1st holiday as a broken family

[i am gutted]

so........Easter come and gone. strange feeling, and a long weekend.

 

 

kids and I were asked to his parents for dinner on sunday night and we said yes to go. was asked if Husband could go and I said it was ok with us (he is their son after all)

 

 

good Friday, he calls over to get some stuff and we have a small talk where I asked again Why it all happened and he said we drifted apart. a while after I got a little angry and thought well no - he drifted.

 

 

then he said I need to move on. - really! after 27 years, just move on.

 

 

any hooooooooooooooo - dinner was nice, mother in law wanted some photos which we said was ok.....me and kids, and then she asked him to join in on photo. didn't really bother me but he is the one who wants out of the marriage and then jump in the photo?

 

 

then end of evening, he had a bag each for the kids with easter eggs for them. then bloody hell - he gave me one as well. he hasn't given me anything for easter for YEARS. needless to say I welled up and started to cry.

confused much?

[Hawaii51]

>>>>>>>hugs<<<<<<

[Lion Heart]

I am gutted,

 

So sorry you're feeling this pain right now.

 

So easy "move on" hey?? Right. No. Not easy one bit.

 

Now the first holiday as a SP is past. He's told you to move on.

There seems no choice for you now. It's gut wrenching. You need to grieve this major loss. Your H and family unit as it was.

 

The only way I've gotten through days like those are literally moment by moment mindfulness.

 

Then I started writing. Like mental writing. Everything I felt when I was angry. When I felt how unfair everything seemed because it actually is!

 

Then I started PLANNING. It doesn't matter ONE IOTA if you never carry through on those plans. But dreaming and planning helps you get past this day.

 

I've gone on and on about the stupid things I've done AND STILL DO do to perk me up just a tad. I got false nails on a whim. Bl**dy impractical things with 3 chn but I don't care! They're mine and at least I've got control over ONE smidgeon of my life! Then a fake tan. Then bit by bit altering my wardrobe.

Getting really sexy stuff just for me. Because I deserve it. Don't feel like I do but I'm doin it anyway!

 

The one thing I read about in post break up time.

The best revenge is to live a good life.

 

PLAN doing fun stuff with the kids too. Bike rides. Walking in nature. Camping. Swimming. Anything you can think of. It'll work. You'll be putting time between how you felt in the past and now. Just a little bit better. You'll be not only looking DAMNED HOT, you'll be healthier and happier too.

 

Seriously? F*** him if he's not gonna hang around to see you AT YOUR BEST! Cause getting everything you need and want right now will create your happiness.

 

Best wishes. Sh** time but the 1st holiday has passed now. Prepare for your new life.

Lion Heart.

[d0nnivain]

Sounds very odd & I can see where you would be confused. Going forward I would avoid these fake happy family get togethers. Send the kids & plan something with them at a different time. Get them used to the new normal of two of every holiday.

[Steen719]

Oh, I know how hard this is. The first Christmas after divorce, we had Christmas day together. It was awful. That is the last time I did that. At that point he was still in lust with someone else-new one, I think, and he acted so pitiful during the day, depressed, all of it and then left to spend the rest of the evening and week with her. I was devastated. We were divorced because he cheated (for the second time) and he deserved to be divorced, but it still really hurt and was just awful.

 

Start a new tradition. Believe me; it will get easier. It really will. You will find ways to have a good holiday. I agree with d0nnivain. Do not participate with his family, but let the children go and when they are there, either be with your family or a friend.

 

So sorry for your pain. 22 years married for me; I understand. Such pain and sadness, but you will feel better. It takes time, reflection, tears and then slowly, you get yourself back and find there are still things to be happy for. {{{HUGS}}}