contact intact), and also wish him all the happiness in the world.

 

A tip: Delete his number, e-mail, throw out his stuff, etc. And block him from texting you, on Facebook, etc.

 

Him contacting you: it is just a smoke screen.

 

The reason he changes his mind from wanting you, to not wanting you, when you contacted him

(You wrote: I rang my ex and maybe stupidly told him he was the love of my life and I couldnt move on),

is just that, because he is in contact with you, this (contact) eases him and his mind,

he knows exactly where he has you, on a leash,

and he knows he is still in control, and he can continue his little cat and mouse game.

 

Now use the strength you have to resist the temptation to contact him.

 

You think it is some deep love connection that keeps this on your mind, when it is really the fact that he is saying one thing, and his actions says something else.

 

He is acting semi-interested = you are his plan B.

 

He is fu*king with your head, life and your evolution, don't let him do this.

He is just being selfish.

 

Let it go. Let go of the old failed relationship.

 

Also, if he really cared about you, he wouldn't be torturing you by sending you mixed signals.

 

When emotions are running high all you can think is

«Excellent he/she is calling/texting. We'll get back together».

 

But it doesn't happen like that, unfortunately.

The fact that you still answer his text, call him etc. and even if you only answer short and take your time to answer his text etc.,

means that you should probably ride this no contact for a while longer.

 

You can do this.

 

We are all here for you.

 

You started no contact once, you can do it again, and then YOU control the situation.

 

The ex-hole don't like that.

 

Muhahaha!

 

A scenefrom the tv-show How I met your mother:

Mike Tyson:

Here's the thing about crazy: When a guy sends mixed signals to a girl,

it takes a toll on her psychological well-being.

And you wanna know why the girl acts crazy?

Look at the guy she's datin'. Then you really see some crazy, trust me.

 

Robin:

(only just realizing who he is) Are you Mike Tyson?!