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New here..need some perspective


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Dk..... I think you are wrong here. I wanted mine over even when I was in it and it truly was an addiction. It's like your watching yourself from the outside looking in. It's awful. Don't categorize that all these women are the same. That's like me saying all men are the same., come on really!! Plus, your a guy, you do not know everything about what a women goes through just because you and your wife went through it. I mean no disrespect, I'm just saying that all situations are different...

 

I don't think he said all women, but he did say many.

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I don't think he said all women, but he did say many.

 

Your right. Either way it's different for everyone whether they want to end it or stay. The only thing that to me is the same, is all the mm stories. It sounds like they all have the same play book. But I'm sure it's different for them also. It is what it is....

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OP, had there *ever* been any thought of confessing everything to your husband?

 

You want the affair to end? Come clean to your husband - and your MM's wife - and EXPOSE...

 

That will force a culmination and start to heal the wounds caused by the years of guilt you have been experiencing.

Hello Hyacinth.

There seem to be two schools of thought about confessing to the spouse and the other person's spouse.

 

I think after 12 years, nobody is likely to believe you are remorseful. It could very well end both marriages and cause a lot of pain to your husband and his wife.

Poppy.

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Hello Hyacinth.

 

You have a relationship of 12 years with this person. It isn't going to be as easy as having a coffee and saying goodbye.He chooses to spend a lot of time with you.

 

He has probably provided you with many things that were missing from your marriage over a long period of time. I think you are fearful of the space it will leave in your life and you should be.

 

Find a counsellor who can help you through it... that's all I can say. It will be difficult.

I am in a 7 year relationship with a MM. I don't want to end it. I am widowed and have no interest in another full time relationship. I enjoy what I have with him, but have no interest in being with him full time, ever. I am 68 and he is 73. It's not the time in life when people want to make shattering life changes.

 

I send you warm wishes,

Poppy.

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