shop Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 after some advice i 44 very fit woman been married a long time noticed the last few weeks hubby hasnt been interested in me i asked him today he says i not cheating on you got quite defensive about it i only asked him if there was any health issuess .i know its not me as i have lots of male attention just looking for some advice if anyone else has these issuess thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
lilow Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 I went through this (a couple of times). unfortunately there was infidelity there, as I eventually found out (long story) but after tons of therapy it doesn't appear the dry spells were necessarily related to the decreased sex drive. it was more stress related and he himself not feeling sexually attractive. it's super hard to get through especially if you have a high sex drive and have men hitting on you. stay strong and recommend counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shop Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 thank you so much for replying sorry that happened to you yes i will stay strong i did bring this up again with him he says nonthing wrong hes a caring man but if keeps up yes i will look into counselling as i love him very much .but yes hes not a fit man could be something there in that thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Have to tell you that if a man in his 40s is not interested at all in sex with you there are only a very few explanations (1) he is cheating in you . It's easier for women to cheat and not be interested. You know why, no performance issues to worry about (2) he has medical problem from meds or something and he is either too proud of embarrassed to talk to you about it. If this is the case it could be serious and he needs medical advice (3) he is watching too much porn You need to figure it out before you wind up doing something you shouldn't . Putting your head in sand probably is not the right solution . Be proactive and try to talk to him in a supportive way 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lilow Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 I agree if under medical issues you county anxiety and stress. also I always worry about loss of attraction. is that a thing? it's not with me, (i guess unless there was a crazy change in appearance), weight loss and gain, I want him just as much. but men are more visual than women... Link to post Share on other sites
Author shop Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 thank you for the advice i appreciate it i dont feel hes cheating on me medical could be a possiblity i would never cheat on my hubby ever christian woman here and i a strong women cant be charmed been with this man for 25 years i just feel its something that needs to be fixed .smiles thank you both. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 As Friskyone4u says you have to be proactive here, if he is not communicative then you are going to need to do some investigating. Very few cheaters are going to say, "Yes", when questioned, "Are you cheating?" Go on the Infidelity section and see the lengths some have had to go to, to find out, when their suspicions were raised. I doubt he would own up to a porn addiction either. You may have to start snooping. Are there any other changes in his behaviour? Does he seem ill? Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 If he's not cheating - and so far there's nothing concrete to indicate otherwise, then it's probably medical or hormonal. If he's overweight, has blood pressure issues, or low testosterone, he could lose his desire for sex and/or his ability to perform (maintain an erection) when he is interested. This is often a difficult thing for men to face, and many men dislike seeing a doctor to discuss these issues. However, it seems like the best place to start dealing with the problem is a good physical and blood work to determine hormone balances - not just testosterone and it's precursors and variants. That may require a hormone specialist or endocrinologist, as many general practitioners and urologists don't have the expertise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 In another thread, posted by a male, one of the main issues being parroted over and over by one female poster is that it could be due to performance. Surprised I am not seeing the same here, when it's a female poster posting about this. Also... to the OP: When you asked him, did you ask if there was someone else or did you ask if something was wrong. The actual question and the context, is quite important. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 In another thread, posted by a male, one of the main issues being parroted over and over by one female poster is that it could be due to performance. Surprised I am not seeing the same here, when it's a female poster posting about this. Also... to the OP: When you asked him, did you ask if there was someone else or did you ask if something was wrong. The actual question and the context, is quite important. Difference here is that this has only been an issue for the OP in the last few weeks, other poster, if I identify the thread correctly, had been having poor/no/duty sex for 20 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 noticed the last few weeks hubby hasnt been interested in me Were there any issues the last couple of times you did have sex? Was he an enthusiastic partner? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author shop Posted April 6, 2015 Author Share Posted April 6, 2015 last time we had sex was a beautiful experience no issuess there other than no sex his behaviour is still the same he has been complaining about work issuess if he started looking good dressing up he very antisocial bloke i his best friend i mean hes a good man does lots of things for me i very lucky but in a marriage i believe sex is important too thank you all for this advice very much appreciated smiles Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 if a man starts having erectile dysfunction, unless he is a reasoning man, he subconsciously tries to hide it. you ask for sex, and he finds some reason to deny you...i.e. there is a good game on tv, etc. he may not even realize he is doing it. the solution is to get him some Viagra, and make sex less threatening to him. if he has erection problems, have him pleasure you some other way than with his member. see if being very understanding, and encouraging...makes the problem go away Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts