Ally-65 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 So we broke up in January after two years. He was seperated when we started seeing each other and divorced a few months later. The divorce was not his idea, they had been married for 10 years. He told me from the start that he was not ready to commit to me and finally he decided that he really needed time to work through his issues of his divorce, by himself and in his own time. I was very upset at the break up, but went NC almost straight away. During the last 3 months, I have worked on myself, been to therapy and am now doing really well. Yes, I think of him alot and miss the good times we had. He contacted me by phone last week... out of the blue and said how much he missed me. He said that he felt he was really over the divorce now and that he had run into his ex-wife, and was surprised how he felt ok and that he realised it was ok that they were no longer together. He told me how he wants to be with me and although I thought it was something I do wanted..... I have some nagging question marks in my head. I have been trying to identify why and what they are but I dont really know. It could be just because I was so hurt and I now have barriers up as far as he is concerned. I have no idea whether to give it another go or not.... any thoughts ??? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 At two years and counting one has to start to think about marriage if one is marriage minded. Maybe that spooked him. In a two year relationship a three month break is a bump in the road. If he is sincere give him a chance. Go on a date with him. Take it slow. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jdids247 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 You're undecided because you got burnt the first time. I just got out of a relationship similar to this one. Difference was she was out of her's for about a year and a half. We dated for 5 months and broke up for a month. We reconciled and things went OK for the next year and a half but ultimately dissolved because of her fear. Divorce screws up people...it doesn't matter how good you are to them because there is always going to be fear. Fear they won't be good enough. Fear of abandonment. There will always be a voice in the back of their head to lead them astray. It's a slippery slope unfortunately. Feel him out and lay things on the line. Set boundaries right up front and if he seems receptive, then listen to your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 If someone ask for a second chance, always check that they haven't already used up their last chance, because after the last chance there is nothing but regret... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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