Author EC Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 I feel the same way. That's all I'm going to say I guess to most guys its not big deal...I took it as a big deal though because its his first year in a relationship with a girl (his past was only two weeks) and we had already picked a date, discussed it, and well..I dunno I'm bummed and will stay bummed until I get over it or stop pmsing. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 I sent her all kinds of romantic $hit Hello, you just said that 1-year anniversary wasn't a big deal, but you sent her romantic stuff? That's kinda contradictory. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by EC I know guys are not really into that sorta thing..but I htink if your in love and you want to make your gf happy it should come naturally? I think so. I only ever made it that long with one guy = my exhusband. He made it a huge deal. So yeah, SOME guys don't think it's a big deal. SOME guys DO think it's a big deal. I hate it when people say "all guys to this" or "All guys do that" -- it's not true. Some guys whisk their partner away for romantic getaways, or buy them a dozen roses and send them to your work, some guys stalk you and terrorize you. It's not an every guy sorta thing. Communication is the thing, if you're not happy with it that's what is important Guys can be such DICKS sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer I feel the same way. That's all I'm going to say. I don't understand. Wouldn't you admit that if you care for someone and that someone has told you that 1-year anni is important, wouldn't that make it important to you also? Why do guys feel they can ignore their gf's desires, just because it is not a "guy thing." I do things that aren't "girl things" becuase they make my bf happy. Isn't that what's important? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Where is the romance?!?! If it's important to you, that should be all that matters! Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 15, 2005 Author Share Posted April 15, 2005 Where is the romance?!?! If it's important to you, that should be all that matters! You know. A girl just wants some love... Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by EC You know. A girl just wants some love... Welll....you know....and sex, and cards, and gifts and nice dinners and dancing and.... Link to post Share on other sites
prisoner Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 i sat here and read the whole thread and could not believe it. you are so upset about this that you have spoken to your boss about it? you are so upset because there are other things that he prioritizes above you that you make reference to casually (poker)? you made the point of telling him that it was important to yuo and he sent you a text message? what does he have over you? what has he done to you? are you being honest? are you willing to put up with htis next year? what about the year after? IF there is something that you need that you do not get and you have made it clear that you need that thing then you have a problem. not a little one. you CANNOT compromise on the big things. concerts? friends? smoking (not small but can be fixed)? what you need in order to feel loved? be happy? sense his emotions? be fulfilled? what is the point in havinga relationship if the big things aren't getting done? you may as well choose someone at random. now that you know you have no chance of getting what you want from this guy you have a better chance of getting what you want from someone you do not even screen. sit him down. look him in theyes. tell him that what he did was unacceptable and next year you expect both a makeup gift and a second year gift and if he ever uses TEXT as a reasonable means of meaningful communication tell him to buy a pen and a piece of paper and write: EC means more than the river 500 times. that will teach him. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by prisoner sit him down. look him in theyes. tell him that what he did was unacceptable and next year you expect both a makeup gift and a second year gift and if he ever uses TEXT as a reasonable means of meaningful communication tell him to buy a pen and a piece of paper and write: EC means more than the river 500 times. that will teach him. I like that advice! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by prisoner i sat here and read the whole thread and could not believe it. you are so upset about this that you have spoken to your boss about it? Boss? Link to post Share on other sites
prisoner Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 thanks but it was not advice. if there was a book. a handbook. a lonely planet for the modern relationship. beyond doctor phil and oprah. the evolution of 'men who hate women...' the antithesis of most self help. it would unequivocally explain that getting what you want is priority a. the compromise and the giving and the sacrifice for love can and will come later. if it is love. the first stop on the way to LTR is having a reason to go in the first place. with all the people on the planet. with the gender split being so wide. it stands to rights that if you aren't getting what you want where you are then it must be somewhere else. it is not that we are selfish. it is not that we are petty. it is that we are clear and know what we want. in the age of baskin robbins (31 flavours) and starbucks (seven kind sof milk) we should be happy when someone knows what they want. and we should admonish and punish when we are disappointed. EC: get what you want. B_O: you are inspiring. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Originally posted by prisoner B_O: you are inspiring. BO, is this your prison boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
prisoner Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 yes, EC spoke to her boss about it, right? i talk to my boss about my salary and when it is going up and what i have to do to keep it from going down. i talk to her about the next board meeting and why the strategy is long term structured as opposed to short term desconstructed. i do not talk to him about what it was that happened and when in my social life. talk toy your boss about something and you know it is on your mind. that is all i meant. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Ohhhhhh. Sorry, I must've missed that part. I thought you were referring to her man as her 'boss'.....lmao. Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 EC, i'm torn. i don't think it's asking too much for you to be treated, within reason, the way that makes you feel special by the person whose job it is. if a partner's not going to make you feel special and important and wanted when that's what you deserve, what the hell's the point? but did he know this beforehand? they're not mind readers. sh*t, some of 'em are not mind owners. if you want something you've got to ask. otherwise he can't be reasonably expected to deliver. i think it's unfair to go down the 'he should just know' route. people don't just know. they need telling what's important to you. sit him down, tell him how it made you feel and see what happens next time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 16, 2005 Author Share Posted April 16, 2005 i do not talk to him about what it was that happened and when in my social life. talk toy your boss about something and you know it is on your mind. that is all i meant. LOL my boss is my roomates mother Shes like my second mommy so I talk to her about my problems. but did he know this beforehand? they're not mind readers. sh*t, some of 'em are not mind owners. he owns one but does hoe use it? lmao. But yeah we discussed it before hand and he knew how important it was to me. I was hurt. i am hurt..I haven't been able to talk to him about it..but i will. I will just say whatever comes out. Whatever I'm feeling. And if he disregards it..then i will disregard him. Thank you guys and PRISONER. Its true what you are saying. Im am not fufilled completely! I always thought that it was just because of the distance but I'm starting to realize maybe its him. I don't even demand a lot of attention but I need we are in an LDR you have to give a little bit more to make up for the distance and I'm not getting it. Just one little card. thats all I wanted. Its not so hard. I'm talking to him today so we'll see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted April 16, 2005 Share Posted April 16, 2005 A one-year anniversary is important. I do think that your boyfriend ought to have done something more than sending you a text message. I suppose it counts a little that he sent you a text message, but it sounds as though the two of you agreed that you both wanted to actually celebrate this anniversary, and not just acknowledge that you've lasted one year. Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted April 16, 2005 Share Posted April 16, 2005 EC...From you past forums.. I think you deserve someone who makes you feel complete all the time. Someone who's "here" and not giving you an excuse like "oh I'm not their so what am I suppose to do"...He can do a lot!! Don't feel like you're over-reacting and acting like this is just another "girl thing". If it really means something to you, you have to let him know how you feel. Don't be afraid of getting him upset or it causing you term-oil in your relationship...It's about time he starts respecting your feelings. I've settled a lot in my life and it made me suffer so much...Don't be afraid of being alone, as a matter of fact, you are kinda alone...You've done a lot in your life to make yourself happy and now after all this time you actually have something to offer and he's not responding...You deserve better, a better man that cares truly about your feelings and doesn't disregard them as "stupid girl things"....Their are some men out there that are romantic, sensitive and have passion....Like my Lozano... !!! Link to post Share on other sites
toyota Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 right, EC you are taking this WAY TOO SERIOUSLY! so, he sent you a text message? you said earilier somehting aling the lines of "i know its not the material things, even a scrap of paper with a highlightered message would of made me the happiest girl alive!" then your bummed because of this text message. what was the actual content of the message? maybe hes telling the truth, ever through about that? he has no money, bought the tickets in advance etc. so while he thinks your ok with being made up to later this week with a romantic meal your quietly simmering away bitching about him on some forum. how is it fair when you havnt even said how you feel? chances are he'll feel guilty and then realise how much hes hurt you. whats from stopping you from calling him, talking, and casually mentioning his mistake? Link to post Share on other sites
ECsPaL Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 she came here to vent, to see if she was overreacting before she started a fight with her boyfriend that might have hurt some more feelings and caused a bigger problem. that's what this forum is here for...ADVICE... Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by ECsPaL she came here to vent, to see if she was overreacting before she started a fight with her boyfriend that might have hurt some more feelings and caused a bigger problem. that's what this forum is here for...ADVICE... Your point is? I see advice. What people do with that advice is their business. 9 times out of 10 they do whatever they wanted to do to begin with, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 Right I came here for advice before I started anything with him. I wanted to check If was overreacting. I actually have an update..but I cant post it yet because I am still adding to it. lol EC'sPal?? Yay I have a pal!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ECsPaL Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Originally posted by toyota so while he thinks your ok with being made up to later this week with a romantic meal your quietly simmering away bitching about him on some forum. how is it fair when you havnt even said how you feel? That's my point of my reply, Blind_Otter. Link to post Share on other sites
simplyconfused Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 I feel for you, but just as an example. After year of dating my ex got me small chocolate bunny for £2 (he forgot to take the price tag off:) and thats it!! I was hurt as well, but I know he loved me. Even now after a year of breaking up he still tries to win me back. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted April 22, 2005 Share Posted April 22, 2005 Originally posted by EC Right I came here for advice before I started anything with him. I wanted to check If was overreacting. I actually have an update..but I cant post it yet because I am still adding to it. lol EC'sPal?? Yay I have a pal!!! Still waiting for that update! Link to post Share on other sites
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