elseaacych Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 There was a guy that asked me out on a few dates recently, and every time he asked me out it was "Do you want to go do something?" "When?" "Sometime." The question "Do you want to go do something, sometime?" and variations of said question have always driven me up the wall because it makes it hard to get excited. Anyway, I wonder: is this a normal reaction to have towards a question? What are your opinions about this question? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Low confidence, initiative on his part. He could actually plan a date, but really, he's not feeling energised enough to bother with the details. Basically he's wishy washy. One of the things I've learnt about dating is *always* have a plan. You don't have to be super committed to it. You can be flexible about the details. But for gods sake. Have. A. Plan. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chaser of Eros Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I can definitely understand the frustration. I'd probably get a little peeved if I a gal I was after asked me and responded with "Sometime" lol. You ever ask him when is the "sometime" he is referring to? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I think part of the excitement of dating is in the plan.....and at times its fun to plan together....but to me that question something sometime is too vague to be excited about...it would be like ...yeah cool lets do that...lets chill....lets veg and do...something sometime.....to me ...i would feel the guy had no real interest in me...or made any effort.....and that bores me..... i asked this one guy out on a date and how i put it was...i have this idea where we could go its somewhere a bit different i think you will like it...actually you will love it.......and then wouldnt give him any details.....because i wanted it to be a surprise...but the planning i actually had done was intricate and involved many of his favorite things in skirmish type dating thing....lol..it was fun.......... thats why i like dating from friends first...i know enough to make times together fun exciting and new as two people creating fond memories....dating should never be blase'....it should always have an element of newness of excitement ...something to look forward too as well as the fact you are spending time with someone you consider special....make that time special...and yes special needs a bit of a root of a plan behind it.....and i dont think the ball should be dropped when you form a relationship either....dating should continue....always...effort reaps rewards..deb 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SupportiveGuy Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 He could have no idea what he's doing.... I am free all day every day, so it's really not my call exactly when something should happen. It gets frustrating when she won't tell me between when and when my window of opportunity is, especially if she works and won't tell me her hours or days off. I can see going out as friends, one person planning some fun surprise for the other, but a modern man and woman need to approach dating equally if they want to be successful with each other in the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Maybe he just wants to know if you're up for it, before putting in the effort of planning a date. If you want to see him sometime then just say "yes sure" and see what he comes up with. If you don't then say no. There's no reason to over-analyse it. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 It's a low risk question, meant to buffer or minimize the impact of the rejection. I've done this when I was younger and had very little experience with dating. Looking back at it, it is an annoying question because it's not direct. It's lazy. So your unexcited response is appropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
RedButton Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 He's probably shy, and afraid if he says 'Let's go out saturday night', you'll say "I'm busy". He probably wants to leave it open so there's more chance you'll say 'yes'. Don't write him off for being shy, even if he's going about it the wrong way Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 If you ask him "when" and he still repeats "sometime," damned if I wouldn't blow him off. I mean, what does that mean? That he has to dwell on it and pysch himself up to actually DO it and that takes time? If so, no thank you. It's fine if he phrases it that way and then after you ask "when?" he says, "How about Saturday," but if he's still hedging, he has a social problem or something preventing him from completing the pass, so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
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