EC Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Should I be mad...??? Ok so as you guys know my 1 year anniversary was a couple days ago...and I was so happy yadda yadda yada...Well he sent me a text message ( in my other thread) and it was cute... Well I know we are both tight but I mean I went out of my way and sent him a Hallmark card and made sure it got there in the day of our anniversary. Nothing big but it was something because we had made a Year and I was proud. Well, it came to the end of the day and I hadn't recieved anything. I called him later on that night and told him I was a little hurt and he said he was broke because of a ticket he got and that he had to savemoney to drive down to see me, but that he would take me to 'dinner or something' when he came down in a week. So whatever I let it go, and then yesterday, he tells me he is going to a Pitbull concert, and i was upset..because I didn't like the people he was going with or (the girls) but he said 'I have to go I already bought the ticket'. So he can't buy me a little card but can spend money on poker and concert tickets>?? This really bothered me... I mean even if he wouldve gottne a white sheet of paper and wrote on it with a highlighter Happy anniversary and sent it to me I wouldve been the happiest girl in the world. EVeryone says not to worry that i shouldn't worry about material things... But its not material things..its the fact that it didn't come naturally form his heart to get me at least al ittle something.. I mean I'm worth more than a text message! Do you think I am overreacting? I also don't know how to explain to him this is bothering me..and hes coming in a week and I dont want to pretend that its all good..when in reality I dont feel appreciated and i am hurting... Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Yeah, he could have atleast sent a card. I mean, a few bucks? He pays more for that for his smokes probably. He should make you more of a priority. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 Yeah, he could have atleast sent a card. I mean, a few bucks? He pays more for that for his smokes probably. He should make you more of a priority. Something at least right?? I mean I'm not asking for too much...But how do I bring this up to him in a way that he can understand what Im trying to say and not dismiss it as me being a girl and wanting material things.. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 well, maybe he had already bought he ticket? or someone offered to loan him some $$$ to go. i always try, really hard sometimes, to give the benefit of the doubt, the first time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 well, maybe he had already bought he ticket? or someone offered to loan him some $$$ to go. i always try, really hard sometimes, to give the benefit of the doubt, the first time. Even if that was the case..the fact that he would go through all that trouble for concert tickets but then not even get me at least a card??? You know..a poem..something! Not just a text message! I dunno Im really sad, I expected something more. And then the fact he said Ill take you to dinner or something..like saying Ill shut u up when I get there. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 I think your overreacting. Yes, he should have sent you a card and been more into you and the 1 year thing but guys just don't see things as girls do and he probably wasn't blowing you off but didn't really understand how much it means to you. You could just let him know that but don't make a big deal out of it or it could cause a much bigger thing than you want. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 AND!!! Take into consideration, this is his the farthest he's made it with a girl. You're his first 'anniversary' technically. Teach him what to do!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 Yeah but I'm not that anniversary type girl thats like omg we make a week lets celebrate! So we agreed on going all out for out 1 year! But he is far away and thats besides the point! He knows how I am.. I just think it shouldve come from his heart to send me something..knwing we have an LDR and that all we have are the 'little things' to keep us going you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 I understand you so well EC!!!! I think he should have at leat gave you a little something, no matter what. All that matters is that you can tell it means something to him!!! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 I feel ya girl, I would have been hurt, too. My exhusband made a bigger deal out of our 1 year anniversary (when we were dating) than I did. I don't want to be the only person here who is disagreeing with everyone else, but come on. I'm not even WITH my exhusband any more, and on the 2-year anniversary of my miscarriage he sent me a letter and a card he made from prison to tell me he was thinking about me. Then again, some guys really care about that kind of stuff, some guys really don't. I dunno, I would be pissed if I were in your shoes, too. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 EC~ MOST guys just do not get it! that is why i use the infamous wooden toilet seat b-day gift,(i got an electric tea kettle too), as a Prime example! it is not that her FORGOT to get you a good card...But That He REMEMBERED to even text you. maybe he is saving up the "good stuff' till he sees you next week. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 Im not so mad but really hurt. I guess I was expecting too so much because of the way I feel that I was heavily dissapointed u know? Oh well..I want to tell him but I dont want him to get annoyed and then ruin the week that he will be down here. Everyone told me wait until he comes down and see what happens. They say he might be planning something for next week when he comes down..so again I am playing the waiting game. Ugh ...I'm just so blah right now...I hte the waiting game... Wait to see if he does something when he comes down, wait to see if you guys will work out when he moves down..wait wait wait.!! Sorry Im pmsing can u tell.? Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Oh, EC, that is so sad. I would be really sad too. My bf and I had a anniversary in November and he got me a car radio. I’m not saying this to rub it in, but I am just saying that guys CAN remember anniversaries. And you say that you had talked about having a big celebration for your 1-year anniversary? So, I don’t see what his excuse is. Also, I think it’s lame to say that anniversaries aren’t a guy thing. I hate that defense. You know there are a lot of things that aren’t girl things, like giving BJs or going to ball games, but we do it for our bfs because it is important to them. But, I don’t see how you can convince him that it is important to you. Because I don’t think that people change. You might just have to accept it and drop it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 You might just have to accept it and drop it. That what some people have told me...but why should it be that way.?? I know guys are not really into that sorta thing..but I htink if your in love and you want to make your gf happy it should come naturally? Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 It's true, it should come naturally. But here, it has not come naturally. therefore, you cannot FORCE it to come naturally. I don't want to upset you or be a totally uptight, but I personally think this is a bad sign. But let me ask you, did you get romantic gifts for V-day and your birthday? (I mean jewelry or flowers or something) Link to post Share on other sites
billybadass36 Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 I don't think your "going steady for one year" anniversary is THAT big a deal. Sorry, but I'm a dude, and that's what I think. I mean, who picks that day anyway? Is it the first time you went out? The first time you kissed? The first time you banged? The day you decided to be "exclusive"? I dunno. I think you're making too big a deal out of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 It's true, it should come naturally. But here, it has not come naturally. therefore, you cannot FORCE it to come naturally. I don't want to upset you or be a totally uptight, but I personally think this is a bad sign. But let me ask you, did you get romantic gifts for V-day and your birthday? (I mean jewelry or flowers or something) Yeah he sent me a box with a card and teddy bears. It was cute. And I sent him a box filled with things. My b-day hasn't come up yet so we have to see how that goes?? lol I just feel as if hes putting himself as his only priority right now and isn't appreciating me. Since hes leaving that school and that lifestyle to move down here and be with me, that hes getting everything out of his system before he moves down. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 going steady for one year" anniversary is THAT big a deal. Sorry, but I'm a dude, and that's what I think. And how long has your longest relationship been? The thing is, that here, she told him it was important. They had agreed on the day. They had both agreed it was special... .and she gets a text message. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by EC ...But how do I bring this up to him in a way that he can understand what Im trying to say and not dismiss it as me being a girl and wanting material things.. i don't know that you can bring it up in a way that will make him see it your way... guys sometimes tend to dismiss these kinds of things, and girls see them as uber-important. hence, the dismissal of it as "being a girl." there are some guys that will go all out and buy flowers and take you out and treat you like a princess for a year anniversary. these guys, though, probably have very small penises and have to make up for them somehow. (just trying to make you feel better!) however, this does not by any means diminish your right to feel a little hurt. i would too, especially since you made it pretty clear that how important it was to you. it didn't have to be material, he could have made it a point to say something like "i am so happy that we've made it this far, i can't believe it's been a year already. i miss you, i love you and i wish i could do more right now, but i will make it up to you when i see you. just wanted to call and tell you that for now." but he didn't...so for him to dimiss your "girly" feelings would be pretty rude of him. it shouldn't be too hard to try to make the person in your life feel special, especially considering you have an LDR and you don't get to spend that much time together to begin with. not many of the LDR's i've ever known have sustained for a year, so that alone is a pretty big accomplishment. i don't think you're being ridiculous. i think you are entitled to your feelings, and no one, not even him, can tell you that you are wrong or being overly sensitive. JMO. Link to post Share on other sites
billybadass36 Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by HoldOn And how long has your longest relationship been? Three years. Ended badly. I sent her all kinds of romantic $hit when I was in law school and she still in college. Got engaged but broke it off when I found out she routinely cheated on me throughout our relationship. I still hate that c*nt. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by billybadass36 Three years. Ended badly. I sent her all kinds of romantic $hit when I was in law school and she still in college. Got engaged but broke it off when I found out she routinely cheated on me throughout our relationship. I still hate that c*nt. eeeeeesh. sorry billy. but maybe you just made EC feel better....? Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 Three years. Ended badly. I sent her all kinds of romantic $hit when I was in law school and she still in college. Got engaged but broke it off when I found out she routinely cheated on me throughout our relationship. I still hate that c*nt. Sorry Billy. I dont want to make it a huge OMG your a horrible boyfriend issue but I do want him to know it bothered me. My boss just said that his problem is he knows he has me. That i am sitting in the palm of his hand. That i need to jiggle the security he sees in me a little. ??? I dunno. I hate relationships now what a headache. Im going to become a nun. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlDown Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by EC Sorry Billy. I dont want to make it a huge OMG your a horrible boyfriend issue but I do want him to know it bothered me. My boss just said that his problem is he knows he has me. That i am sitting in the palm of his hand. That i need to jiggle the security he sees in me a little. ??? I dunno. I hate relationships now what a headache. Im going to become a nun. you're not. did you read my other post? you're not wrong. he should know it bothered you. communication is a huge part of relationships, and you should be able to convey your feelings to him without him getting upset. and if he does get upset, it should be with himself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 you're not. did you read my other post? you're not wrong. he should know it bothered you. communication is a huge part of relationships, and you should be able to convey your feelings to him without him getting upset. and if he does get upset, it should be with himself. I know. I will tell him i just dont know how?? Because I feel as if I will feel dumb explaining and he will be doing one of these ~~~> Besides even if I tell him, whats done is done 9 or isn't done) He can't go back and get me something..its something I cannot change. So Im bummed. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by billybadass36 I don't think your "going steady for one year" anniversary is THAT big a deal. Sorry, but I'm a dude, and that's what I think. I feel the same way. That's all I'm going to say. Link to post Share on other sites
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