grabaka Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I think I am reading into things with a co-worker of mine, and I believe she may have an interest in me. She is a married woman, has 3 kids, and even her husband works with us but at a different building in the company. Her and I work in the same building and I am the IT guy so I have a lot of interaction with people and with her. We have always talked and joked, nothing risky...just normal joking and what not. I myself am recently divorced due to my wife cheating on me. So in other words I do not want to be that hypocrite guy who turns and has a married woman cheat. So my dilemma is am I reading her wrong as of late and am I reading into things....here's why I think she may have an interest in me. We usually only see each other in person Mondays, and rarely text each other on our work phones unless work related. The past 2 days we texted all day...just chit chat and banter. She always invites me over to her house atleast once a week (her husband would be there too) to hang out. I always come up with an excuse cause I dont know her husband to well and it would be weird. Recently in our texts she tells me how she thinks I am so funny, and that I always make her smile. And that she always enjoys hearing from me and Im the best part of her Mondays. Yesterday she invited me over to their house to watch the game. I declined because I had a dinner date that evening. She then starts inquiring about my date, and playfully tells me she doesnt approve of my date because I didnt run it by her I had a date, and she has to give me approval about the girl...keep in mind my co-worker friend is 40 yrs old and to say that is teenage immature stuff. She then tells me playfully she only approves of me having dinner with my date, and not to be intimate with her....once again pretty immature for her to say. On my date my co-worker kept texting me asking me how it was going. This morning my co-worker was the first person to text me and first thing she inquired about my date. To me I read it as maybe she was jealous in a weird way. So is she a really just a good friend who is looking out for me because she knows I just went through a horrible divorce? OR is she someone interested in me? I really enjoy her company and she is a good friend, I just dont want to be involved in a situation like this considering I was the betrayed spouse recently in a situation like this and going through something like that will kill you emotionally and mentally. Maybe Im just reading into things. All comments and feedback welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Price2Play Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 She probably just enjoys the attention you are giving her. She may not be getting much attention else were & she may just be bored & wants to help feed your ego since she knows your story. The comments are definitely inappropriate. Invites to her house yeah that's pretty strange considering you don't know the husband that well! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 whatever reason she is flirting with you...she is married and shouldnt be entertaining the idea of you being intimate with anyone ro fro that matter asking you about it....or makign demands...it is strange ....if she were single it would be alright.....even then....its not about maturity its about impositional flirting games.......but she isnt single...so its not ok for her to be jealous at any rate........deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 She is a married woman Stopped reading at this point. You should tell her that you are not interested in a relationship with a married woman. It will only lead to extreme drama. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Guy, There is nothing mixed about these signals. Married women do not spend all day texting other men and chit chatting all day. and I doubt seriously if her husband has any clue she is spending all this time interacting with you. If I were you I would tell her to cut it out for the following reasons (1) you will get caught (2) you could be putting your job in jeopardy if a complain is made to HR So stop trying to figure out the signals and put up the RED LIGHT here . Ask her why she is contacting you so much and is taking such an interest in your personal life and ask her if her husband is aware of all the communication she is initiating with you and tell her he needs too be. That should cool her jets. And I suggest you stop responding to her and keep copies of the communications she is sending to you , especially if they get more suggestive 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author grabaka Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 Stopped reading at this point. You should tell her that you are not interested in a relationship with a married woman. It will only lead to extreme drama. Nothing sexual or physically has ever been brought up or referred to. Her saying those things just came out of the blue the other day. I totally am NOT interested in a relationship with a married woman, but I do not want to say something in case I am totally wrong about what is going on and reading into things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Nothing sexual or physically has ever been brought up or referred to. Her saying those things just came out of the blue the other day. I totally am NOT interested in a relationship with a married woman, but I do not want to say something in case I am totally wrong about what is going on and reading into things. This is probably the same thing the guy your ex-wife cheated on you with, was saying at first. And then the rest is history. You should have avoided all that chit chat and banter and stop talking about your personal life with her. Specially if the husband works there too. You never know one day he'll pick up the phone and read the messages and take it the wrong way. If this thread exists, it's because you think there is a chance that she might be interested and it means that you could be potentially be headed into a situation you don't want to be in. Keep it professional, cut out the personal. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I get a married woman co-worker being concerned re your welfare post divorce and inviting you to her house and the game with the husband being there too. I get her being interested in your dating life and cheering you on. I get her mothering gene being triggered by a "helpless" male who has been cheated on, wronged and who is upset. I may even have made you some soup. What I do not get is the continuous texting and that is why this now must be considered an EA. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I think she is trying to be a good friend but she may be on the verge of an EA. At this point you had one day of back & forth texting. Simply don't have another Keep the texts to work related subjects. If she goes off topic do not respond. Be professional & courteous but nothing more. The next time she asks you to her home, decline. Simply have nothing to do with her that isn't directly work related & this will not blossom into a problem for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Usually the threads like this are posted by folks who WANT this other person they're asking about to be interested in the OP, because the OP is interested in them. I've lost count of how many "does my boss/coworker/professor like me?" threads I've seen. You say that's not the case, so I'll take that at face value. The simple answer is that it doesn't matter if she's interested in you or not. I work with or at least run across many women on the job. I don't know if any of them are interested in me or not, because it doesn't matter. You keep it light and friendly and professional, and if they are interested they get the hint pretty quickly. I can't control their thoughts or actions, but I can control mine. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I think I am reading into things with a co-worker of mine, and I believe she may have an interest in me. She is a married woman, has 3 kids, and even her husband works with us but at a different building in the company. Her and I work in the same building and I am the IT guy so I have a lot of interaction with people and with her. We have always talked and joked, nothing risky...just normal joking and what not. I myself am recently divorced due to my wife cheating on me. So in other words I do not want to be that hypocrite guy who turns and has a married woman cheat. So my dilemma is am I reading her wrong as of late and am I reading into things....here's why I think she may have an interest in me. We usually only see each other in person Mondays, and rarely text each other on our work phones unless work related. The past 2 days we texted all day...just chit chat and banter. She always invites me over to her house atleast once a week (her husband would be there too) to hang out. I always come up with an excuse cause I dont know her husband to well and it would be weird. Recently in our texts she tells me how she thinks I am so funny, and that I always make her smile. And that she always enjoys hearing from me and Im the best part of her Mondays. Yesterday she invited me over to their house to watch the game. I declined because I had a dinner date that evening. She then starts inquiring about my date, and playfully tells me she doesnt approve of my date because I didnt run it by her I had a date, and she has to give me approval about the girl...keep in mind my co-worker friend is 40 yrs old and to say that is teenage immature stuff. She then tells me playfully she only approves of me having dinner with my date, and not to be intimate with her....once again pretty immature for her to say. On my date my co-worker kept texting me asking me how it was going. This morning my co-worker was the first person to text me and first thing she inquired about my date. To me I read it as maybe she was jealous in a weird way. So is she a really just a good friend who is looking out for me because she knows I just went through a horrible divorce? OR is she someone interested in me? I really enjoy her company and she is a good friend, I just dont want to be involved in a situation like this considering I was the betrayed spouse recently in a situation like this and going through something like that will kill you emotionally and mentally. Maybe Im just reading into things. All comments and feedback welcome. SMH 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I think you are a source of amusement for her. An entertainment. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I think you are a source of amusement for her. An entertainment. That's what I think too, she's bored with the monotony of her own life, so she's riding on the coat tails of your exciting new single life. Link to post Share on other sites
TobyBoy Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Next time she gives advise, say "thank you for the motherly advise...I appreciate it". Emphasize "motherly"...that should knock her back into reality. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author grabaka Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 I think you are a source of amusement for her. An entertainment. Could be....she reaches out to me daily. She initiates the conversation, and usually sends me texts first. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 It doesn't matter what her motive is or interest lies, she is over stepping the boundaries of professional/personal life. Her actions are becoming in appropriate. OP you have been enabling her behavior so this is what you can do.....start texting her, "sorry busy" or nothing at all. If she starts getting into your personal business again, just tell her you are not interested in sharing it with coworkers. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnsonBaby Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Start ignoring most of her texts and reply 2 the rest a couple of days later . She ll get it Link to post Share on other sites
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