How can I stop being jealous of happily married women?

[Bobbi7]

I'm just consumed with rage and envy. At times, I go to the mall and start spending money on hot outfits and makeup so that I can look desirable for men.

[PinkElephants]

Why are you so jealous? And why do you think getting married, hot outfits and male attention are going to make you less enraged?

[PegNosePete]

I think you need to invest that money into a good therapist rather than hot outfits.

[Lion Heart]

I'm just consumed with rage and envy. At times, I go to the mall and start spending money on hot outfits and makeup so that I can look desirable for men.

 

Hopefully you can change your jealousy (a very negative and useless emotion IMHO) into envy (which I'm not sure is much better but I'm told it is!) BY getting very close to lots of married women.

 

My rule of thumb is if someone else has something that I'd like in my life, then I get close to those people and basically ASK them about all sorts. Sounds intrusive I know but just about everyone I've done this with is actually flattered! Some are quite surprised.

 

It's called modelling

[Lion Heart]

I'm just consumed with rage and envy. At times, I go to the mall and start spending money on hot outfits and makeup so that I can look desirable for men.

 

Hopefully you can change your jealousy (a very negative and useless emotion IMHO) into envy (which I'm not sure is much better but I'm told it is!) BY getting very close to lots of married women.

 

My rule of thumb is if someone else has something that I'd like in my life, then I get close to those people and basically ASK them about all sorts. Sounds intrusive I know but just about everyone I've done this with is actually flattered! Some are quite surprised.

 

It's called modelling. Just not the type that needs a catwalk!

 

I had a friend once who desperately wanted to marry. I actually didn't understand the "motivation to marry". We had so many discussions about it over 20y. She did almost EVERYTHING OPPOSITE to me. I was married 3x by the end of that friendship. The final nail in the coffin of our friendship was her jealousy over me being pregnant with twins.

 

Some people meet by chance or from school. I've never done the online stuff but my biggest piece of advice to people seeking a compatible partner is TO FOLLOW your passions with all the gusto you have. People who love the same things as you, will be there too.

 

One rule is never to date or start any relationships with men already attached in ANY WAY. This is a definite recipe for heartbreak. Useless waste of energy if you DO want a faithful partner.

 

Lion Heart.

[d0nnivain]

Rage is an incredibly strong emotion. It should be professionally addressed in therapy.

 

 

That said, many women, especially as we age & society tells us there is something wrong with us because we are not married do feel envious of those around us who appear to "have it all" especially when they have something we want.

 

 

Instead of being angry at those other women, use the best of their relationships as blue prints. Ascertain where they met their partners & what they have done to build healthy vibrant relationships. Then work those things into your life. They more then a hot new outfit guarantee long term success.

[mercuryshadow]

First of all, how do you know they are happy? Marriage is not some magical transformative fix-all. In fact, for some people it's quite the opposite! I'm married, and I'm happy, but it's not because I got married that I am happy...I was happy before I got married, and so was my husband. Marriage can be a facet to one's happiness, but it also requires its own maintenance.

Also, to be jealous or even full of rage toward these married women is not only counterproductive, but misplaced. They led completely different lives than you, made different choices, took different paths. There's no need to compete with anyone, ever. Let go of these negative feelings; they are serving as only a hindrance to your own goals and happiness.

[mea_M]

Sounds like you ours have some deep rooted anger and it might be displaced. Ever consider therapy?

[Phoe]

Sometimes I feel a little jealous.

 

So many married folks around here and I somehow missed the boat. Can be a bit disheartening.

 

But then I focus on what I DO have. Try to kill the negative thoughts with positive ones even if it feels like I'm faking it at first. It eventually sticks.

[dichotomy]

Many marriages are not happy and for sure they are often hard work. I am sure many see a single gal and are envious over some of what the perceive as your happy life. Grass is greener thing.

[mea_M]

Many marriages are not happy and for sure they are often hard work. I am sure many see a single gal and are envious over some of what the perceive as your happy life. Grass is greener thing.

 

Well said!

[Methodical]

Stop sitting back watching people who are married or in LDR and start living. Too many people get caught up observing others, wishing they had what someone else has. Sadly, they turn a blind eye to what's sitting right in front of them. If you feel there is nothing sitting right in front of you, then it's time to cut the roots holding you down and go out, mingle, make some friends, get involved in some hobbies...in other words, do something constructive.

 

Rushing to the mall and going on a spending spree is a temporary high. At the end of the day, the original problem still exists. The only way to change that is to get involved and start living.

[TexasMan68]

Start by accepting who you are, what you look like and quit trying to be someone your not. If you don't you'll never be pretty enough, rich enough, have a big enough house...etc...etc. Just my 2 cents worth.