What do you think of guys that would date anyone?

[Erised]

I don't want to date someone who wants a relationship, not specifically a relationship with me. If I'm not "special", what's the point?

If someone is willing to date anyone, that's a huge turn off.

 

I actually once had a guy I was flirting with for whom my attraction plummeted when I realized he'd dated a couple girls I knew who I found completely uninspiring. (Intelligence and personality, especially, but even looks.) it wasn't a conscious decision, but it happened. :/

 

I would like someone to have good, special reasons for anyone they chose to be with.

Edited April 7, 2015 by Erised

[road]

That's the whole problem: I don't believe that dating is a numbers game. If that were true, you would have the same probability of success with anyone. Obviously that's not so.

 

 

 

 

You can not do probability odds with dating.

 

 

It is a numbers game.

 

 

The men that is a 10 plays a numbers game. Their number is 1. For they have no problem getting a date.

 

 

The men that are average play a numbers game. Maybe there number is 20.

 

 

Then the men women do not want play a numbers game. Maybe 100 for some maybe 200, maybe a life time of getting shot down.

 

 

Many women here are either confusing with or hiding behind the excuse he asks too many women out when in reality he is seen as undesirable even if he asked out no one.

 

 

Then these same women if asked out by George Clooney or Brad Pitt (and lets say they have each dated 500 different women) they would have no problem becoming 501th.

[Harold of Andraste]

I don't want to date someone who wants a relationship, not specifically a relationship with me. If I'm not "special", what's the point?

If someone is willing to date anyone, that's a huge turn off.

 

I would like someone to have good, special reasons for anyone they chose to be with.

 

The problem with that is that if a guy does have good special reasons for why he wants to date you, it doesn't increase the chances of you wanting to date him back. Either you want to date him or you don't. It's not like he can do a PowerPoint presentation and convince you to date him.

[Mr Scorpio]

The problem with that is that if a guy does have good special reasons for why he wants to date you, it doesn't increase the chances of you wanting to date him back. Either you want to date him or you don't. It's not like he can do a PowerPoint presentation and convince you to date him.

 

The idea is that if he does have particular interest in a gal it increases his chances because: (1) he won't have the negative stigma of having been rejected and having apparent low/no self-esteem and (2) the gal might feel warm and fuzzy that he chose her and just her.

[Harold of Andraste]

The idea is that if he does have particular interest in a gal it increases his chances because: (1) he won't have the negative stigma of having been rejected and having apparent low/no self-esteem and (2) the gal might feel warm and fuzzy that he chose her and just her.

 

Of course the idea is completely false and it doesn't make her feel good at all that she is the only one he wants.

 

The second point is even more ridiculous because a woman is more likely to date a guy who has dated a lot of other women because he's been preapproved. It's only bad when a guy has been rejected.

[Erised]

The problem with that is that if a guy does have good special reasons for why he wants to date you, it doesn't increase the chances of you wanting to date him back. Either you want to date him or you don't. It's not like he can do a PowerPoint presentation and convince you to date him.

 

 

I was interested in dating that guy until I realized, so....

 

Another guy when I asked what he was looking for said a few things that boiled down to any girl who would be nice to him. I liked him before that. Much better to have high standards.

 

No one can be convinced to like anyone.... They can be convinced not to, though.

[Mr Scorpio]

Of course the idea is completely false and it doesn't make her feel good at all that she is the only one he wants.

 

Wouldn't you feel good if you were the only one a particular gal wanted? Not just prioritized over others, but sought exclusively? As in "I'm not actively looking to date, but you caught my eye?".

 

The second point is even more ridiculous because a woman is more likely to date a guy who has dated a lot of other women because he's been preapproved. It's only bad when a guy has been rejected.

 

Interesting. I think maybe this stamp of pre-approval from a guy having dated other high-quality women: "he dated a bikini-astrounaut?!".

 

But dating a lot of women? I would think that women would be more inclined to think something along the lines of: (1) he's a player, (2) he's a commitment-phobe, or (3) no woman seems to put up with him long.

 

I

No one can be convinced to like anyone.... They can be convinced not to, though.

 

Helluva quote.

[ascendotum]

Many women here are either confusing with or hiding behind the excuse he asks too many women out when in reality he is seen as undesirable even if he asked out no one.

 

Then these same women if asked out by George Clooney or Brad Pitt (and lets say they have each dated 500 different women) they would have no problem becoming 501th.

 

 

As for Clooney & Pitt. The difference is many of the woman would have hit on them + they got to sleep or date 100s of those women instead of being rejected by them. The type of guy discussed in this topic results in the opposite of pre-selection attraction.

 

If your the one in the directors chair knocking back 100s guys auditioning for the bf role, its easy to come off more judgmental on the applicants that have to put a lot of bids in with women to get the role. Unfortunately if you get older and all your friends are in relationships and get out less and you hate OLD then you have no choice but to try your luck with whatever single women come your way, but it really should be more then a case of single & not fat (or whatever your minimal criteria is) when it comes to gf material. Just asking a bunch of woman out for a date does not necessarily mean that the guy has very low standards as the guy could still reject numerous of them when he got to know them better on a date. The more desperate the guy though the less likely he will do that and instead go with the first woman to be open to dating him. You don;t want to give off that desperate vibe. If you ask out every girl in your social circle (you already know them) or any friend they bring along, though it gives off sign of desperation.

[Harold of Andraste]

 

No one can be convinced to like anyone.... They can be convinced not to, though.

 

This right here is the key to everything.

 

The main point is that a guy can do things to make you lose desire in him, which the guy you are talking about did.

 

The second point is that if you aren't interested in a guy, he can't convince you to date him no matter how much he likes you, how awesome and special you are etc. You just don't care.

[ascendotum]

Another guy when I asked what he was looking for said a few things that boiled down to any girl who would be nice to him. I liked him before that. Much better to have high standards.

 

A lot of guys are happy with a girl that they find cute/sexy and thinks he's great and is sweet to him and they get on well together. Lots of people don't get to snag their ideal person. An average joe shmoe if he sat down and thought about his dream girl could easily come up with a check off list of 20 things with the more important criteria weighted more. Its all useless though if it results in a much smaller pool of women that are still single and plus open to date him against all the other guys chasing her. The less of a catch someone is the more they have to be flexible on their expectations so more people are open to dating them, and I'm sure its that reason that turns women off. I guess he could have BS'd and come up with a bigger list and even if you didn't match all of it, it would look good in that he could make an allowance and date you because you were special. Often people make trade offs in their choices at the end of the day and rationalize it.

[MissBee]

I know a couple of 30+ guys that are perma-single and have tried to date nearly any single female I know. They pretty much got rejected every time.

 

The thing is, if not for that fact, they are reasonably cute and intelligent, perhaps somewhat socially awkward. The fact that they have tried to date everyone makes me and I wouldn't consider dating them.

 

Would this be a huge turn off for you?

 

It's a turn off for me in two ways personally:

 

1. I'm not a fan of what I call "incestuous dating among friends" lol. To each her own, but I've never liked the idea of dating guys my friends dated or dating within a small circle and I've never done it. So if a guy attempted to date all the women I know, then no, it's a no go for me.

 

2. People who seem to like anyone and don't discriminate about who they date are usually a little desperate or at the least just very different from me and how I choose to date. I don't want to be with a man where I feel like there is nothing particular about me, he just likes anyone and I happened to be available. I want to feel like he has some kind of judgment, some kind of particular taste or qualities he's looking for that I fit for him that someone else didn't and not just he likes any one with a pulse and I could have been anyone.

Edited April 7, 2015 by MissBee

[RedRobin]

I never put much thought into what other women think of a guy I might be interested in, unless it is something to do with his value system and integrity.

 

 

Make up your own mind, and make sure it is about something important... not something trivial like how many dates he does or doesn't get. If he's a decent guy, that you find reasonably attractive and intelligent, why not get to know him?

 

 

Edited: Perhaps the one thing that the guys who use the 'ask every woman that walks' approach is missing... is a bit of timing and patience. Lots of women feel uncomfortable being considered romantic material by a stranger. It comes across like the guy will just eff anything. As another poster said... find some way to get to know the person first... understand their likes/dislikes a little... before turning the interaction into a romantic one.

Edited April 8, 2015 by RedRobin

[joystickd]

I know a couple of 30+ guys that are perma-single and have tried to date nearly any single female I know. They pretty much got rejected every time.

 

The thing is, if not for that fact, they are reasonably cute and intelligent, perhaps somewhat socially awkward. The fact that they have tried to date everyone makes me and I wouldn't consider dating them.

 

Would this be a huge turn off for you?

 

Most guys that are like that are not looking to date all of them. Honestly if there were 10 friends he probably wanted to actually date 2-4 of them and probably just want to have sex with the others. Funny thing is if these guys had been discreet then it is possible to have that. Key word here you said is socially awkward so to them they are probably taking the numbers game serious.

 

It sound just like a why can't guys date like women thing. The biggest thing for men is making the move. For some that have been friendzoned the best thing is to make the move fast until they learn how to finesse it. For men dating is more of a learning process than it is for women in terms of the initial stages. As a man you know there is a point a, b, c, etc but how to get to transition into these points is a mystery.