BrandonWard Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Here's the chat logs with my ex gf of 5 years, Nearly 3 months no contact. I broke NC yes, But i'm quite indifferent and it won't affect me. ( the outcome ) First time she contacted me - Gyazo - 58b40dfdef40472b19ceed1b055e81ca.png I didn't respond to the " Do you have a woman " And the next day she sent me about hacking her email... ( Excuse to contact me probably ) Second part - Gyazo - 8e4d23c27fa0589f97d4936a0db38633.png Third part - Gyazo - add6f1256bd810d41b024d497a457909.png And i haven't replied to the " And a gf? " Yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnamonstix Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 She's just checking up on you and feeling you out. You should have stopped talking as soon as you said you wished her the best. Wish her the best again and go NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 If you're so indifferent to this contact.... .... why are you posting it so others can help you interpret what it means? Block her everywhere. Cut the contact so you can heal and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 If you're so indifferent to this contact.... .... why are you posting it so others can help you interpret what it means? Block her everywhere. Cut the contact so you can heal and move on. Because it won't hurt me whatever the outcome? I wouldn't mind trying again if It did lead to that as I'm the one that caused the break up due to taking her for granted. Ruby you must be one hurt individual to post negatively on every post like there are 0 happy endings or reconciles. Thanks for the advice anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 On the contrary, I've had a happy reconciliation myself -- so I know firsthand they exist! Block her and stop trying to interpret mixed signals. IF she ever decides she wants you back, you won't have to guess or interpret anything! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 On the contrary, I've had a happy reconciliation myself -- so I know firsthand they exist! Block her and stop trying to interpret mixed signals. IF she ever decides she wants you back, you won't have to guess or interpret anything! I agree, And usually dumpers come back and say " they made a mistake " etc etc. But based on your situation that's your perspective. Not everyone does it that way! But thanks, I just asked for your opinion on it. Not what i should do. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 No, not just based on my situation. Based on what I've seen my whole life for myself, my friends, and following stories online on sites like this. Dumpers don't have a problem asking for a second chance -- IF that's truly what they want. You're clinging to straws and delaying your own healing by staying in contact and trying to figure out what her messages "really mean." Move on -- find someone who loves you too much not to risk losing you with mixed messages. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 http://gyazo.com/084854a8e2de80a8b3e72cbcae387d35 Here's the next part. Since she sent that i have not replied in 2 days! If i wanted to maybe try and reconcile, would the best option be to reply and see where it lead's, or to carry on ignoring her and she what effort she puts in? *Awaiting Rubys response* Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 *Awaiting Rubys response* Hahhahaa! But I can't give you a reply, because I wouldn't be in contact with my ex. Maybe those who do stay in contact will give you advice on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 Hahhahaa! But I can't give you a reply, because I wouldn't be in contact with my ex. Maybe those who do stay in contact will give you advice on this. Surly you can give an opinion on what she may be doing? Or somthing lol!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Honestly, it just sounds like she enjoys flirting with you. Like she enjoys the attention and it's flattering to her because she knows you're into her still. If you cut contact, she might actually have to face NOT having you around to flirt with every time she needs an ego boost. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 Honestly, it just sounds like she enjoys flirting with you. Like she enjoys the attention and it's flattering to her because she knows you're into her still. If you cut contact, she might actually have to face NOT having you around to flirt with every time she needs an ego boost. I have been in strict No contact for 3 months. I think she has had time to " Not have me around " She cracked and messaged me after alot of breadcrumbs. That yes i did ignore 100%. I just sent her this. " Sophie, I'm not trying to come across as a idiot right now, But what are you trying to achieve from all this? You left me remember? You told me to leave you alone to experience life without me and that you didn't love me anymore. And i respected your wishes however hard it was for me at the time. Now your back into my life with no regards to my feelings, it's kind of selfish. Asking personal questions and saying things like " I prefer the old Brandon " And " That's why i like you, Your nor like other guys " Like i have some attractive traits to my personality? If that was the case you wouldn't of left me. You would of stuck by my side and actually worked on a relationship and talked about the problems instead of " Putting me on a trial period " Behind my back hoping i would change without actually telling me... " The grass is greener right?" I'm sorry for being so blunt, but what are your intentions? If it's nothing more than just being nosey then please leave me alone... Stop being so cryptic with everything you do, just be straight forward for once.. " Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 I mean, if you're going to respond, that's the ideal way to do so. Just be sure to stick with it when she gives her predictable wishy-washy answer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 I mean, if you're going to respond, that's the ideal way to do so. Just be sure to stick with it when she gives her predictable wishy-washy answer. What do you mean wishy washy? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 I have been in strict No contact for 3 months. I think she has had time to " Not have me around " She cracked and messaged me after alot of breadcrumbs. That yes i did ignore 100%. I just sent her this. " Sophie, I'm not trying to come across as a idiot right now, But what are you trying to achieve from all this? You left me remember? You told me to leave you alone to experience life without me and that you didn't love me anymore. And i respected your wishes however hard it was for me at the time. Now your back into my life with no regards to my feelings, it's kind of selfish. Asking personal questions and saying things like " I prefer the old Brandon " And " That's why i like you, Your nor like other guys " Like i have some attractive traits to my personality? If that was the case you wouldn't of left me. You would of stuck by my side and actually worked on a relationship and talked about the problems instead of " Putting me on a trial period " Behind my back hoping i would change without actually telling me... " The grass is greener right?" I'm sorry for being so blunt, but what are your intentions? If it's nothing more than just being nosey then please leave me alone... Stop being so cryptic with everything you do, just be straight forward for once.. " What do you mean wishy washy? She'll give you a non-specific answer that will give you hope and at the same time give her plenty of wiggle room to do what she wants regardless of your feelings. When she does this, do not respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 (edited) She'll give you a non-specific answer that will give you hope and at the same time give her plenty of wiggle room to do what she wants regardless of your feelings. When she does this, do not respond. Girl's for you... If she does do this, and i don't respond. What will happen? She'll either message me again or never again? Btw we was together 5 year's, so isn't some short term thing, if it makes any difference... Probably not lol Edited April 13, 2015 by BrandonWard Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Girl's for you... If she does do this, and i don't respond. What will happen? She'll either message me again or never again? Btw we was together 5 year's, so isn't some short term thing, if it makes any difference... Probably not lol Who knows ... She'll know you aren't a spineless turd. Whether that causes her to want to back is up to her. But it's a hell of a lot better strategy than emasculating yourself. And no, the length of your relationship doesn't mean crap. If anything, the longer it went, the more she thought through it before pulling the cord. Either way, you have to get off of this obsessing about what her words mean. Spending time worrying about what another person's motivations are is one of the most worthless enterprises on the planet. And stop with the "she's giving me mixed signals" crap. If she's giving you mixed signals she's not giving you the right signals. All you are doing by answering is humorist her and letting her know it's ok to continue to give mixed signals. So stop. If her signals mean anything as far as reconciliation you won't have to ask about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 Who knows ... She'll know you aren't a spineless turd. Whether that causes her to want to back is up to her. But it's a hell of a lot better strategy than emasculating yourself. And no, the length of your relationship doesn't mean crap. If anything, the longer it went, the more she thought through it before pulling the cord. Either way, you have to get off of this obsessing about what her words mean. Spending time worrying about what another person's motivations are is one of the most worthless enterprises on the planet. And stop with the "she's giving me mixed signals" crap. If she's giving you mixed signals she's not giving you the right signals. All you are doing by answering is humorist her and letting her know it's ok to continue to give mixed signals. So stop. If her signals mean anything as far as reconciliation you won't have to ask about it. Well what is done is done, Cant revert the message now! We'll see what happens and i'll keep this thread updated Thanks for your input mate Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Hey Brandon, You look like a really nice guy. Don't write anymore dissertations to this chick. Use the "KEEP IT SIMPLE" rule on text or email. Should you encounter a response, use no more than 1 - 5 unexpected confusing words. Such as: 1. Hey, howz it go'in? 2. Sup? 3. Whas' shak'in dudette? 4. Totally rock'in my world 2 C yr text! [Followed by a month or two of ignoring any of her texts]. 5. Look'in 4-ward 2 weekend, Sugar Babe! XOXO [be sure to include some kissy-kissy emoticoms]. You know, sometimes people get mixed up and send a text to the wrong address. I am particularly leaning towards #5. Haha. If you pull one of these, that's when you need to shut it down for awhile. Get my drift? Yas 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Well what is done is done, Cant revert the message now! We'll see what happens and i'll keep this thread updated Thanks for your input mate Your last message was fine -- as long as you stick to it. You've made your thoughts known clearly. It's up to her to come back at you clearly. Do not answer unless she does. Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 i don't see what the mixed signals are. the questions are very forward and to the point. if you are very interested, dance around the answer, get her talking. if you are not so interested. be forward and to the point and don't ask questions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 i don't see what the mixed signals are. the questions are very forward and to the point. if you are very interested, dance around the answer, get her talking. if you are not so interested. be forward and to the point and don't ask questions. Could you explain abit better? Can't really understand lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 Your last message was fine -- as long as you stick to it. You've made your thoughts known clearly. It's up to her to come back at you clearly. Do not answer unless she does. Thankyou mate! keep you updated Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrandonWard Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 Hey Brandon, You look like a really nice guy. Don't write anymore dissertations to this chick. Use the "KEEP IT SIMPLE" rule on text or email. Should you encounter a response, use no more than 1 - 5 unexpected confusing words. Such as: 1. Hey, howz it go'in? 2. Sup? 3. Whas' shak'in dudette? 4. Totally rock'in my world 2 C yr text! [Followed by a month or two of ignoring any of her texts]. 5. Look'in 4-ward 2 weekend, Sugar Babe! XOXO [be sure to include some kissy-kissy emoticoms]. You know, sometimes people get mixed up and send a text to the wrong address. I am particularly leaning towards #5. Haha. If you pull one of these, that's when you need to shut it down for awhile. Get my drift? Yas Thanks haha!... Don't quite get it though I do get the being simple bit though! Link to post Share on other sites
RocketQueen Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Hi, I've just read your thread and I personally think your ex is interested, she's just been thrown off balance by the coolness you're rightly so displaying. Her little questions about girlfriends are not a joke despite the 'lols' she's throwing in here and there, I think she thought you'd be more receptive and welcoming so she's unsure of how you feel. The message you sent her was fine but I think it will have bruised her ego a bit so she will take her time to respond. Take your time and play it cool and only reply to solid questions, don't get into the conversations that get you nowhere. Let us know how it goes:) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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