model38 Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 LNL, it's comforting to see that someone else is in my shoes and that I am not alone dealing with this issue. My story is very similar to yours except that we have only been married less than 3 years. I saw signs of his lack of empathy and cruelty towards me when we were dating but I chose to ignore them. This man has made my life a living hell. There has been at least 3 women that I know of personally that has called me about my husband and his affair with them (I guess they would get mad at him and call me to spill the beans). The first one happened after about 8 months of marriage (I should have left then) when someone (assuming her) keyed his truck. Well, fast forward to today, we are currently separated. A couple of weeks ago, a woman's husband called my home and demanded that my husband stop calling his wife. Well, this was the same woman that I knew about (the third one) and we had got into it a few months back when I notice on our cell phone bill (that we share together) that these two numbers kept appearing a bunch of times. Come to find out, one was her home number and the other was her cell number. According to the phone bill, he has been calling her since last October. During the month of January, I counted the number on the phone bill over 100 times! My cell number didn't appear that much. Yes, her and I had a few words with each other and my husband swore up and down that they were just friends and that he is not talking to her any longer. Okay, when her husband called the house a few weeks ago (on a Saturday, April 2nd) that was it! I had done had it!!! I told him to leave!! Well he left (only with the help of a restraining order) and now he keeps calling and begging me to take him back. He say that things will be different. I told him that he needed some professional help and that he needed to see a counselor. He said that he doesn't need any help and that nothing is wrong with him. Well, the latest cellphone bill is out which came on April 7th and the woman's husband called our house that Saturday April 2nd...between those two dates my husband has called this woman 17 times! and he said that it was over ....yeah right! Does this man actually think I am that crazy or what? What surprises me is that he feels like he hasn't done anything wrong and that I am the one with the "mental problem". We have no children together heck, he wasn't home long enough to produce any....he was always staying out 1-2-3- and sometimes until 5 am in the morning..and when I would say something he would say "there you go love to argue and fuss" that was his favorite line to me when I would say anything to him about his constant staying out late and his women "friends". Yes, I still do have feelings for this man I call my husband and yes, I still do love him. But, I am praying every day that God will take those "feelings" away from me and fill my heart with a love for him as a "brother in Christ" and not a husband. Because I have come to realize that he is not going to change and being in that relationship was not healthy for me. I am probably going to get into some counseling for myself to deal with this issue so I WILL not attract the same "type" of man again. I didn't want another failed marriage (this is both our 2nd) but I rather be alone than be unhappy...God Bless you LNL and all who read this and are going through the same situation. My husband would often tell me "you act like I'm the worst person you ever met" and I would tell him "YES YOU ARE!!!" God Bless You All...Rose Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Originally posted by model38 I told him that he needed some professional help and that he needed to see a counselor. He said that he doesn't need any help and that nothing is wrong with him. You told him right there what you needed in order to enter into discussion regarding reconciliation. You drew the line in the sand. Good for you. Now stick with it. If he wants to talk to you about it....he KNOWS what he has to do. If you back down on that....you'll be hard-pressed to re-gain his respect. Link to post Share on other sites
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