Not sure why my brother would invite me to hang out with his in laws?

[Bobbi7]

This past weekend, my sister in laws family came to visit, they all live out of state. My bro told me that I was welcomed to have dinner with them at the restaurant and to hang out with them at the house. I refused to go. My sis in law's siblings are married and have kids. Of course, I'm single and no children. Maybe if I had a boyfriend it would be less awkward. Also, her brother laughed at me when someone made that comment that I didn't say a word. I would just feel out of place, besides these are HIS in laws. He's the one that spends time with them. And I'm sure someone will say that I'm just like a brick wall or something. So, lets say I was married and I invited my bro to hang out with my in laws-and lets say he was single with no children, how would HE feel about that? I'm sure he would feel out of place. But more so for me, being a women.

[d0nnivain]

It was Easter. Perhaps he simply wanted to spend time with all of his family -- ILs and you -- on a holiday. I can't imagine it was a plot to rub your nose in the fact that you aren't married but they are.

[Sugarkane]

They sound rude and mean. That person is probably jealous of your single status! Your brother probably wanted some support and didn't want to be alone with the in laws.

[mrs rubble]

This past weekend, my sister in laws family came to visit, they all live out of state. My bro told me that I was welcomed to have dinner with them at the restaurant and to hang out with them at the house. I refused to go. My sis in law's siblings are married and have kids. Of course, I'm single and no children. Maybe if I had a boyfriend it would be less awkward. Also, her brother laughed at me when someone made that comment that I didn't say a word. I would just feel out of place, besides these are HIS in laws. He's the one that spends time with them. And I'm sure someone will say that I'm just like a brick wall or something. So, lets say I was married and I invited my bro to hang out with my in laws-and lets say he was single with no children, how would HE feel about that? I'm sure he would feel out of place. But more so for me, being a women.

Shouldn't you be more upset at the person who made the comment than the person who laughed? laughter is sometimes just a reaction that people have when they don't know what to say.

Did you not say a word? Maybe if you try engaing in conversation more, you'll feel more comfortable around them?

Not that I believe you need to spend all weekend hanging out with the inlaws. I do think that it would have been nice to show your brother some love and support by showing up for a meal at least.

You'll encounter couples outside the family setting too you know, so at some stage you're probably going to have to bite the bullet and learn how to interact with coupled people too.

[whichwayisup]

I think he's just trying to include you. If I were in your shoes, I'd feel flattered that they thought of me and invited me along.

 

Single or not, you're family and obviously he cares about you.

[anika99]

They sound rude and mean. That person is probably jealous of your single status! Your brother probably wanted some support and didn't want to be alone with the in laws.

 

That's what I thought too. My younger brother used to invite me to everything because he was shy and didn't want to feel like the odd man out. I adored him and went whenever he asked. Now he's more mature and lives with his gf and doesn't need me as much anymore. On the one hand I'm glad he's more secure in himself, on other hand I miss all the time we used to spend together.

[Hawaii51]

Cause he hates them. Which is what my brother does, and because I love him I do it. The bastard.

[Bobbi7]

Well, I guess he was welcoming me to tag along and be included, but that's only on his part. Anyway, his brother and sister in law have NEVER acknowledge my presence, probably not even a hi or how are you. So, what the heck? They obviously know I'm quiet, so why do they have to be the a-holes to ignore me or only call me out??? I remember once I saw them at the party and I was looking to them and wanted to greet my bros brother in law and his wife and they didn't look at me.

[d0nnivain]

This may be more your perception than anything. If you are shy you take things as insults which aren't meant as such. You do not have to wait to catch somebody's eye to say hello. The verbal interruption is polite. Based only on what you posted, I can't say for sure that they were deliberately ignoring you even though you felt that way.

 

Although it feels awkward, try being more forward with them & saying hello 1st.

[anika99]

Well, I guess he was welcoming me to tag along and be included, but that's only on his part. Anyway, his brother and sister in law have NEVER acknowledge my presence, probably not even a hi or how are you. So, what the heck? They obviously know I'm quiet, so why do they have to be the a-holes to ignore me or only call me out??? I remember once I saw them at the party and I was looking to them and wanted to greet my bros brother in law and his wife and they didn't look at me.

 

I think maybe you expect too much of people. If you want to talk to somebody then you take the initiative and do it. Do you ever wonder how you are perceived by others? I know when I was young and really shy some people thought I was stuck up snotty bitch. I really wasn't but that's the impression I gave when I brooded all by myself because I didn't know how to join the group and speak up. People thought I didn't like them. They thought I was unfriendly and they didn't know how to approach me.

 

 

This shy problem of yours is something you have to take ownership of and work on yourself. It's not fair to blame everyone else because you have a problem. I'm not ragging on you, I used to be like you, but eventually I figured out that it's wasn't up to anyone else to cater to my shyness and sensitive feelings.