about the jealousy

[Grapesofwrath]

Someone on one of these threads told me that my MM demonstrated the most egregious example of cake-eating that she had ever seen.

 

Your MM blows him out of the water, Sisa. I agree with those who wonder what you want with him. He is manipulative, chauvinistic, and selfish to a staggering degree. I'm sure he LOVED it that you met with his wife, as this gives him the centrality that he so deeply craves.

 

His BS is smart to divorce him. I hope she takes him to the cleaners.

[KimmyBee]

he told me this today, he said I should be very clear in this.

He don't want she disappear.

He still love and treasure her.

His perfect solution would be she and me get along well and share.

And she always has right to return even she devorce now.

he said I should not imagine he will forget her one day.

 

Oh wow. This guy can't be serious. It's clear that you have low self esteem. I do too but I wouldn't put up with that. Don't let this guy take advantage of you like that. Do you not think that you are worthy of finding a man who is interested in you and only you? It's fine if you're happy to be in an open relationship but by your posts it sounds like you don't. If you get jealous of his wife now then imagine what it would be like when he has other women. Don't forget that he cheated on his wife with you so he is very capable of doing it again.

[Gloria_Smellons]

Leave it so difficult, half of the time I am unhappy but can't tell him, yes he start feel tired when I talk about it...

 

If you fundamentally do not understand how he can love more than one woman, you're not suddenly going to wake up one day screaming 'NOW I GET IT!'. If you have a problem with it now you are always going to have a problem with it. Prepare yourself for a lifetime of being mostly unhappy. This will get worse, not better.

 

Let's assume you were experiencing this in a relationship with a single man... unhappy half the time but feeling unable to talk about it, and when you tried he shut you down saying he was tired. Would you find it acceptable?

 

If yes, why?

 

If no, then why put up with it from someone else?

 

I really do wish you the best because you sound really sweet, but if you are determined to continue this relationship, please do so with your eyes wide open.

[Ruffian1]

He said it's not woman nature.

 

 

Consider the source.

 

 

Is he a woman? How would he know.

 

 

What makes him an authority on what woman what.

 

 

He sounds like an arrogant man who really thinks of woman as objects and not equal humans.

 

 

Sisa, you better be ready to be perfect.

[Furious]

MM tell me he love me and her, even he treat me very good. I still don't understand why I get uneasy when he told me he love her. He told me he want both, and doesn't want to leave anyone. He say I should not feel bad about he love her because he love me too, he say it's just like he love both of his kids the same.

 

I never jealous about my siblings, but I don't know why I jealous her. MM say it's because society teach us this way. I start thinking this, is it really because we grow up in the one woman one man environment? He told me he is not mainstream person, he told me there must be a planet that one man has many wives and everybody is happy.

 

 

You seem naive and yet very stubborn. For whatever reason, you are obsessed with being number 1, but is being number 1 to a man who is very selfish and chauvinistic a prize?

 

As sweet as come across you have a competitive streak and seem to be ok with being a part of hurting another if it benefits you.

 

In a way you and your MM are similar, you both have the ability to put yourselves first. The power struggle between you and married man is quite destructive.

 

He wants to win the best outcome for himself, you want to to win the best outcome for yourself. This is not true love, it has become a game.