pictureperfectlife Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Bf loves redheads and freckles.I have brown hair,no freckles great body,i'm attractive and many guys hit on me,yet I feel awful about myself and inadequate because my bf loves redheads.He doesn't tell me loves them I know because all the girls he dated in the past were redheads and I found a post on fb where he wrote he likes redheads.Why is he dating me if I'm not a redhead?I feel so awful and cry a lot because deep down I feel like he doesn't find me attractive and always worry that he'll leave me for a redhead:(((((
soyou Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 You should be proud of yourself actually. He loves (used to love) redheads or has redhead fetish. Yet, he breaks his own rule/preference to love you and be with you. YOU MUST BE DAMN SPECIAL!! Why takes something so positive like this so negative??? 5
Gary S Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Because hair color is not everything my dear. When a man truly loves a woman, she looks better to him than she really is, when seen through the rose-colored glasses of love. Love is not blind; love sees beyond the average eye. Enjoy! 2
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Me personally - i PREFER Brunettes. But lately I've been dating mostly blondes/dirty blondes. Hair color is one of the last things on my checklist, I can find Women of all hair colors attractive. I think you're overthinking it OP I'm sure he likes you just fine. 1
Author pictureperfectlife Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 Me personally - i PREFER Brunettes. But lately I've been dating mostly blondes/dirty blondes. Hair color is one of the last things on my checklist, I can find Women of all hair colors attractive. I think you're overthinking it OP I'm sure he likes you just fine. He also watched redhead porn which makes me feel so horrible So you'd get into a relationship with a blonde and find her super attractive even though you prefer brunettes?
elaine567 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Being in a relationship should not be about crying and having a low self esteem. YOU say you are attractive and many guys hit on you, I guess your bf thinks the same. He may leave you or he may not, but I guess you getting depressed and crying all the time will mean he will definitely leave. He is free to date who he likes, if he is good to you and seems happy with you, then don't spoil it, by thinking he wants to be with someone else. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 He also watched redhead porn which makes me feel so horrible So you'd get into a relationship with a blonde and find her super attractive even though you prefer brunettes? Yes because something as superficial as hair color doesn't change who a person is on the inside. If I find a Woman attractive, and I feel like we connect, that's enough for me. Creating unrealistic expectations like proper height, hair color, etc. etc. you'll end up single forever. All guys watch Porn, its just a fantasy to help us get off. Don't worry about the redhead porn 1
Author pictureperfectlife Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 Yes because something as superficial as hair color doesn't change who a person is on the inside. If I find a Woman attractive, and I feel like we connect, that's enough for me. Creating unrealistic expectations like proper height, hair color, etc. etc. you'll end up single forever. All guys watch Porn, its just a fantasy to help us get off. Don't worry about the redhead porn Thanks for your feedback!I feel better :)It just felt so superficial to me when i realized he likes redheads.
d0nnivain Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Bf loves redheads and freckles.I have brown hair,no freckles great body,i'm attractive and many guys hit on me,yet I feel awful about myself and inadequate because my bf loves redheads.He doesn't tell me loves them I know because all the girls he dated in the past were redheads and I found a post on fb where he wrote he likes redheads.Why is he dating me if I'm not a redhead?I feel so awful and cry a lot because deep down I feel like he doesn't find me attractive and always worry that he'll leave me for a redhead:((((( You have extreme self esteem problems. You need to address them. Just because your BF may like redheads does not mean he can't appreciate you. His appreciation may wane if you continue on this self destructive path. If you aren't in therapy schedule an appointment soon. 2
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 You have extreme self esteem problems. You need to address them. Just because your BF may like redheads does not mean he can't appreciate you. His appreciation may wane if you continue on this self destructive path. If you aren't in therapy schedule an appointment soon. Ehh, I wouldn't say she has terrible self-esteem issues, therapy might be a bit over the top. She knows she's got a hot body and is attractive, and admitted it in her original post. If anything she reeks of insecurity. 1
Author pictureperfectlife Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 Ehh, I wouldn't say she has terrible self-esteem issues, therapy might be a bit over the top. She knows she's got a hot body and is attractive, and admitted it in her original post. If anything she reeks of insecurity. Yea i am insecure.It's just when you bf doesn't make you feel secure or show you he loves you and appreciates you,makes you feel super insecure
Gary S Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Well, to be fair, he should not be talking about red-head ladies when he is in a relationship. I would not say she has issues, most sane women hate that! 3
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Well, to be fair, he should not be talking about red-head ladies when he is in a relationship. I would not say she has issues, most sane women hate that! I think she found it out on his facebook, not sure if he actually said anything about it. 1
Author pictureperfectlife Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 Well, to be fair, he should not be talking about red-head ladies when he is in a relationship. I would not say she has issues, most sane women hate that! Thank You!It's completely normal to feel not good enough when someone tells you they like a certian physical look you don't have.
Author pictureperfectlife Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 I think she found it out on his facebook, not sure if he actually said anything about it. He did mention it once...
Gary S Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Edit: (it won't let me edit the above) Well, to be fair, he should not be talking about red-head ladies when he is in a relationship. I would not say she has issues, most sane women hate when guys talk about other women! Guys, if you have to look at other women, buy mirrored sunglasses - big tip there that will keep ya out of the dog house! But for goodness sake, don't talk about other women. Treat her well and tell her you only have eyes for her! Trust me, I know exactly what to do and say with a woman. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Edit: (it won't let me edit the above) Well, to be fair, he should not be talking about red-head ladies when he is in a relationship. I would not say she has issues, most sane women hate when guys talk about other women! Guys, if you have to look at other women, buy mirrored sunglasses - big tip there that will keep ya out of the dog house! But for goodness sake, don't talk about other women. Treat her well and tell her you only have eyes for her! Trust me, I know exactly what to do and say with a woman. Mirrored sunglasses were made for one reason
Author pictureperfectlife Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 Edit: (it won't let me edit the above) Well, to be fair, he should not be talking about red-head ladies when he is in a relationship. I would not say she has issues, most sane women hate when guys talk about other women! Guys, if you have to look at other women, buy mirrored sunglasses - big tip there that will keep ya out of the dog house! But for goodness sake, don't talk about other women. Treat her well and tell her you only have eyes for her! Trust me, I know exactly what to do and say with a woman. Wisest words!Yes!My bf also used to talk about how hot other women were right in fron of my face an that hurt so much an i resented him for it.You can think that stuff but why say it outloud???!Just never made sense.So immature...
d0nnivain Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Yea i am insecure.It's just when you bf doesn't make you feel secure or show you he loves you and appreciates you,makes you feel super insecure If you had healthy self esteem nobody could make you feel inferior. The problem herein lies with you, not your BF. I'm flat chested. My EX loved porn with women whose boobs were the size of basketballs. Big breasts I can sort of understand; those things looked like cartoons. Although I would have rathered he was fascinated by something else & occasionally, especially when I was younger, it bothered me, I didn't spend all my time afraid he was going to dumb me for a fake plastic person. 1
Author pictureperfectlife Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 If you had healthy self esteem nobody could make you feel inferior. The problem herein lies with you, not your BF. I'm flat chested. My EX loved porn with women whose boobs were the size of basketballs. Big breasts I can sort of understand; those things looked like cartoons. Although I would have rathered he was fascinated by something else & occasionally, especially when I was younger, it bothered me, I didn't spend all my time afraid he was going to dumb me for a fake plastic person. I understand.I do have self esteem issues.But when your bf spent most of his time talking about how hot other women were right in front of your face,that really makes you feel terrible.
d0nnivain Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I would imagine it would. There is a solution though: get a new BF who is not so disrespectful as to do that. 2
Author pictureperfectlife Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 I would imagine it would. There is a solution though: get a new BF who is not so disrespectful as to do that. Thank You.Yes you are right.Hard to let go though.. 1
Mrin Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 He also watched redhead porn which makes me feel so horrible So you'd get into a relationship with a blonde and find her super attractive even though you prefer brunettes? I am a redhead guy myself. At least 50% of all women i've dated were redheads. Probably more like 75%. My soulmate is a brunette. Or a blonde. Or a dirty blonde. It changes often. She's a brunette as of last Friday. Honestly, she could have pink hair or no hair for all I care. Though the no hair thing would detract from the bedroom a bit. I could honestly care less about her hair color. Seriously. Don't fret about this. As others have said, take it instead as daily affirmation of his love for you. That you don't just fit some mold he has. That he loves you for you. For who you are. The way you smile. Or the way you giggle. The way you make him feel. Not your hair color. And besides, if you really want to surprise him some day, find a good colorist (emphasis on good) and go auburn for a bit. But take it from me, don't try to go full red unless your colorist is miracle worker. It is exceedingly hard to pull off. 1
Mrin Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 I understand.I do have self esteem issues.But when your bf spent most of his time talking about how hot other women were right in front of your face,that really makes you feel terrible. Now that doesn't have anything to do with hair color. That has everything to do with you BF acting like an ass. 4
Author pictureperfectlife Posted April 7, 2015 Author Posted April 7, 2015 I am a redhead guy myself. At least 50% of all women i've dated were redheads. Probably more like 75%. My soulmate is a brunette. Or a blonde. Or a dirty blonde. It changes often. She's a brunette as of last Friday. Honestly, she could have pink hair or no hair for all I care. Though the no hair thing would detract from the bedroom a bit. I could honestly care less about her hair color. Seriously. Don't fret about this. As others have said, take it instead as daily affirmation of his love for you. That you don't just fit some mold he has. That he loves you for you. For who you are. The way you smile. Or the way you giggle. The way you make him feel. Not your hair color. And besides, if you really want to surprise him some day, find a good colorist (emphasis on good) and go auburn for a bit. But take it from me, don't try to go full red unless your colorist is miracle worker. It is exceedingly hard to pull off. Thanks so much for you answer!!!I understand.I Feel better:)
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